A Method to his Madness

The backstory to the well-beloved character- The Mad Hatter, and an explanation of his madness.

The first things that come to your mind when you hear the word Wonderland is probably Alice, the Cheshire Cat, a potion that makes you shrink, and the Mad Hatter at a mad tea party. The Mad Hatter…. Was he always this mad? Did he always have the qualities and embodiments of insanity and idiocy? My answer is no, in fact, the Hatter used to be quite a sane man with an almost reasonable mind that was not always stuck in a time lapse of craziness and lunacy. What turned him into such a colorful and confusing character, you might ask. I shall tell you the answer, probably the answer to most questions that have to do with a change in men, and that answer is love… a romance gone wrong, an affair gone sour. A story that truly shows the cruelty and unkindness of our world, which drove him to another one. One cheerful and carefree… untroubled. One where he could forget about the wretched and dejected relationship, and stay disconnected from this harsh world. One called, Wonderland.

Jefferson Theophilus sat in his workshop a certain sunny and cheery Saturday afternoon, engrossed in choosing of the perfect fabric for a woman’s wide-brimmed hat. Later, he knew he was going to adorn it with ornate ribbons, feathers, and other such embellishments, but for now he had to pick the pattern that would go flawlessly with the trimming he had selected previously. He was just about to start pumping the sewing machine when the bell placed above the entrance of his quaint shop sounded. He sighed and pushed back his chair, straightening his vest and checking his gold pocket watch, which revealed that three hours had passed since he last identified the time. He drew back the curtains that led to and from his store and workspace, and went behind the counter. A young woman with brunette hair and a slender figure, facing away from him, had her neck craned back as she marveled at all of the variety and diversity of hats stacked up the walls. After a few moments of silence, Jefferson finally decided to speak up. “May I help you with anything?”

The woman jumped and turned around sharply. “Oh! Forgive me,” she gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “I did not see you there.” She was quite taken aback when she saw his face, one that most people would not describe as particularly handsome. He had a large, awkward nose specked with freckles and beaver-like teeth. Not to mention his pure white hair, even though he seemed so young. Similarly, Jefferson found himself suddenly at a loss of words; he had never seen a woman as beautiful as she. She had fair skin with dark, brunette hair, but her most prominent and stunning feature were her clear, blue eyes. When he stayed silent, she pursed her lips together. “Well…. Umm… I was looking at that hat over there, do you think you could tell me how much it costs?”

Jefferson left the counter and went to see which hat she was talking about, making it a much bigger affair than need be. “Oh that one! Ten shillings and a six pence!”

She nodded silently and walked to another stylish cap. “And this one?”

“Ten shillings and a six pence….”

She shot a critical look in Jefferson’s direction. “Are you teasing me?”

“Not in the least, madam… in fact everything in this store is exactly ten shillings and a six pence!”

She tilted her head, her eyes clouding with confusion. “How curious…. ‘Course, that would explain why your shop is called Ten Shillings and a Sixpence…” Now with this new bit of information, she continued browsing the store. “Even this hat?” She gestured towards a large top hat, one which’s circumference at the top was very great indeed. It was made of a dark, green felt with a wide, bright, blue satin sash running around it. It was the only one marked with a price. The small tag was a white square of paper wedged between the sash and the hat, with 10/6 scribbled on it.

“Even that one!” Jefferson said, stuffing his hands in his vest pockets. He was undeniably very proud of this certain hat, and it was sure to be his favorite in the whole shop.

The woman picked up the hat and tilted it so she could get a proper view of it from all sides. “Pity I am not a gentleman… If I was I would buy this from you right now and wear it everyday… with whatever I am wearing!”

Most normal people would have been very confused at a statement like this, but Jefferson was not quite normal. “Yes… a great pity….”

“Why don’t you wear it?” She said suddenly, holding out the hat to him. “You are obviously very fond of it.”

He shrugged and affectionately took the hat from her gloved hands to place it back on the shelf. “It’s not mine to wear,” was his simple answer. After a few more minutes, the woman picked out the first hat she had singled out and paid for it at the counter.

“Well… I very much enjoyed your shop Mr. …”

“Theophilus,” Jefferson finished for her. “Jefferson Theophilus.”

“Jefferson Theophilus…” She mumbled, mostly to herself. “Very nice to meet you!” She gathered her purchase and began to walk away.

Don’t let this opportunity leave you, Jefferson! Who knows when you will ever find a girl as beautiful as her! He scoured his scattered thoughts for something that would stop her and bring positive attention towards himself. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” It was the first riddle that came to his mind.

“Pardon?” She asked, turning around.

“Erm… Why is a raven like a writing desk? It-It’s a riddle.”

She giggled, a laugh Jefferson knew, just knew, he would never get tired of. “I do not know… Why is a raven like a writing desk, Mr. Jefferson Theophilus?”

“When you let me know your name, I’ll give you my answer.”

She smirked at him and gave him what he wanted, her name being Mary Ann, and Jefferson told the solution to the puzzle. She left then, Jefferson feeling somewhat defeated and fearing that he would never see her again…

 

But he was quite wrong, in fact, only a day passed before she came through his doors again. “Good morning,” she said simply as she began browsing through the hats.

“Mary Ann!” Jefferson cried, a bit too eagerly. “Um… I mean. Good morning, madam.” He didn’t have many costumers today… he didn’t have many customers most days. “How are you this morning?”

“Quite well…. And you?”

Jefferson shrugged. “As well as I ought to be.” They continued small talk in this manner, bringing up subjects such as the weather, politics, and fashion.

“Oh dear!” Mary Ann declared quite suddenly. “I have seemed to miss tea time…”

“Have we now?” Jefferson asked, pulling out his pocket watch to observe the time. “I have some tea leaves in my workshop. I can brew some up if you like… that way we won’t have to miss it all together…”

Mary Ann smiled. “Oh, how sweet! Yes, that sounds quite lovely.” So the hatter scurried off to the back room to place the kettle over the fire and set up teacups, laying a few tealeaves in the bottom of each cup. Once he cleared off his desk, simply by sweeping his arm across the top to throw the materials and hat-making tools to the floor, he set the cups, saucers, spoons, and a pitcher of cream on the center. “Alright, you may come back here now!” He called as he finally relocated the sugar bowl to rest near the milk.

Mary Ann pushed away the curtains that led to the back room and sat down in one of the seats in front of the table. “How charming!” She exclaimed.

“Unfortunately we will have no cakes, biscuits, or crumpets, but we shall make do.” But nevertheless, Jefferson was proud of himself. They waited in silence for quite a long time, staining to hear the sound of the shrill whistle from the kettle. It never came. “Well… that’s odd,” Jefferson mumbled mostly to himself. He crouched down near the fire and peered into the kettle. “Oh, how silly of me!” He cried suddenly.

Mary Ann leaned forward in her chair. “What is it?”

“It seems I never poured water into the pot before I put it over the fire…” Jefferson began to feel very unintelligent… very unintelligent indeed. He locked eyes with Mary Ann’s and gave her an apologetic and bashful grin. At first, she came across as sympathetic for his own idiocy, but very soon let out small giggles. Giggles quickly turned into laughter, which changed into a few snorts and gasping for air.  “Forgive me,” she sputtered between laughter. Jefferson stared at her in bewilderment. What did I do? He asked himself. But very soon he found himself joining her in her merriment.

 

They continued to have these odd and somewhat eccentric, but always enjoyable, meetings almost everyday. In fact, it seemed that Mary Anne came to 10 Shillings and a Sixpence daily, much to Jefferson’s delight. She would always act as if interested in buying one of the many hats, but each time walked out empty handed. A small corner of Jefferson’s mind liked to dwell in the fantasy that she came only to see him, but that seemed quite impossible…. Didn’t it?

“Must you work this afternoon?” Mary Ann asked with a slight whine in her voice. A month came and went, that time comprising of many tea times and laughter.

“Yes,” Jefferson said simply, pumping the sewing machine.

Mary Ann sighed and tried on a few newly made hats that had yet to be placed on the shelves. “But why? You had a good enough income yesterday…. Can’t we go outside for just a little bit?” She sounded so innocent, and had so much longing in her voice. Jefferson looked up to admire her for a bit. She had a large and flamboyant sun hat on with feathers sticking out from one side. Noticing his gaze, Mary Ann struck a few silly poses, as if modeling the fashionable hat.

Jefferson laughed and knew he couldn’t resist. “Alright… fine… maybe for a few hours.” She squealed and put the hat back on the table. He stood up and stretched, raising his arms to the ceiling to lengthen his back that had cramped after many hours of working. This, however, was cut short when Mary Ann flung her arms around his torso and hugged him, causing him to stumble backwards. He laughed and hugged her back before they left the hat shop, arm in arm.

They settled down on a bench facing a scenic lake and watched the ducks chase each other. “Lets play a game!” Mary Ann suddenly exclaimed after many moments of silence.

Jefferson laughed. “Well alright. What game would you like to play?”

“I made it up! You have to think of every word that starts with a specific letter…. Let’s do… ‘M’. Ok I’ll go first.” She thought for a little bit then said, “Monument!”

Jefferson scratched his head and went along with her strange game. “Materials.”

“May… or Month!”

“Madagascar.” They continued this for quite some time, and soon Jefferson began to run out of words starting in ‘M’. “Ummm…. M…. Mmmmm…. Malice?”

