commandments

Thou shall not steal
Tell that to the child who cant afford a meal
Thou shall not kill
Tell that to the soldier who fights for a stupid hill

Simple rules for a simple mind
They say follow them and you will find
A way to a paradise in the stars
Someplace with peace and no wars

So what happen to those who need this paradise most
Are they doomed to the eternal roast
Or are they the acceptation to this souly judgment
Should it matter how their life was spent

This I ask with no reply
As I wish I could die 
 

Reviews

[::Yv0nne::]

This was really awesome...you express your feelings so well and i agree with u to some extent. The first stanza really is amazing:) But then the end leaves me questioning...why would you want to die if you did not get a reply?? To see if u would truly end up in the stars?? But overall it was great. Good job:)

[Elanra]

Thou shall not steal
Tell that to the child who cant afford a meal
Thou shall not kill
Tell that to the soldier who fights for a stupid hill

this was amazing.. this is truly amazing. I am having goosebumps bcus of this.
but I agree with tayler about the ending. the ending does go with such a beginning. you seem to objecting the facts, rebelling against them at the beginning then you are talking about death.

but that put aside... awesome work. XD

[Tayler]

Or perhaps is it the it is not the commandments but it is the people. This sounds like a conversation I've had. Honestly, the only thing I didn't like was the ending. It contradicted with the poem. The only escape isn't death, to me that's the easy way out. I don't wish for death when I can help the people.

But I loved the first stanza.
'Thou shall not steal
Tell that to the child afford a meal'

That alone is awesome :) Great job!