Without

Without warning- I erupt,
Left devastated, hollow: emotionally bankrupt.
A cleansed soul, but thoughts still corrupt-
A habit that even peace does not disrupt.

Proceeding without caution-
Numb lesions forgotten-
Forsaking any other option-
I embrace what is familiar to the point of exhaustion.

I yield to desires I can do without,
Ignoring the pain, and more importantly why it came about-
My eyes stay distracted navigating an exit route,
To avoid the cold stare of personal doubt.

A head on collision without intention to stop-
Convinced I am on a bungee- this is not a suicidal drop-
I wrecklessly negotiate which feelings to swap-
In these careless moments I forgive all that I am not.