“No!” Mary Ann yelled. “They have to be positive! Malice, malnutrition, madness… all against the rules!”

“Oh…. Well, alright. How about Mary Ann?”

She laughed and gently shoved his arm. “Do you give up?”

“Yes… I give up… you win.” Mary Ann gave a small shout of victory before the two decided to head back to the hat shop.

 

Jefferson replaced the empty spots on the shelves with new hats and observed his handiwork. The bell rang over his entrance and he turned to see Mary Ann walk through. “Good afternoon, Jefferson!”

“Hello, Mary Ann,” Jefferson said, once again feeling his stomach swirl with butterflies, as it always did when he looked at her. “How are you?”

“Alright….” She walked up next to him to also admire the hats. “You’re very good at your trade,” she said simply.

He smiled. “Thank you!” He obviously had great pride in his work.

“In fact,” Mary Ann started, turning to him. “So good, why aren’t there more customers in your millinery?”

Jefferson shrugged. “Dunno…. Probably because of the hat shop around the block…” he went back to the counter to straighten out a couple of miscellaneous items there.

“You mean ­­­­­­‘Sharp and Davis’s’?”

“That’s the one.”

Mary Ann bit her lip, feeling a twinge of guilt since she had just bought a new hat from there the other day. “Well, I don’t think there is a difference between the quality of your work and the quality of their work! Most people just shop there because many do not notice yours. It’s quite hidden on the corner… ”
            “Thank you…. for the vote of confidence. But I don’t think that’s the reason…”

“Well, I think I’m right! It’s just many don’t know this place actually exists….”

Jefferson studied her for a bit. His expression changed from bitter to hopeful. “You really think so?”

Mary Ann smiled. “I know so!” She came over and gave him a hug. If I could just get folks into Jefferson’s store, I’m sure they would buy. Her mind began reeling with plans and schemes to get her neighbors into 10 Shillings and a Sixpence.

 

Jefferson found himself staring from the counter, out the window, and into the dreary streets of the outdoors one afternoon. He pulled out his pocket watch for the umpteenth time that day. Mary Ann usually came in the late morning… It was now 3 o’clock. She’s late… And only two more hours until closing time. He walked around the shop to straighten the hats on the shelves, passing nonchalantly by the door to see if anybody was there… No one was. He went back to his workshop and continued to fiddle with an almost finished black top hat. He had just picked the perfect satin sash when he heard the bell ring. Jefferson instantly bolted up, only to casually sit back down again when he heard a man’s voice. I’ll just finish gluing this sash… then I’ll help my customer. In his mind, if it wasn’t Mary Ann, it wasn’t pressing. He continued working when the bell rang again. This time a multitude of voices flooded through. “Well that is very strange…” Jefferson thought. As stated before, his shop wasn’t very popular, always the underdog when it came to ‘Sharp and Davis’s’ the more famous millinery, just around the block. Jefferson peeked his head through the curtains to see quite a crowd gathered in his humble shop. And there was Mary Ann, standing on a small stool in the center of the room. “Alright!” She shouted above the noise, quieting the room. “Mr. Theophilus will be here in a minute. Browse the shop until he comes. Remember: everything is 10 shillings and a sixpence.” All this, Jefferson observed with out being noticed. He shrank back into the workshop, completely flabbergasted and flustered to say the least. There must have been 10, no, 20 in my shop! 20 people! All in one day! But he couldn’t seem to face the expecting crowd… not yet.

“Jefferson?” came the soft voice of Mary Ann.

Jefferson straightened his vest and tried his best to smooth back his wild hair. “Mary Ann?” He waited as she slipped through the drapes.

“Jefferson! Why in heaven’s name are you back here?”

“I’m hiding,” Jefferson said in a small voice.

Mary Ann laughed. “And why would you do that?”

Instead of answering, instead admitting that he was truly terrified of disappointing so many people, or messing up in front of them, he changed the subject. “Did you bring them all here?”

She smiled. Instead of answering herself, she walked up to him and straightened his bowtie. “Go help your costumers, hmm?”

Jefferson nodded. 20 customers… all in one day… all in one week… He looked down at Mary Ann’s clear, blue eyes… In fact, he could swear to himself he had never beheld eyes bluer than hers. Mary Ann blushed at his intense gaze and broke his stare by encircling her arms around his waist. Jefferson hugged her back and couldn’t think of anything better. Except… Maybe… Jefferson gathered every ounce of courage from his tall frame, broke away from Mary Ann’s embrace, grasped her by her slim shoulders, and, only pausing to search her confused eyes for a moment, pressed his lips against hers. It was brief and extremely abrupt, but Jefferson didn’t mind. In fact he was quite thrilled that he had found enough nerve within himself to make such a brave move. Without waiting for any sign from Mary Ann, whether positive or negative, and boldly flung aside the curtains to face his many customers, now with confidence surging through his veins.

Mary Ann watched with wide eyes as Jefferson pushed aside the curtains that separated the workspace from the shop and leaned against the table, letting the whirlwind of all the recent events run through her mind… over and over again. She tried to sort out her feelings, but they were all too muddled to make any sense of them. He kissed me… He just kissed me… It was a thrilling thought and made her stomach flop around. But… but did I want to be kissed? I’ve only thought of him as a friend before. She couldn’t seem to decide if that was true or not. She always made sure to leave her house right on time, so she could have tea with Jefferson in this small workshop. She always made sure her hair looked pretty, and her eyes seemed bright, and her clothes fitted properly and looked flattering. She also felt heat rise to her cheeks every time he looked at her with the intensity he usually did, and felt butterflies swirl in her stomach when he ran his fingers through his unruly hair, even if it was white. But all those feeling were merely friendly, right? Mary Ann buried her head in her hands. “Who am I fooling?” She asked, aloud. So she fancied a hatter. Her parents would be furious. Jefferson had no important title, he hardly had a business to brag about, only a sorry hat shop that got customers when she herself went door to door to advertise a hat bought from 10 Shillings and a Sixpence. Yes, her parents would be very displeased with this newfound discovery of her heart. Mary Ann slipped out of the millinery unnoticed and went home to battle her own feelings.

Jefferson switched the sign on the front door from “open” to “closed” and turned around to study his shop. After today, he only had one third of his hats left. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled broadly. His green eyes fell on the dark emerald top hat Mary Ann had noticed the first day she happened into his shop. No one had bought it yet… “Wait! Mary Ann!” He had never seen her leave his shop. Did she stay in his workspace those few hours? “Mary Ann! Oh, Mary Ann, you were wonderful, just marvelous! How did you find so many people-” he stopped short when he finally reached the workshop to discover no one was there. “Mary Ann?” Only silence answered him. “She left without saying goodbye?” Jefferson sank into a chair, feeling deflated.

 

Mary Ann stayed as far away from 10 Shillings and a Sixpence as she could, now fearful of her new affections. Jefferson noticed this with despair. I scared her off… I know it! He was distraught. Only his many new customers kept his spirits up. A week passed by, still with no sign of her.

Jefferson walked around his shop with a middle-aged man who was looking for a new top hat for a wedding. “Just a simple, black one…” he was saying to Jefferson. He picked up a cap that fitted his description perfectly.

“Aye, I would agree simple and black is the safest decision, however, if you truly want to make a bold, daring statement….” He dramatically held up the large, green, felt hat, not without a painful memory of Mary Ann.

The man looked hesitant. “I… I’m not sure if…” The bell rang above the entrance and a new customer entered. Jefferson looked to see the thoughtful, blue eyes of Mary Ann. “I….I….I will be with you in a minute,” Jefferson choked. She smiled and nodded and started to browse the shop. Jefferson reverted his attention back to the man, trying to push Mary Ann out of his mind, but she stubbornly stayed there, pressing on his ever-present thoughts. “I do think you would look sharp in a hat like this one,” he continued, holding up the outlandish top hat. 

The man studied it for a moment before shaking his head. “Maybe next time, Jeff. But for now, I’ll just go with the black one.” Jefferson tried to hide his disappointment. He wanted someone else to enjoy such a marvelous hat. He wanted people to start wearing styles similar to that one; similar to the fads he was creating. But someone had to wear it out first. After the man purchased and left, Jefferson finally turned to Mary Ann. “Hello,” he offered shyly.

She smiled. “Hello.”

“I-I was afraid you weren’t…. coming back.”

She laughed a little. “I was sorting things out.”

Jefferson sighed. “I guess I should apologize for… for the other day. I think I read a little to far into our…. Uh… friendship.”

“No…. No you didn’t…” Mary Ann mumbled softly.

“Pardon?”

“You didn’t read too far…. You read exactly right.”

“I don’t understand,” Jefferson said, completely confused.

Mary Ann rolled her eyes and instead of trying to explain through words, she went up on her tippy-toes and kissed his cheek before scurrying out of the shop.

 

Jefferson lay in his bed that night, tossing and turning, kicking the covers off, then throwing them back on over himself. He counted hats, invented more riddles, named every type of tea he knew, and thought of every word in the dictionary that started with ‘M’- Mary Ann! She never left his thoughts and kept him wide-awake. Our hatter was not one for having beau experience, so he was still quite befuddled with Mary Ann’s answer, or lack thereof, to his question. She kissed my cheek…. That’s a positive sign right? But then she left. She ran out… That can’t be good. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He threw off the sheets and tripped out of bed, hastily pulling suitable clothes over his pajamas, and tugging shoes over his large feet. Can’t leave without a bowtie… He spotted one and circled it around his neck, not bothering to knot it into a bow. Gloves… of course my gloves… mustn’t go anywhere without my gloves. He grabbed them on his way out and ran out of his house, not even considering the fact that he had no clue where Mary Ann lived.

