I see him

The feeling when I see my ex in school

I never thought you'd be the one
Laughing with your friends having fun
We used to comfort each other
One day after another
I see you now
Now I asked myself; how?
How; do you fake that smile?
From your left cheek down a mile
Your eyes green and broken
These words in my heart unspoken
Tall and strong you come embraced
With a fear of facing me face to face
You questioned love
Was it sent from above?
You said it was immature
But I call it premature
And this pain I fear
Is the voice I hear
Feet away he stands
Looks like this was all planned
This is my view
Of you

Author's Note

The feeling when I see my ex in school

Reviews

[Steve]

Well done! I like how you keep your throughts together and organized.....

Lots of emotions here too!

[Charles]

Finding the honesty is a effort wrought with frustration. Some people aren't wired for the truth. Nice read.

[Maurice]

You have captured the feeling nicely in words here.

[Magdelena]

What a shame that we have to be subjected to feelings like that.. If our feeling could be like a light and be turned off with just a flip of a switch, how wonderful that would be! You brought all forth with the greatest of imagery and I applaud you on that.. great job..

Mags xx

[My Fair Lady]

Oh the heartache of still having to co-exist and be around the one that broke our heart. The pressure of getting an education is hard enough without the distraction of having to deal with the heartache on top of that too.

[PaperHearts]

Aww, this was a really relatable write. Being a teenager, I know exactly what it's like to be in such a situation, and I thought that you did a great job in capturing those feelings. Although the language that you used was simple and uncomplicated, it was evident that beneath the words themselves there were an array of mixed emotions. You had a few really magical moments in this piece, with my favourite being "And this pain I fear/Is the voice I hear". A beautiful write,
~PaperHearts

[Jonathan De Elvira]

I feel sorry for you...
hurm now I kinda thankful that I never even get any date during my high school year...
Wish you luck mate..

[KatiePie]

I liked this, its like the other poem I just reviewed from your point of view. Gorgeous piece, thank you for sharing. :)
-Cathrine

[Rory CJ Frankson]

You said it was immature
But I call it premature

I like this aspect the best in this piece, it is a neat turn around in point of view. Sigh, young love hey. In this experiment of growth and aquiring some sence of style, a grace between Love & Hate. The cherishing and being pushed away, as the realization arrives, that a long term love.

Just is not ready... to contend. The variety of social engagements. Committment is a fickle concept best left to Adults. lol

I feel this from your poem and I like the Rythme of the Rhymes, it has a good flow. Not sure about the use of [ ; ] in terms of statement. It shows a creativity in the playful part of staging. Whether it's proper English or not, lets say who cares and enjoy, the slightly bitter experience your writing of.

If the guy is sticking it to you with his buds... who's immature? Or holds the fear of true emotion... they are not ready, to own. The games aren't worth the pain. When your whole life ahead, will gain... relation, to Loves Mystery.
I liked your poem. Solid topic, youth and sometimes painful falling out.
Write On / Right On! Romon in Review. Peace and good hunting.

[Norma M Sutton]

Nicely said.