Still Iverson

I know your name

your eyes, your smile

were breathtakingly beautiful

I want to feel safe

in your arms,

was it fate?

You're beyond anyone's imagination

I long just a little glimpse of you,

I wanted to touch you,

hold you, and make you feel I don't want to let go.

This might sound cheesy,

but this one is for you

I guess the other one too

Since all of the words I stated,

were all about you.

Reviews

[JayG]

• I know your name

Really? Was that you looking in my window last night? 😆

Seriously, you, someone the reader knows nothing about, posted a letter to someone unknown, talking about things meaningful only to you. That’s a letter, not a poem.

Poetry must be emotionally meaningful to the reader as-they-read. Forget what the poem means to you. You and I become irrelevant the moment we post our work. It’s the reader, what the words suggest to them, and how those words move that reader, emotionally, that matters. But, since you provide no context, what can this mean to the reader?

Sure, when you read these words they’re deeply meaningful to you. And if the reader is the one this is addressed to, the words can be welcome. But for anyone else? It has no emotional content. And the emotion the poem evokes in the reader is what they feed on.

My point is that there’s a LOT more to poetry than telling people how you feel. It’s a field that’s been under refinement for centuries, and we’re given none of that knowledge in our school days. So acquiring it is a necessity.

Download a copy of Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. It will open your eyes to so much that you never suspected. And you can download it here:
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

The Shmoop site is also worth a visit. Log in as a student, and use the button next t the search window to select Poetry. They have lots of poems analyzed t great depth to show why and how they worked.

Sorry my news isn’t better.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/