After wandering the streets on London for quite sometime, he remembered about his store book, where he records every purchase. Jefferson listed the type of hat, the price (which, naturally, never changed), the customer, and the buyer’s address in this one book, located under the counter. Running wildly to his shop, he unlocked the entrance and flipped through the pages of said book, tearing a few, until he came across Mary Ann’s name and address. Now with proper information, he restarted his quest.

When he arrived at her house, or rather mansion, he was just trying to decide which window was hers when a patch of light caught his eye. There, near the corner of the residence, located on the second floor, was an open window with light flooding into the velvet night. As he approached it, he saw glimpses of Mary Ann as she spun and danced around her room, hugging a pillow against her chest and singing. Jefferson, of course, only saw her when she passed right by her window, due to the height difference. He smiled and swayed along to her singing, then joined her during the chorus.

Mary Ann sat down at her vanity and began pulling out the pins that held her wavy, brunette hair up and let her sweet voice fill the room. Then, another voice joined her own, but his one was rough, obnoxious, and quite off pitch. She stood up so abruptly, the bench she was sitting on flipped over and her hair fell all the way out. The voice continued, even after she stopped, and was coming from the outside. She cautiously stuck her head out to see Jefferson standing below, staring up at her. “Jefferson! What in heaven’s name are you doing here? Why are you even up at this absurd hour?!” She cried.

Jefferson smiled. “I could ask you the same thing…” He watched as her cheeks flushed and she had to break his gaze. “Mary Ann,” Jefferson said so calmly, so adoringly, Mary Ann snapped her eyes up to look at him. Now seeing he had her full attention, he had no idea what he was going to say next.

Mary Ann, noticing his silence, leaned further out her window. “What?”

“Mary Ann… I-I don’t know what to say. But, until I do I will stay. My mind is filled with memories of you. Mary Ann has made me anew!” he paused with his hand outstretched towards her for a dramatic effect. “But, you have yet to answer, my question of knowledge enhancer. Will you be mine? Oh, please, give me the sign,” as he finished, he bowed, quite proud of his, what he believed, quality rhyme.

Mary Ann’s mouth dropped open as she listed to this terrible poem, obviously one that was impromptu, and had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep back her laughter. “Jefferson,” she started once she successfully swallowed her giggles. “I… I thought I did give you my answer….” Seeing the confusion on his face, she smiled.

“Madam! I am aghast at the riddles you confront me with! Does your heart belong with mine or not?” Jefferson exclaimed.

Mary Ann, for the first time that night, fully took in Jefferson’s appearance. He looked most ridiculous. His wild, white hair was not combed back and stuck out every which way, and he was wearing a white, button down shirt, although buttoned all incorrectly and lopsided. He had a red bowtie hanging around his shirt collar but was not tied and his pants looked as if they had been rolled up in a ball for quite a few weeks. The only thing he was wearing correctly were his white gloves that she had never seen absent from his hands.

“Mary Ann…” Jefferson quietly whined, reminding her she had yet to give him an answer.

“Jefferson, my heart is yours,” Mary Ann whispered. She laughed as she watched him hop all around the yard, throwing his fist up in the air and doing some kind of absurd victory dance, shouting and hollering as he went. “Please quiet down, Jefferson! Lets try not to wake the whole house!”

Jefferson instantly plopped on his rear and pressed his lips together, following her command but never letting his piecing, green eyes leave hers. Sitting Indian style on the grass made him certainly look ludicrous. “Mary Ann, you make my heart sing,” he said, smiling.

Mary Ann’s cheeks flushed and she began to play with her hair, hoping he wouldn’t notice… but she knew he did. He seemed to observe every little thing she did, which was remarkable for someone who always looked so distracted and unfocused. He noticed and he saw. And she was convinced of this. “Jefferson… I… You should go…”

He stood up and walked towards the house until he was pressed up against the wall. Slipping his hand inside his pocket, he revealed a flower, albeit quite smushed and withered, but a flower all the same. He stretched up on his toes and reached his arms up; trying his best deliver the blossom to Mary Ann. Once he finally accepted the fact that he would never be able to reach her on the second floor, he slouched in defeat.

“Throw it,” Mary Ann said softly, extending her hand out.

Jefferson flung the flower up to her and watched with delight as Mary Ann successfully caught it. “I picked it for you,” he said, proudly.

“Oh! Well…” Mary Ann tried to sniff the blossom, but it drooped due to a rotten stem. At the same time, a few dead petals fell. “It’s… it’s quite lovely.”

He beamed at her and started backing away. “Goodnight….”

Mary Ann smiled back. “Goodnight.” She turned away and closed the window, waving at Jefferson one more time before she let the curtains fall.

Mary Ann, knowing the flower was beyond saving, opened up her journal and carefully laid the blossom on one of the pages, before pressing it. Now she could keep it forever. She went to bed that night with warmth spreading throughout her body, starting in her heart.

Unknowingly, she slept with Jefferson still close. After she closed the curtains, he started walking towards the road, but something stopped him. Glancing up towards her window lovingly, he could still imagine her there. Her blue eyes, dancing with laughter, her brunette hair tumbling over her shoulders, her smile, lighting up the dark night… he could see it all. Walking back to the house, he found a red rose bush, directly under Mary Ann’s window. Ignoring the thorns that gave him quite a few battle wounds, he lied underneath the flowers and quickly fell asleep with a soft smile on his mouth, awaking only when the sun was just about to rise and slipping away, unnoticed.

 

Three weeks passed, and Mary Ann still came to 10 Shillings and a Sixpence daily, although nothing was spoken of that midnight visit. Mary Ann kept their unusual relationship a secret from her family, knowing if they figured out her beau was a hatter… well, they wouldn’t exactly be pleased. Jefferson found himself falling for Mary Ann, convincing himself he was more in love with her everyday. And this feeling was mutual for both participants.

Mary Ann approached his hat shop a little later than usual, peeking inside the window first, seeing Jefferson staring at the door longingly. She laughed to herself when she saw him quickly pretend to be writing something down as she walked through his doors. “Hello, Jefferson.”

“Mary Ann!” Jefferson said with pretend surprise on his face. “I did not see you there!”

“Oh really?” Mary Ann asked, approaching his counter.

“Yeah… I was… umm writing down a few purchases,” Jefferson stuttered.

“You were?” Mary Ann looked down to see him feigning to write with a pair of scissors. “You were writing with that?”

Jefferson held up the scissors in shame. “Oh… I thought this was a pen… at first….” He hung his head.

Mary Ann laughed. “I think you were waiting for me to arrive…. I also think you were beginning to doubt if I was coming at all today!”

Jefferson snapped his eyes up. “No! No I….. well… yeah. Maybe…”

Mary Ann smiled and leaned over the counter, kissing his cheek. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Really? What is it? What is it?” Jefferson asked, resembling an eager five year-old on Christmas morning.

“You have to leave shop for a few hours to see it.” And that’s when the hesitance flashed across Jefferson’s comical face. He almost loved his millinery as much as he loved Mary Ann…. Almost.

“But the hats… I have to sell the hats… and the customers…” He stopped himself when Mary Ann pouted for a bit.

“Just for a few hours….”

Curiosity took over and he gave in. “Fine! Lets go!”

Mary Ann took Jefferson’s hand and led him out of the shop. “Where are we going?” he asked her.

She looked back at him, her blue eyes glimmering with laughter. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” Her lips slightly curved with a winsome smile and she started running, dragging Jefferson behind her. “Keep up!”

He started running as well, getting glimpses of Mary Ann’s lovely face only when she turned her head to smile back at him. And each time she did, Jefferson found his heart melting. The sun reflected off her brunette hair, which bounced around her flushed face. Her cheeks were slightly colored from the exercise…. And she never looked more beautiful. He was so entranced that he didn’t realize they had reached their destination until Mary Ann stopped and grinned at him. “Look,” she giggled, bouncing on her toes with excitement. He tore his eyes away from her and gazed around himself. She had led him to what seemed to be a never-ending meadow, with a clump of trees near them. Underneath these trees was a round table, covered with a white cloth, adorned with a beautiful tea set, plus multiple dishes of crumpets, cakes, and cookies. Hanging from the branches of the trees were tiny glass lanterns with lighted candles in them. Jefferson could only gape.

Seeing the stunned look on his face, Mary Ann explained. “Tea time is my favorite time of the day,” she confessed. “I thought we might as well have a proper tea session.”

“Who else is coming?” Jefferson asked.

Mary Ann laughed. “Its just for you and me, silly!”

He reverted his attention towards her. “Really?” When she nodded, Jefferson grinned. On impulse, he scooped Mary Ann up in his arms bridal style and spun her around. She laughed and clung to Jefferson’s neck.

“Put me down!” She cried, her voice lined with giggles. Jefferson complied and placed her back on her feet. Suddenly, both at once, Jefferson and Mary Ann realized that what just happened was slightly improper. Jefferson scuffed his toe in the grass and Mary Ann smoothed out her full-length skirt.  

