Pushing Fourty and Deeply Confused by It

  PUSHING FOURTY AND DEEPLY CONFUSED BY IT.

 

For Christmas, I bought my cat

a deluxe bottle of Catnip Bubbles,

but I couldn’t  wait to play with them

so I let him open some  presents early. 

He wasn’t that crazy about the socks

 I knitted for him

but the bubbles were a big hit.

When I told my ex boyfriend about it

 her called me, “Immature!!”

Yes �" with two exclamation points.

TWO!

 

 Listen, Mr. Maturity, just because YOU have a job

…and a driver’s license… doesn’t make me immature.

I pay my phone bill and my rent on time sometimes.

 

 And you might think I’m immature

because ONCE- I made a fort

out of sofa cushions �"

but  that’s only because I was a scared

 because you were yelling at me!

NO YELLING Exclamation point Exclamation point.

 

Just because my early morning thoughts are,

 “Exactly how big do peeps get in the microwave?”

Or , “ How mad would my landlord be if

I bought like fifty starfish,

sprayed them with silver glitter

 and hot glued them to my wall?” 

 That doesn’t make me immature.

 

You  just don’t understand me .

 AND you’re a meanie with no soul.

 

When YOU are ready to be  (air quote) mature ( with another air quote on this end)

and apologize --I will over here

 on the floor

watching  Sponge Bob

who lives in a pineapple under the sea.