Commercials

Bleach your teeth whiter than the sun,

Burn the enamel until you stun!

Hurry up and smile in others’ faces

Only after, of course, you get invisible braces.

Now turn your worthless body into a sexy stick!

Hmm…it might help if you had a tick

To drain out the excess weight.

Then you’ll be looking just great!

Your hair needs to be drenched in oils,

And burnt in glorious foils.

Your mane is so unhealthy, you know why?

We have a new product you need to buy.

What follows, what we need to address,

Is the chest which causes you so much stress

You really ought to wear larger bra,

Wait there while we get a saw!

What ails you so is such embarrassing skin,

Scars from surgeries, stretch marks from bearing kin.

How awful! But don’t worry, we have procedures to redeem,

Creams and lotions to buy; expensive, but worth the added self esteem. 

After that, it’s on to facial mistakes.

A bit more difficult to remake. 

Your nose has to go, your eyebrows, your chin,

Recovery’s a pain, but your looks are a sin!

The list goes on and on, so many helpful tips,

So many terrible layers left to strip. 

You can turn it off, we’ll send you more until it festers

But aren’t you feeling so much better? 

Reviews

[Lyric Poet]

My favorite image is the "tick" draining out the excess weight :-) Don't expect any kudos from Madison Avenue regarding this poem. You are obviously a communist, and a threat to the home-spun values of our capitalistic society. In fact, I should immediately report you to the Homeland Security folks. After I bleach my teeth, of course.