“Well! Shall I pour the tea?” Mary Ann asked, gesturing towards the table. Jefferson nodded and pulled out a chair for her, before seating himself.

Mary Ann began pouring the tea as Jefferson started piling scones on his plate. “Good…” he said simply.

Mary Ann paused. “What’s good?”

“Its good you don’t have any mustard on the table… isn’t good for anything, you know… nothing at all!” he muttered, buttering a piece of toast.

Mary Ann shrugged. “I did not know you detested it so much…” She handed him his china cup and Jefferson fixed his tea the way he liked it. “I say!” She exclaimed, “What a lovely day it is today!”

Jefferson glanced up at the blue skies. “Indeed…” he said, sipping his tea. He suddenly let his cup clatter on its saucer as he placed it quickly on the table. His eyes lit up as if an earth-shattering thought just passed through his mind. “Why, Mary Ann? Have you ever heard of an unbirthday?”

She lifted her confused eyes from her crumpets, first to his spilt tea, then to Jefferson. “I’m sorry… A what?”

“An unbirthday, surely you’ve heard of it before!”

“I have not,” Mary Ann confessed.

“Neither have I,” Jefferson admitted, sharing the fact with a wave of his hand. “But lets just think about this for a moment. You have one day in the year that’s your birthday, correct?”

“That’s right…”

“So that means the other 364 must be UNbirthdays… wouldn’t you agree?”

“I…. I suppose that makes sense…”

Jefferson stood up on his chair and held up his teacup, as if proposing a toast. “Mary Ann, I would like to share…. Today is my unbirthday!”

She laughed and followed his lead, also standing on her chair. “My dear Jefferson, today is my unbirthday as well!” They reached over the table and clinked their glasses together before Jefferson suddenly broke into song.

“AAAAAAAA very merry unbirthday, to me-”

“To who?” Mary Ann asked, joining in.

“To me!” Jefferson exclaimed. He paused. “I think that would make a splendid song, don’t you?”

Mary Ann laughed and hopped off her chair. “I think it would be a perfect song!”

Jefferson joined her on the ground and took her into his arms. “Mary Ann,” he whispered.

“Hmmm?” Mary Ann lifted her blue eyes to meet his gaze.

“Mary Ann, I’m afraid I’m quite mad….”

Mary Ann smiled. “Well I must confess, Jefferson, that you are indeed certainly mad… In fact, I don’t think I’ve met anyone madder!”

Jefferson’s eyes saddened. “I was afraid of that,” he muttered, letting her go. “Mad people aren’t accepted in high society…. Society worthy of someone like you.”

Mary Ann felt her heart break as she watched him slump in his chair in defeat. “Maybe… but if someone with a good title welcomes this mad person, the rest will receive him as well… And, let me say that I happen to have a good title,” she walked to him and lifted his chin with her hand. “And one more thing….”

“What’s that?”

“I believe I am just as mad as you!” She whispered.

Jefferson straightened. “Really?” She nodded and he leaned forward to kiss her.

“Now,” Mary Ann started, walking back towards her seat. “Let’s continue celebrating this unbirthday, shall we?”

Jefferson heartily agreed.

 

“Why don’t you come over tonight for dinner? You can meet my parents…” Mary Ann offered, one bright afternoon. She knew she couldn’t hide Jefferson from her family forever, and rumors were definitely starting to spread throughout the town. Besides, she felt as if her parents would accept the news better if it came from her own lips. Her feelings for Jefferson have developed past fondness and likeness, and were now fast approaching love.

Jefferson’s ambidextrous hands stopped sewing and he stared at her with wide eyes. “Meet… your… parents?”

She laughed. “Come now, they aren’t that bad! They raised me, did they not?”

“No! That’s not what I meant… but I mean… look at me!”

“Lets see…” She walked over to where he was sitting and tapped her index finger against her chin. “I see a hard working man who makes excellent hats, and has a kind and creative personality. Now what’s wrong with that?”

Jefferson shook his head. “But my nose!”

“Your nose is the perfect size!”

“And my teeth-” Jefferson argued.

“I wouldn’t want them any other way!” Mary Ann interrupted.

 “My title! I’m nothing but a poor milliner!” Jefferson pulled his fingers through his unruly hair. “Oh, Ann… surely you must see the difference!”

Mary Ann couldn’t help but smile. “What did you call me?” She asked softly.

Jefferson looked up. “Pardon?”

“You called me Ann,” she said, a pleased expression softening her face.

“Oh… sorry,” Jefferson mumbled, obviously embarrassed. “I-I guess it just slipped out.”

“No… I like it! No one has called me that before…” She came up to him and circled her arms loosely around his neck. “And I don’t care about status!”

Jefferson searched her eyes- Oh, those pure, blue eyes- and slowly whispered, “But your parents… how do they feel about titles and such.”

Mary Ann bit her lip and broke his gaze.

“Tell me the truth,” he added.

“Well….” Mary Ann started with slight hesitation in her innocent voice. “It doesn’t matter what they think. I like you and they will too.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek, causing Jefferson to blush and turn back to continue sewing. She couldn’t help but hope and pray this was true. They loved her enough to be supportive of her and Jefferson, no matter what his position in society was, right?  She would like to believe herself, but events from Mary Ann’s past belied this fantasy. She sighed. Tonight would be interesting indeed.

 

 

“Would you set an extra place setting for dinner tonight, Carson?” Mary Ann asked that night, hesitantly.

Carson, the family butler, nodded. “Certainly, Miss Mary Ann.” He lingered around for a few moments to see if she would explain herself, and reveal the mystery guest, but she stayed silent. Once he left to fulfill her bidding, Mary Ann let out a shaky breath. “Now for the harder part,” she whispered to herself. She clasped her hands together and slowly walked to her parent’s office, feeling impending doom weighing heavily on her shoulders. Clenching one hand, she let it hover over the wooden surface of their door, took a deep breath, and finally gathered enough courage to knock.

“Come in,” flitted her mother’s singsong voice.

Mary Ann put her shaking hands over her stomach and entered. Her parents both looked up from their paperwork.

“What is it, Mary Ann?” Mrs. McCallen, her mother, asked.

“I… I just thought I would let you know I have invited someone for dinner tonight…” She whispered nervously.

“Oh?” her mother asked, with obvious pleasure showing.

“A…. a man…” she added.

“And his name?” Mr. McCallen asked.

“Jefferson… Jefferson Theophilus.”

Her mother’s head cocked as she tried to place the name with every man she knew. “Theophilus… Theophilus… I don’t think I know a Jefferson Theophilus… Do you, dear?” She turned to her husband.

Mr. McCallen, however, did not break his gaze from Mary Ann’s eyes. He seemed to know something was going on… Something neither of them would like. “Who is that, Mary Ann?” he questioned her, raising his bushy eyebrows.

“I didn’t think either of you would know him…”

“Well, don’t be silly! I know every person in this town!” Her mother interrupted with obvious pride in her voice. “That is… everyone who is worth knowing….”

“Well that’s the thing,” Mary Ann interjected with a small voice. “His title… well… it is not as important…”

“Oh?” Her mother repeated, her voice dropping with displeasure.

“He is a milliner…” A dead silence followed, the only sound coming from her mother’s pen clattering to the floor.

“Oh!” Mrs. McCallen squeaked, trying to cover her surprise. “Surely you mean Mr. Sharp from Sharp’s and Davis’s!”

Mary Ann cringed at the name, having painful recollections from her past. Andrew Sharp, his father being a duke, was the only haberdasher or salesman her mother would civilly intermingle with.

Mary Ann shook her had. “No…. I meant Jefferson Theophilus… he works at 10 Shillings and a Sixpence… around the block…”

Now an even thicker silence followed, save the large book that slipped from her father’s fingers. “A milliner! A hatter?” Mr. McCallen asked, completely in shock.

“And at our house!” her mother added, her face turning red.

“But…” Mary Ann stuttered.

“You don’t think I haven’t heard of that shop? That man is mad…. Mad I say! And I will not have a mad hatter is this house!” Mrs. McCallen fumed.

Mary Ann held back her tears as best as she could and waited until she could defend herself and Jefferson. But all the reasons of why his title shouldn’t matter melted from her mind and she could only blurt, “But I love him!” She watched as her parents’ mouths dropped in shock.

“Out… Now!” her mother breathed, her voice quivering with anger. Mary Ann knew that her mother only spoke quietly when she was too furious to yell, and this was dangerous. So Mary Ann hurried out of the office, feeling as if her whole world was going to crumble and fall apart.

 

Jefferson tapped his foot nervously as he watched the second hand move to twelve. Five o’clock. He switched the sign from ‘open’ to ‘closed’ and ran to his house. He frantically combed out his hair (not that it did much good), and replenished his working gloves to a new, fresh pair. He switched his shirt, an identical top to the one he was just wearing, and buttoned it. He realized with slight regret that he starched it a bit too much, but he hoped no one would notice. Next he slipped on his favorite vest; a light blue, silk one with floral embroidery on it. He also had a matching bowtie, which he slipped under his shirt collar, remembering to tie it this time. He pulled out of his closet his dressiest article of clothing…. A bright orange coat. Feeling that it complimented the rest of the outfit nicely, he was ready to go. He started down the street and was just passing his small shop when a thought raced through his scattered mind. A milliner certainly should not go to an important dinner without a hat himself! He unlocked his humble store and began browsing the many options. It wouldn’t be to keep, just to borrow, of course. His eyes fell upon the prize of his shop, the large, green top hat Mary Ann liked so much. He noticed with delight that the blue sash around it happened to perfectly match his vest and bowtie. He lovingly lifted it off the shelf and crowned himself, before heading to Mary Ann’s house.

