Overthinking all the time

It’s not that I don’t believe in you, it’s just that, I’ve come to think we’re different, and any philosophy that complicit with your thoughts, makes me want to be blind, to forget you ever existed;

It’s in our nature to love while the depth lowers itself to mere mud on our shoes, not the ocean that you wished for or the pit that one cannot see the bottom of.

I’ve descended to your level, and I have not gained any insights about humanity or love, or affection. There’s not one thing that I took, or have wanted to take, that you have not inhibited me of;

I’m here now, thinking. Did I lost my mind, did I fell for a psycho, did I took myself for granted? Doesn’t matter for all happened in a nano second of love, when I saw you cross the street, and I imagined us together.

No. I’m not mad. I’m a common fellow. Loving without knowing like every stranger in Madison Avenue. I haven’t met anyone in a long while, and still I have fallen today a thousand times before bed. It’s not just the women, but every living creature I imagine myself with, talking in a café, throwing bad conversation at the wall while laughing my head off.

It's those days I cannot come out of bed, so I sit at the porch, waiting to see a dog pass by so I can reach it with a friendly pet, or scream at my friends at the pubs downstairs, or see the hobos take the trash out of the can, affected by their despair. Everything touches, as one merely stands watching the world move, I stagnate, thinking, lowering myself to nothing.

O, the times! The times I’ve been awake and feeling, and moving, and touching, and falling, whilst alive one can be truly free of boredom and take all for granted, use and be used, murder and be murdered, play and be played with, and that’s what I most love, the fact that the ball of fire will still rise when the next hour comes, and I’ll survive the uninteresting and sad part of me. I’ll make wonders happen, and I’ll see the world through different glasses.