Thoughts about Love

A Poem by Aly Mendoza

It’s not the first time that I fell secretly in love, wait no " infatuated I mean, with someone who I know I can’t be with. But this time it’s different in the sense that I dream of him being the perfect lover, the perfect boyfriend and the perfect husband. But he’s the same with the others as well because…He does not serve Jehovah.

I grew mature a thousand more times than I was in high school. Now I knew well what love is, what infatuation means and I became wise enough to prevent any chance of flings and flirts. I am well-versed now on how to turn down guys, not that I have many suitors, or turn any miss-can-i-have-your-number moments to a just-smile-and-look-away one. I’ve been an expert on this, I tell you.

Many times before, I’ve been asked why I don’t entertain guys like most girls do. I knew exactly the reason why and did not bother to think about that piece of nonsense. But there came I time when I became of discontented of the reason that I started to explore beyond the usual do’s and don’ts engraved on me as a child. Out of curiosity, I tried to be in love and I knew it was love but far from being mature. I ignored the forewarning of the storm and that’s why I stumbled.

Now, I am far from that naïve girl I used to be. I know that the society spends its time giving importance on romantic love but romantic love not only there all is. There’s your family, your friends and people who will help you to grow without demanding something in return. Because that what immature love is. “Immature love can come and go in a moment . . . the focus is on you, and you’re simply in love with the idea of being in love . . . Immature love is clinging, possessive, and jealous. . . . Immature love demands perfection” (McCoy, Kathy, as cited in Watchtower, 1987).

I do not want give in to childish aspirations anymore. I don’t want to waste any of my valuable emotions on a mere fantasy. My heart tends to surrender easily so I’ll give it to Him " the One I know that can take care of it, Who will not break it, nor lose it, nor pass it around to people. I’ll spend those days of waiting, serving Him selflessly, knowing myself, and reaching my goals. I’ll never be tired of waiting because I know that, soon, I’ll meet someone far greater than what I asked God " that, I am sure of.