War Will Go on Forever

A poem about heart break, war , and peace

War Will go on Forever

By Abby Lent

 

  This black heart that beats inside me is wrapped in barbed wire with bullet holes and and knife stabbed in the middle. Now all I see around me is hate not love. peace and free love are dead forever.There will always be fighting for land and power the government sias for freedom. but the people slowly dying and the soldiers dying and familys crying wont see it. Its the government fault peace and free love are dead The War Will go on For ever.

                    

             We see soldiers on the streets being kind to kids on the news but five minutes after the soldiers are killing inocent people we dont relize they only spare a few. . . lifes  are cut short for no reason boys and girls killed there told that it means something but it doesnt when the person killing doesent even feel remorse.

                            

                              The world's slowly dieing its killing itself maybe if we stopped fighting each other we would live a better life but that will never happen because the government wants our lifes to suck.

Reviews

[D.R. Wilsey Jr.]

I'm going to make one suggestion. Lose the first sentence. It is so incredibly cliche to use the whole "roses are red..." rhyme that it just sets up the reader for something humorous rather than something serious, which I believe was your intent. Truthfully, I didn't even want to read the whole piece after that first line, but I did.

Use the anger that your obviously feeling in this piece and focus your ideas. Make this piece say something. Right now it simply feels a bit scattered and incoherent. There are contradictory ideas here. It always seemed to me that a black heart feels no emotion and, therefore, cannot be broken or hurt. Yet, you speak of love and peace as if you want it to become a reality again and how you're heart has been damaged because of these cruelties.

Focus your ideas. Bring your emotions out. Tell us how you truly feel and what you truly want. Make this piece speak to your readers.