Fetus in a Bag

Oh, how I love babies,

So sweet and so mild!

But my vanity is far too great

To carry an unborn child.

So I’ll carry my dear baby around in my purse,

Right beside my lipstick and my hairbrush. 

No need for ultrasounds,

No want for a nurse. 

We’re connected by love

And an umbilical cord.

I’ll have my parents blessings,

And (of course) that of the Lord’s. 

I’ll give her all the attention I have to give,

(While fishing for my credit card)

I'll never miss my friends calls,

And never gain an ounce of lard!

Oh it would be so great,

To carry around my baby wherever I may go!

And be able to set her down

To reapply my womanly glow. 

And if the initial thrill

Should ever start to fade away...

I’ll just empty out my purse on the floor,

And go about my day!

Reviews

[Lyric Poet]

Pregnancy can be, and often is, a beautiful experience--even for the would-be Dad. Yet, it undoubtedly comes with some "unwanted baggage". This honest examination of those feelings is likely to hit home with many women. Well done.

[Bubo]

Nice look at how pregnancy can drain you!! But having had two live births I can say they were the happiest days of my life..........your rhyming was great and I liked your idea to create such a good poem.