Curse You, Thank You & Goodbye

Curse You, Thank You & Goodbye

A Poem by A.C. Lei
"

"To one of my greatest mistakes..."

"
Hurt. Pain. 
That's what you had inflicted on me. 
I thought from the start I was someone special, 
Someone you can be yourself with, 
Someone to witness your genuine smile, 
Your real tears, 
Someone you can come to 
To confide with your anger, 
To share each of your laughters 
Each of your dreams 
I really thought I could be different to you, 
Someone who stands out among the other girls that pass by, 
To show you that what you see is real 
Not just a facade, not just a shallow fake 
But I thought wrong. 
I could've shown you simple joys, 
Opened your eyes to what's worth seeing, 
What's worth caring, 
I could've shown you what it meant, 
To value something more precious 
Than the expensive things that you buy 
To enjoy the comfortable silence 
Rather than to drink and dance the night away 
Wasting yourself, the trust your parents gave you. 
But you chose meaningless pleasures 
That always end as the night leaves 
You chose the fake scenes, 
And the plastic dreams 
The expensive leather 
The useless clutter 
You easily throw away like yesterday's trash. 
I don't know what I ever saw in you 
Call me vapid, call me a sucker 
To be easily swayed by a pretty face 
A pretty face engrossed with vanity, 
Now that I can see 
Looks and charm, that's all you were 
I thought I saw a human inside you, 
A soul within the twinkle of your eyes 
Dim but still could be bright 
I thought I could be the gasoline 
To brighten that flame. 
But I would be a fool 
To believe that anymore. 
You're nothing but a liar, 
A duffer, a thief, 
You stole my eyes, 
My breath. 
Now my lungs are full of smoke, 
My eyes flooding with unshed tears, 
My lips quivering at the thought of you, 
But I know this is just normal. 
To withdraw from a drug, from a habit 
I welcome the pain. 
They say that if you love someone you have to set them free 
Only a fool would believe that, 
A prose made by philosophers and romantics 
But I must try, foolishness be damned. 
If this is love, 
I must set myself free. 
If there was one thing that I'm thankful for 
In meeting you, 
Is that you made me remember 
That I need to love myself more, 
That for me to love myself, 
To make myself happy, 
I needed to be free. 
Thank you. 
Goodbye.

© 2017 A.C. Lei


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Added on February 4, 2017
Last Updated on February 4, 2017
Tags: curses, exes, heartbreak, grief, depression, anger, denial, mistakes, acceptance

Author

A.C. Lei
A.C. Lei

Philippines



About
"I'm a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, hidden by a riddle and guarded by a sphinx." I find inspiration in the darkness, in the hallowed pits of grey and the abysmal smoke of nothingness. Basically, .. more..

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