He stopped at the gate that opened to the long driveway, winding up to Mary Ann’s mansion. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs.-” he paused his practicing to imaginary parents when he realized with horror he did not even know the names of those in Mary Ann’s family. Now, with his stomach in knots and his breaths short and trembling, he advanced the house.

 

            Mary Ann ran blindly towards the door and wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks. Ignoring Carson’s frantic questions, she fled outside and ran straight into none other than Jefferson Theophilus. “Jefferson!” she murmured in relief as she collapsed into his arms.

            Poor Jefferson knew nothing of what was going on and could only pat her back awkwardly, trying to comfort her. When she had regained her senses, she broke away. “Lets go!” She whispered.

            “What?” He asked, completely bewildered.

            “Lets go! Let’s get out of here and just go!”

            “Where?”

            “It doesn’t matter… to your shop… to the lake… anywhere!”

            Jefferson cupped her face and stared straight into her eyes. “What happened?” he asked, running his gloved thumbs over her cheeks to dry them.

            Mary Ann took a shaky breath before repeating her parents’ reactions to a low class hatter coming to dinner. She watched as Jefferson’s brow furrowed and even saw him take off his hat to run his fingers through his wild, white hair. His hat, she noticed with a smile, was the green felt one she admired so much. “They said all that?” Jefferson asked, looking disheartened.

            Mary Ann swallowed and nodded. “Yes… I’m so sorry…”

            Jefferson turned around and started walking back towards the front gate, his shoulders slumped forward, and rubbing the back of his neck. Mary Ann ran to catch up with him, knowing she would follow him to wherever he was headed and would remain silent until he was ready to talk. Then, something changed. Jefferson stopped so suddenly, Mary Ann almost ran into him. He stood up straight and tugged the hat back over his head. When he turned around, his emerald eyes had become certain and firm, the ambiguousness gone, and he set his jaw. “I’ve been looking forward to this dinner for these past few hours…” He lifted her chin so she was looking up at him and swept a few strands of her brunette hair off her face. “Keep your head held high, hmm? And lets prove them wrong!” 

            Mary Ann grinned and stretched up on her tippy toes to quickly brush her own lips against his, then they walked back into the mansion together, hand in hand.

 

Introductions were a bit awkward; while Mr. McCallen did his best to show some civility, Mary Ann’s mother was as politely rude as possible. Jefferson refused to take his hat off and hang it up, which drew questioning glances from the members of their humble dinner party. Finally they were all seated for dinner; Mr. McCallen on one head of the table and his wife on the other, with Jefferson and Mary Ann on opposite sides. Everything was going as well as Mary Ann could ever dream, until the main course came out.

“So…” Mrs. McCallen started. “Mr. Theophilus-”

“Oh please! Call me Jefferson!” Jefferson grinned at her.

Mary Ann’s mother gave him a cold glare. “Mr. Theophilus… please tell me about your work.”

“Well…. I… I am a hatter,” Jefferson stuttered, recovering from her aloofness.

“Are you now?” She asked feigning surprise. “You are in the same business as… umm… what’s his name? Oh that’s right! Mr. Sharp.” She smirked as she saw Jefferson slightly flinch at the name.

“I… I guess you could say we have the same trade…”

“Sharp’s and Davis’s is a favorite of ours… Isn’t that right Mary Ann?” Mrs. McCallen asked, turning towards her daughter.

“Mother, stop….” Mary Ann whispered.

“Tell us about your shop, Jefferson!” Mr. McCallen offered, trying his best to avoid tense situations.

Jefferson looked relieved. “Oh! Well it is called 10 Shillings and a Sixpence… Mainly because everything in there costs exactly that amount-”

“What a foolish thing!” Mrs. McCallen cried with laughter. Jefferson reverted his gaze to his plate, so she continued. “You cannot expect to get as good income with a price like that. Of course, discounts are always a nice thing to do. Andrew Sharp always gives us a discount whenever we walk into his shop. Has Mary Ann told you she used to court Andrew?”

“Mother!” Mary Ann snapped, her face turning red.

Jefferson’s eyes widened as he looked up. Seeing she had his full attention, Mrs. McCallen continued. “Oh yes… he was quite infatuated with her…. And I believe Mary Ann felt the same way. He loved her so much; he let us take hats from his shop for free! It was quite a nice gesture wouldn’t you agree?”

“Now, dear-” Mr. McCallen began, but his wife cut him off.

“Yes, they loved each other very much…. So much in fact, I was sure they would wed! Usually I would be appalled with a workingman marrying my daughter, but he has such a successful business and well, as you probably know, his father is a duke. ‘No,’ I told myself, ‘I can’t be too upset with such a perfect arrangement!’”

Mary Ann supported her forehead with her hand, feeling more humiliated than she ever had in her life. “Mother, please,” she moaned. By this time, Jefferson was also hanging his head, finding his fork extremely interesting.

“Yes, I was sure they would wed, but something came up with Andrew’s family, and they had to separate… However, I am certain they will get back together, sometime. Hopefully soon… ”

Jefferson abruptly pushed back his chair and walked out of the room and into the back garden.

“Well,” Mrs. McCallen said as she put one more bite of meat into her mouth, “I guess it is time to adjourn, wouldn’t you agree?”

Mary Ann also stood up, throwing her napkin onto her placemat, enraged. “You had no right, mother! None! How could you?” She followed Jefferson outside, her eyes filling with tears.

 

Mary Ann caught up with Jefferson, who was frantically pulling his gloved hands through his hair, his enormous hat flung the ground. She picked it up and gently brushed the dirt off the top. “Jefferson?”

He turned around sharply with a wild look in his eyes. “Who am I fooling, Mary Ann? She’s right… I don’t deserve you! I have no title, I have no money… The only thing I will do is smirch you and your family’s reputation!”

Mary Ann staggered back a little, surprised at his outburst and feeling, for the first time, fear. “But I don’t care about any of that!” she pleaded. “I care about you!”

“But you should care about that, you should! These are tough times, Ann! Tough times…. It’s not common to marry for love, don’t be a burden to your parents…”

“Jefferson, please-” Mary Ann whispered. It pained her to see him grow more and more out of control.

“Go find someone better… someone worthy of you, if that’s even possible. Your parents seem to like Andrew Sharp…. Find someone like him. He would be a fool not to fall in love you!”

“Jefferson!” She dropped the beloved hat to the ground and cupped his face. Almost instantly the madness drained from his eyes, and instead he looked weary and exhausted.

“She’s right, my love, you must know that,” he whispered.

Mary Ann shook her head. “No… No, she is far from right… how can you believe her poisonous words?” Jefferson sighed and looked crushed. “Listen to me,” Mary Ann continued. “I love you. Maybe you don’t have a good title, or a drop of royal blood in your veins. Maybe you don’t have a penny to you name, but you must understand I do not care about any of that!”

“How can you expect me to support you, Ann, to support us? With my meager income, you will have a wretched future.”

Mary Ann gave a small smile. “Must you think me so shallow, Jefferson? My future will only be wretched if you are not living it day by day with me.”

By this point Jefferson had just about run out of excuses. “But… but your parents…”

“Don’t worry about my parents! They’ll grow to love you!” She encircled her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “Don’t leave me…” She whispered, tears streaking her cheeks.

Jefferson kissed the top of her head. “I won’t…” He promised her. After a few moments, Mary Ann broke away and retrieved his hat from the ground.

“Are you ready?” She asked, placing it on his head.

He quickly kissed her nose. “Ready as I’ll ever be!” He gave her a reassuring smile, one with confidence that did not match his shaking spirit, and they slowly walked back into the house.

Mary Ann led Jefferson back inside, both a bit shaken, but ready to stand up for their love. Mr. and Mrs. McCallen were sitting in the parlor, sipping their tea. Mr. McCallen looked quite angry at his wife’s behavior, and Mrs. McCallen winced when she saw them return. She was obviously hoping to scare Jefferson off. Mary Ann made eye contact with her parents, getting a sympathetic look from one and a cold glare from the other. She squeezed Jefferson’s hand, somehow hoping to transfer confidence into him. He clutched it back, a bit too tightly perhaps. They sat down as a few servants passed out drinks and deserts. The tension in the room was extremely uncomfortable and everyone felt it.

“Jefferson!” Mr. McCallen suddenly said, “What a… magnificent hat!”

Jefferson used his free hand to fondly stroke it. “Thank you, sir.”

“You do know there’s a price tag still on it…” Mrs. McCallen quipped.

He nodded. “Yes, madam. I kept it on because it is not necessarily mine…. I’m only borrowing it from my shop for this special occasion. It is still for sale if you wish to buy it!” Jefferson said, looking hopeful as he turned to Mr. McCallen.

“Oh… well that’s quite alright, Jefferson. It looks much better on you than it would on me,” Mr. McCallen replied quickly. Jefferson was too flattered to be offended in anyway.

“Pray tell, why is the top so large? You must know a man’s head is not that large… it’s absolutely ridiculous!” Mrs. McCallen exclaimed.

