philosophy blurb

In despair and sadness, I wander in the dark. The evening is cold and calm. Everything is still and silent. It is late and the moon light shimmers down. The dark sky is cold, distant and removed. The empty expanse cold and uncaring. I feel small. I want to hear my own voice. I vehemently cling to my words hoping they will morph into full-fledged ideas. I want to pronounce myself alive! I want to dream a fantasy, and have it all comes into being. I want to be triumphant. I want to step into the light and shine. But I finally admit that this is all a delusion. I am a nobody. Anything grand is a misunderstanding. But is there a different way of looking at this? What if the tiny self that I inhabit is actually a smaller piece of a bigger whole? What if I am just a line in a huge elaborate play? What if I am just a part in a larger cosmic symphony? What if I am quite simply the whole universe? Well, maybe that would give me power to explore and experiment. But then again, it could all be deterministic. Like a tinny music box? Playing on and on through intricate clockwork. Is there perhaps a better vantage point that allows a better view of the whole orchestra?