“It’s the style… mother…” Mary Ann snapped, agitation lining her voice.

“The most ridiculous style that I have ever seen…” She muttered, mostly to herself but loud enough for Jefferson to hear.

“But it is indeed my favorite!” Mary Ann quickly added. Jefferson shot her a grateful smile.

Mr. McCallen suddenly stood up. “Jefferson, may I see you in the library?”

Jefferson face became white and he instinctively took off his hat to run his fingers through his hair. “Y-yes, sir,” he stuttered.  Mary Ann gave his hand a final squeeze before they separated and she watched him nervously shuffle towards the library.

Jefferson followed Mr. McCallen into the library, terrified and petrified, to say the least. Mr. McCallen waved his hand at an armchair, gesturing Jefferson to sit. Jefferson did, barely, scooting up to the very edge of the cushion.

“So, Jefferson,” he started, closing the door for privacy. “Where are your parents?”

“Both dead….”

“Your father… what was his title?” Mr. McCallen asked, fingering his fountain pen.

“He had none, sir.”

“Your mother?”

“No,” Jefferson replied, lowering his eyes.

“You have no noble blood in you?”

“No, sir. And I don’t have a penny to my name, save what I make selling hats.”

Mr. McCallen widened his eyes. “And you believe we would accept this? Accept you?”

“I was hoping-” Jefferson started.

“Tell me,” Mr. McCallen interrupted. “Do you love my daughter?

Jefferson’s eyes glossed over. “Yes,” he sighed.

“And do you intend to marry her?”

Jefferson felt confidence suddenly flood through his body. “Yes, sir, with your full permission.”

Mr. McCallen looked down and fiddled with the corner of his desk. “Then you have it.”

Jefferson jumped out of his chair, dumbfounded. “Do you mean it?”

Mr. McCallen let out a hearty laugh and offered his hand for Jefferson to shake. “I do indeed, sir. You have my permission to wed my daughter.”

“Thank you… thank you very much!” Jefferson laughed, mostly out of relief, and felt all of the anxiety of the night seep out of him. Now, Jefferson felt as if he could touch the moon. He took Mr. McCallen’s hand and shook it hard and fast. “You are so gracious, sir. So magnanimous! You raised an amazing daughter.”

“Actually,” Mr. McCallen said, prying his hand away from Jefferson’s grip. “I did not raise her, I am her stepfather.” He chuckled at Jefferson’s surprised look and patted him on the back. “Now that,” he said, leading him out of the library. “Is a story for another time. And one more thing?” Jefferson looked up. “I would prefer if you did not announce my consent yet. I think Mrs. McCallen would rather hear it from my own voice.”

“Of course,” Jefferson nodded. He returned to the parlor, trying to control his exuberance. He sat quietly next to Mary Ann, attempting to conceal the smile that was slowly creeping up his lips. Mary Ann glanced at him. “What did he say?” she whispered.

Jefferson became solemn again. “Nothing, really…” Mary Ann sent him a suspicious look, but let him be. Mr. McCallen sat next to his wife, but said nothing on the matter as well. The silence thickened, so the sound of Jefferson stirring his tea with a knife resounded throughout the room.

Mary Ann turned to him. “What are you doing?” She hissed.

Jefferson, with a stupid grin on his face, took his knife out of his teacup and sipped the beverage as if nothing happened. He pulled out his pocket watch. “Good heavens!” He cried. “My watch is two days slow!”

Mary Ann’s eyes widened. “How is that possible?”

“Can’t do much with a mad watch… Except fix it of course!”

“Jefferson,” Mary Ann muttered, leaning closer to him. “Maybe its time for you to go home.” Her parents have yet to see his mad episodes, as she dubbed them, and did not want them to witness it yet.

“Perhaps you’re right…” Jefferson whispered back. He stood up quickly, so abruptly it caused all of the participants in the room to jump, and bowed. “I must bid you adieu,” he shouted dramatically.

Mr. McCallen, trying to recover from the sudden strangeness his future son-in-law exhibited, coughed a bit. “Mary Ann, why don’t you walk Jefferson to the front gate…”

Mary Ann smiled. “Of course.” They walked out and once they were as far away from the house while still being on the McCallen property, Mary Ann turned to Jefferson. “What did my father say?” She asked nervously.

Jefferson grinned down at her. “Today was a good day, my love! Oh, Ann! Your father gave permission for us to wed!”

Mary Ann’s jaw dropped and she was stunned for a second. “Do not tease me! Did he really?”

Jefferson nodded and pressed his lips against hers, too happy to express himself in words. Mary Ann pulled away and smiled up at him. “I love you,” she whispered.

Jefferson shook his head. “You must know… my feelings have passed love… Adoration fills my soul and I greatly esteem you… You are in my highest regards. Oh, Mary Ann! You are an incredible woman and just gazing upon you makes my heart happy.”

Mary Ann blushed and had no idea what to say. “Jefferson…” she murmured, at a loss of words.

Jefferson kissed her hand and silently slipped away, ecstasy filling his being. “Goodnight, my love…” he whispered, before disappearing in the darkness.

 

Mrs. McCallen shot a glance at her husband later that night in the privacy of their drawing room. “Mary Ann…. Our Mary Ann with a poor, lowly hatter!”

Her husband shrugged. “I am not too fond of it either, my dear…” This was her second husband and fairly new, the first died of a terrible sickness. “But I don’t think there’s much we can do about it now-”

Mrs. McCallen waved her hand and cut him off. “Of course there’s something we can do about it… My youngest daughter could never quite be controlled, that’s why I sent her away to boarding school…. But Mary Ann…. I was certain Mary Ann had a good head on her shoulders.”

“She does! She has shown me she does,” Mr. McCallen protested. He looked up nervously at his wife and added, “Which is why I gave Jefferson my consent for their marriage.” The silent thickened in the room and Mr. McCallen cringed inwardly as he waited for his wife’s reaction.

“You did what?” She spat.

“I believe that they truly love each other…. Which will break all barriers of class and wealth… wouldn’t you agree?”

“No! I would not agree!” Mrs. McCallen was furious now. “You had no right! No right whatsoever to interfere and meddle in family business-” She stopped, her face relaxing and instead revealed a look Mr. McCallen knew all too well.

“Now, my dear, don’t become too involved… I do not believe it will be wise…” he cautioned.

“Nonsense! Mary Ann just needs to recognize how absolutely absurd she is being…. How absolutely ridiculous…” Her eyes became thoughtful and Mr. McCallen knew the gears in her mind were turning. She scurried out of the room and her exasperated husband could hardly imagine the schemes she had up her sleeves.

 

“We have a guest coming for dinner tonight,” Mrs. McCallen announced a few days later.

Mary Ann lifted her critical blue eyes from her needlework. “I love him… You cannot take that from me… I will not change!”

“Oh, don’t be so selfish!” Her mother snapped. “You think everything is about you! And you are willing to shame your family, just for the notion of love?” Mary Ann lowered her head, but defiance still shone in her eyes. “Well, this dinner has nothing to do with you. Your father-”

“Stepfather,” Mary Ann cut in. She loved Mr. McCallen, but her real father still occupied a special place in her heart. Plus, she knew exactly all the right words to say to frustrate her mother.

Mrs. McCallen’s hands shook with anger, but her voice continued in a steady tone. “Your stepfather is going to be making a business deal… With Andrew Sharp.”

Mary Ann bolted up, her needlework falling to the ground. “The co-owner of ‘Sharp’s and Davis’s’? The hat shop?”

A cruel smile stretched her mother’s thin lips. “Of course, Mary Ann. We only know one Andrew Sharp, if you recall.”

Mary Ann boldly let her eyes lock with her mother’s. “I’m not going,” she said simply. “I hate him and his shop. I will be going to Jefferson’s for dinner-” She was stopped short when her mother slapped her across the face.

“Shut your mouth, you foolish girl! You will do no such thing. In fact, you are not allowed to leave this house! You are a shame to the family and need to learn your place!”

Mary Ann lifted her trembling hands and caressed the place where her mother struck her. Tears burned in her eyes, but she refused to let them show. “You will not win,” she whispered. “I. Love. Him.” She whipped around and stormed up the marble staircase to her room, tears spilling over unto her stinging cheek once her back was turned away from Mrs. McCallen.

 

Mary Ann knew Jefferson would be wondering where she was today, since she was prohibited to leave her house…. The only escape would be to climb out from her window, which seemed suicidal and yet very appealing. She realized today there was no way for her to get to his shop for teatime… or the rest of the day for that matter. She sat down at her desk and quickly scribbled a few lines for Jefferson- “My dear love,” it read, “My mother is in quite a…” her pen sopped its movement as Mary Ann searched for the right word. “quite an irrational state of mind. If you come here, wondering about my absence, please understand my heart yearns to be with you, but I am unable due to the physical means of the walls that keep me imprisoned. Yours Truly, Mary Ann.” She wrapped the note in a small piece of ribbon and sprayed her everyday perfume on it, a trick she learned in one of her favorite romance novels. She threw the note out of her window and let it rest on the grass, exactly where Jefferson stood when he visited her during that midnight call. With this completed, Mary Ann went back downstairs to keep her mind off of Jefferson’s green eyes that will look betrayed and hurt when she does not walk through his shop doors today.

Mrs. McCallen walked through her garden with the fool of a gardener who kept planting white roses. “I despise white roses,” she snapped, plucking off an ivory blossom and crushing it in her hands. Something caught her eye; a small, rolled up piece of paper. “What’s this?” she asked herself, stooping down to collect it. She untied the ribbon and let it flutter to the floor before unfurling the note. As she read, her anger grew and boiled over. “What an idiot! What a foolish-” then she stopped herself. Maybe this could be the final piece she needed to complete her scheme. Stuffing the letter in her handbag, she scurried back inside to write a letter of her own, her roses forgotten.

 

A few hours later, Mrs. McCallen handed a note to Carson. “Be sure this arrives to 10 Shillings and a Sixpence as soon as possible. Am I clear?”

Carson looked down at the letter in confusion. “Jefferson Theophilus’s shop?”

“That’s the one… Oh, and Carson? Tell no one of this…”

Carson nodded and left to do his mistress’ biddings. Mrs. McCallen smiled to herself and walked away, thinking of how good it felt when things were going her way.

 

Jefferson watched in confusion as a letter was slipped under his door. “What’s this?” He opened it and instantly recognized Mary Ann’s handwriting. “My dearest Jefferson,” it read. “I would love to see you as soon as possible. My mother is accepting the news quite well, actually, and she would like to have dinner with you tonight. I have some news to tell you, so please join us. Yours Truly, Mary Ann.” Jefferson smiled at this. Things were working out! Excitedly, he slipped on the same outfit he wore to their house the night before, forgetting he already dressed in it, and scurried out of the door. He could only imagine blue skies and sunshine for his and Mary Ann’s future.

 

The doorbell rung and Carson opened it to discover Andrew Sharp waiting on the other side. “Hello,” Andrew said, brushing past Carson. The butler sighed; he never liked Andrew… Mrs. McCallen scurried down the stairs and embraced Sharp.

“Oh, Andrew! It’s been too long, hasn’t it?”

Andrew laughed and kissed her hand. “Yes, indeed it has….” He looked around. “Is Mary Ann nearby?”

“She’s upstairs….” Mrs. McCallen brought her head closer to Andrew’s and whispered, “You understand the plan?”

Andrew’s lips lifted in a cold smile. “Perfectly.” Mrs. McCallen called Mary Ann down.

“What is it mother?” She asked from upstairs.

“Andrew Sharp is here, my love.”

Mary Ann walked down with a smile on her face, but her eyes shone with bitterness and anger. “Good evening, Mr. Sharp.”

“Good evening, Mary Ann…” Ever since they stopped courting each other a few years ago, things have been extremely tense between the two. So one could imagine the awkward silence that followed.

“Well!” Mrs. McCallen suddenly blurted. “Mr. McCallen is still doing some work up in his office… Mary Ann, why don’t you show Andrew around our garden…. We’ve made a few changes, you know,” she directed the last part towards Andrew.

Mary Ann shook her head. “I’m not sure-” but her mother cut her off.

“Go, now.” This simple statement left no room for an argument, so Mary Ann obliged.

Mary Ann led Andrew outside and they strolled through the fields, a bit awkwardly. After a few minutes, they came across a bench. “Why don’t we sit…” Andrew suggested, gesturing towards the seat. Mary Ann shrugged her shoulders and sat next to him, making sure there was ample space between the two of them. Little did she know, this particular bench could be seen through one particular window in their house…. And this window, Andrew watched, waiting for the sign Mrs. McCallen was going to give him.

 

The doorbell rang again, and now Carson was extremely confused. He opened it to see Jefferson Theophilus this time, holding a withered bouquet of roses.

“Mr. Theophilus!” The butler exclaimed in surprise.

Jefferson awkwardly bowed. “Hello… uh… Carson…. Is Mary Ann here?” He stopped when he saw Mrs. McCallen appear.

“Ah, Jefferson!” She greeted him. Although, Jefferson noticed something did not seem right about her…. She seemed troubled. She welcomed him inside and led him to their drawing room, explaining she had news to share.

 

Andrew glanced once more at the window to see Mrs. McCallen there. She nodded, and Andrew knew it was time. “Mary Ann!” He said suddenly, grabbing her hands.

Mary Ann, utterly shocked, looked up at him. “Let me go, Mr. Sharp!” She muttered.

“Mary Ann, I must confess something to you! I know things didn’t work out between us before, but I regret all of that now.”

“Andrew! What are you doing? I have my love, his name is Jefferson Theophilus. And he is ten times a better man than you are!” She spat.

 

“What would you like to tell me, Mrs. McCallen?” Jefferson asked, once they reached the drawing room.

Mary Ann’s mother hesitated, biting her lip. “Mary Ann… Mary Ann was supposed to tell you, but she lost her courage…”

Fear began rising in Jefferson’s heart. “Pardon?”

“Mary Ann… would like to break off the wedding, all ties with you, everything…. It’s over, Jefferson… I’m so sorry.”

Jefferson’s eyes began to well up in tears. “I don’t believe you!”

“See for yourself,” Mrs. McCalled said, gesturing for him to look out the window. He did, and out in the distance he saw Mary Ann sitting on a bench with Andrew Sharp…. And they were holding hands. The bench was far enough away where he couldn’t see their facial expressions, but he could see Andrew leaning in and pressing his lips against Mary Ann’s. Jefferson stumbled away from the window and sprinted out of the house, not knowing where he was going but knowing he had to get away.

 

Mary Ann felt Andrew’s breath on her face as he leaned in and eventually kissed her. At first, she didn’t pull away. Too many memories flitted through her mind and a year ago, this would’ve been natural. In fact, a year ago, her heart would’ve been so passionately in love with Andrew, she would’ve always done what he wished for… She never wanted to disappoint him. But soon, anger pushed away all the remembrances and she pulled back, disgusted. “What is wrong with you?” She cried. She watched as a hand slapped Andrew’s face, and it took her a few seconds to register it was her hand.

Andrew cupped his cheek and looked up at her, an evil grin on his face.  “It won’t last forever, Mary Ann! You will come back for me! Your Jefferson will leave and you will have nowhere to turn-” he stood up and forcefully grabbed her waist, pulling her towards him as he hissed into her ear. “Except me.” He walked away then, not even bothering to go back into the house for the business dinner. Mary Ann crumpled to the ground and sobbed, heaving and only wanting Jefferson to be there to comfort her. But he wasn’t. The sky suddenly darkened and heavy raindrops fell unto her. She stood up and ran back into the house, praying that somehow, Jefferson would come.

 

Jefferson blindly ran through the streets of London, not even knowing where he was. The rain began to beat against him and he knew he would have to find shelter. Lightning flashed dangerously near him, so he looked around for cover. A few yards away, there was a large tree, its branches providing sufficient protection from the rain. Jefferson stumbled towards it and crouched under its trunk. “Oh… Mary Ann, my love….” He whispered as he took off his drenched hat. He began to walk around the tree, muttering to himself like a mad man. Maybe he was mad, he didn’t care anymore. Suddenly his foot landed into a hole, but instead of breaking or spraining his ankle, he felt the rest of his body fall as well. And now he was plummeting down, down, down. The hole seemed to never end, and Jefferson watched the callous world that was so uncaring towards him fade out of view.

Jefferson landed on a soft patch of grass and looked around himself. Where am I? He asked himself. In all the places he had visited before (which wasn’t many but he liked pretend otherwise) he had never come across something quite like this. It looked like a garden, but a rather eerie one at that, some kind of mystery seemed to be behind every corner. And the mushrooms were gigantic! Or maybe he was just small…. Without the slightest idea of where to go, he turned to his right and walked, wondering what he was soon to find.

 

In a strange world, one very much unlike our own, a white rabbit dressed in a waistcoat scurried across a vast, never ending garden. He was looking for something, a mushroom to be exact… and not just any mushroom. He was looking for a specific one. He noticed a swirl of blue smoke off in the distance and hopped frantically towards it. “Absolum!” He cried. “Absolum! Absolum, we need you!” He peeked his head over the top of the mushroom and discovered a blue caterpillar, lounging next to his hookah machine, and looking as if he would be content to waste the day away, only blowing smoke.

“What,” the caterpillar asked, blowing a smoke ring into the rabbit’s face, “do you want?”

“A man…. A human… just arrived in Wonderland!”

“A man?” Absolum leaned closer, his interest growing.

“Yes… A peculiar man. He never says anything except a few strange words.”

            “What do you mean… What strange words?”

            The white rabbit twitched his ears. “Well he only says two things. The first: ‘more hats, more hats’… I-I think he may be a hatter.”

            “A hatter?” Absolum exclaimed.

            “Yes and that is all he does… makes dozens and dozens and dozens of hats. And when he’s not sewing, he’s having tea and frantically sketching something… But he won’t let anyone see what he’s drawing.”

            “And what else does he say?”

            The rabbit shook his head. “This is the strangest of all. He keeps saying, ‘Mary Ann’.”

            Absolum inhaled the smoke thoughtfully. “He sounds quite mad…. A mad hatter… in Wonderland?”

            “It seems so….. But he seems much more mad than other hatters….”

            “What do you mean by that?” Absolum inquired.

            “Well, I know it’s common for hatters to become insane-”

            “Because of the mercury,” the caterpillar interjected.

            “Yes, but he seems madder then the rest.”

            Absolum narrowed his eyes. “How so?”

            The rabbit shifted his feet a bit before explaining. “I’ve been up to the real world before…. many times in fact. And I’ve seen numerous men and woman suffering from this hatter’s condition.”

            “And what condition is this?”

            “A broken heart….”

 

            “Any sign of Jefferson?” Mary Ann asked as a bobby approached her. The police force had been investigating Jefferson’s disappearance for her, searching for any sign that might explain where he went.

            The bobby shook his head. “No, ma’am.”

            Mary Ann hung her head and sighed. “No, I suppose not….”

 

            The Mad Hatter poured himself yet another cup of tea as the rest of his party watched him, astounded at the amount of the beverage he had imbibed. They waited for him to say something, but he continued to sketch on the small piece of paper he worked tirelessly on. More tea… more tea… he thought to himself. A small memory seemed to be right outside of his recollection, and he tried to remember…. Oh, he tried as hard as he could. Apart of working at his trade, he knew nothing besides one name… Mary Ann. It wasn’t his own name, he had forgotten that too. Inhabitants of Wonderland had taken to calling him ‘The Mad Hatter’…. He didn’t mind so much. But that one memory… He longed to recall it. And it seemed closest to him when he was having a tea party. Then, something triggered. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” The words just tumbled out of his mouth… The Mad Hatter knew not where they came from.

            The Cheshire Cat leaned forward. “Pardon?”

            “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” the Hatter repeated. The table looked around in shock…. It was the first time he had spoken, besides mumbling Mary Ann’s name.

            “I’m not sure…” The Dormouse answered drowsily. “What’s the answer, Mad Hatter?”

            The Hatter looked down and knitted his eyebrows together; he seemed to have forgotten the answer. He gazed down at the woman’s face he was sketching…. Mary Ann’s, somehow he knew it was her. Why is a raven like a writing desk? He implored, searching the drawing with his eyes as if she could answer him. He knew the answer laid behind this woman…. Whoever she was. It had to be somewhere behind her knowing eyes. But the answer eluded him, and the woman stayed unknown to him. The members at the table looked about themselves in confusion, but let the matter drop. The Mad Hatter snapped his head up again. “Happy Unbirthday!” He cried. One step closer…. I must be one step closer to remembering…

            “A what?” The white rabbit asked.

            “An unbirthday!” The March Hare interjected. He seemed to be just as mad as the Hatter, so the two always had a splendid time together.

            “Yes, an unbirthday!” The Hatter said…. But what he was trying to uncover, what he was trying to remember, still stayed forgotten. And this drew him mad…. Completely insane. He took the cup he was drinking from and smashed it on the table. Everyone stared at him in shock, except for the March Hare, who joined his antics. Soon, the two of them were jumping up and down on the tables- shattering cups, kettles, and saucers. They also began forcing the participants of the party to move down one chair, to a clean cup. And from that day forward, the creatures of Wonderland knew to never go to a tea party that the Mad Hatter and the March Hare attended.

 

            “Stop bothering me,” The caterpillar complained when the White Rabbit came to his mushroom once again. Time in Wonderland is much different than time in the real world, but one could estimate a few years have passed.

            “But this is of the utmost importance!” The Rabbit persisted.

            Absolum leaned closer. “It better be,” he grumbled, blowing smoke into his companion’s face.

            “Have you ever gotten a good look at that drawing The Mad Hatter has in his pocket watch… the one he drew when he first arrived here?”

            “I can’t say that I have,” the caterpillar commented.

            “Well I have, and I found her!”

            “Who?”

            The Rabbit twitched his head. “The woman! The girl in his sketch. Albeit, she looks a bit different… Hatter only used lead, but he colored in her hair to make me think she would have dark locks…. But the girl I found is blonde. Plus she looks much, much younger than what Hatter drew….” The Rabbit continued to ramble until Absolum interrupted.

            “Why is this important?” He asked, blowing the letter Y towards The Rabbit.

            “Because I think if we can bring her down here, The Hatter will snap out of it. Once he sees whom I am guessing is Mary Ann, he’ll come to his senses!” The Mad Hatter was such a fun, jovial man; many of the creatures of Wonderland cared for him. They wanted to see him regain his memory back and become somewhat sane once again.

            Absolum tapped his hookah thoughtfully. “Bring her down here.”

 

            Alice opened her eyes and realized it was all a dream… She fell asleep when her sister was reading from that boring book. “Oh! You would never believe the dream I just had!” She exclaimed, interrupting her sister.

            “Alice! We are not done with you lesson!”

            But Alice shared her dream with her sister anyway. She told of shrinking potions and cookies that made you grow. She talked about caterpillars and singing flowers, rabbits that wore waistcoats, and a queen who chopped off everyone’s head. And finally she told of a Mad Hatter at a mad tea party, singing about unbirthdays, fixing mad watches, and naming off every word that started with M, although most of them were quite negative. Once she was done, her sister turned to her. “Alice, that was quite an… interesting tale. I would advise you not to share that with mother.” Alice hung her head a little and her sister sighed, remembering she was just a child. “Why don’t you go wash up for dinner.”

            Alice nodded and began leaving the tree when she stopped. “Aren’t you coming?”

            Her sister nodded. “I’ll be there in a moment.”

            Alice nodded again and continued before turning around once more. “Oh! I almost forgot. This was odd…. The White Rabbit, the one that was wearing a waistcoat, I-I think he knew you.”

            “Why would you say that?”

            “Because he kept calling me your name, Mary Ann,” Alice said before spinning around and skipping to the house.

            Mary Ann leaned against the tree trunk and sighed. Her sister could be quite a handful sometimes… But she couldn’t help but compare Alice to herself. She used to be just like that- carefree, untamed, boundless…. Not anymore. Andrew didn’t like it when she fabricated fanciful imagines. He always said a wife need to be in the present, down to earth. And his wife, especially, could not have her head in the clouds. So Mary Ann had to act normal and like an orthodox woman in order to please her husband. But just this once, she let her mind wander to Alice’s Wonderland. It seemed so familiar, but she has certainly never been there herself. No, she knew this wondrous place because of a person…. A hatter. A poor milliner she hadn’t thought of for a long time. Alice did not know about Jefferson, her family decided to keep it a secret. So Mary Ann pushed Mr. Theophilus away from her mind, but he stayed in her heart. A mad hatter in Wonderland… Unbirthdays… Mad watches… It had to be him. Mary Ann sighed and closed her eyes. She could still see his flaming, orange coat, his overly, large top hat with 10/6 written on the side. She could still see his off-focused, emerald eyes, his freckled, outrageous nose, and his buckteeth. She could see him standing on his chair, wishing her a merry unbirthday, she could see it all. Tears squeezed out her closed eyes and she hastily brushed them away. It’s been a long time since she cried over Jefferson. Hurriedly she stood up and smoothed down her skirt before walking back to the house. She stopped a few times on the way, however. Once at a field that had been the same area she and Jefferson shared an unbirthday party, and once outside her window, two stories above her, where Jefferson had thrown her that wilted flower. And finally she left her property again to visit his old shop. The sign still hung over the doorway- 10 Shillings and a Sixpence, although now it was dilapidated and completely rundown, the wood beginning to rot. She entered the shop and walked around for a bit, letting her shaking fingers run across the dusty hats on the shelves. Mary Ann walked into his workshop, that simple but wonderful workshop, where the two of them had shared so many tea parties. When her reminiscing pained her so much she couldn’t continue, she forced herself to leave and return to the house. But before she did, she reached under the counter and took his store book. She did not know why, she just wanted it. It reminded her of him. As she walked back to the house, she flipped through the pages. Miserable tears slipped down her cheeks once again when she noticed he drew a lopsided heart next to her name every time the book cataloged her purchase. Towards the end, he seemed to not care in recording customers; instead, the pages were filled with riddles, tea stains, and sketches of her. Mary Ann never knew he was so talented in drawing. She hugged the book to her chest and quickly ran to her old room before anyone could ask her where she had been. She rummaged through her drawers until she found what she was looking for, the dried flower he tossed up to her that one night. She slipped the blossom into one of the pages of the catalog book and just stared at it.

            “Mary Ann?” Alice’s innocent voice came from outside her room.

            Mary Ann quickly stuffed the book under her bed and stood up. “Yes, come in.”

            “What are you doing in your old room?” her little sister asked.

            Mary Ann shrugged. “I… I thought I left something here that I wanted to bring to Andrew’s and my new house.”

            “Well Mr. Sharp is down stairs, he’s looking for you.”

            “Alright,” Mary Ann sighed. Alice started leaving when she stopped her. “Alice, wait. I-I want to tell you a story.”

            Alice rolled her eyes. “A history story?”

            “No…. no a fictional story. A make-believe tale…. Would you like to hear it?”

            Her sister nodded eagerly. “Yes please.”

            Mary Ann gestured for Alice to sit next to her on the bed. “Well, once upon a time… In a far away land, there lived a mysterious hatter. His name was Jefferson Theophilus-”

 

The End.

Author's Note

Any and all feedback would be very much appreciated!!!!
"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." -Winston Churchill

Reviews

[misha]

I really enjoyed reading this. I lived how you took such an intriguing character and gave him an even more intriguing and heartbreaking story. Wonderful job!

[Jo Brealey]

Thank you! I really appreciate it! :)