She Stands

She stands on the threshold of infamy,
Another lover separates her from her fate;
She has none too less & none too many,
For no grievance does she need redress.
She blinks; his heart stares.
This picture of perfection he cannot handle.
She retracts her eyelids to their abode;
She looks at him; He starts to swirl.
Does he fall from the cliff of love?
Or does he retain his vestibular magic?
Her fate hinges upon his deed.
Stand! Stand still! She should not die.

Reviews

[Alana]

Hm. Shall I take a stab in the dark?
This is luscious, truly, that's the first word that came to mind upon reading this poem... up to the final line. My interpretation is probably going to sound silly, but I think it's a line of heartbreak, and it connects certain phrases in the poem and just... gives them lightening.
Reading this, there’s an underlying sense that something much larger is going on than simply the emotional promise conveyed within a look. A dramatic edge is annunciated through your wonderful choice of diction, but, it seems almost exaggerated… until the end. Which is where my interpretation comes in, and watch me be dead wrong, but…
In my eyes, I see this as a man warring with himself. There’s either a lack of self-esteem, a hidden darkness, or perhaps a past full of baggage and broken promises, and he does not want to subject this beautiful person to ‘die’ by his faults.
Suddenly, the sentences that seemed a bit romanticized become punctuated and intense. It’s quite the feat to accomplish, and again, I was left stunned.
Also, your words “Stand!/Stand still!” created a dual image for me: a metaphorical one of this man grounding his toes into the ‘cliff of love’, refusing to teeter, and also a sudden stiff, straight stance in real life. Connecting eyes with a beauty, being conflicted, then resolving to not pursue, all in the span of a few seconds. A lone, rigid figure, walking away.
‘Vestibular magic’ weaved a spell on me though. I just sat and contemplated it for a while. Is it another expression for maintaining balance on the cliff, or does it mould your poem even further by implying that you lose your own state of balance and die yourself should you fall for this beauty? A Romeo and Juliette scenario, all avoided in the span of a blink.
Please never, ever stop writing.

[FlawedByDesign]

You've done a great job at describing the power of the look and this is one of your shorter poems if I'm not mistaking. I am glad you do not follow a rhyme, because the words are that much more powerful.

I thought, "Does he fall from the cliff of love?" was a little weak and I did not quite understand "She should not die."
Who's the narrator yelling "Stand! Stand still!" at? I presume him, but I felt like the poem is more geared towards her, so to address him at the end seemed a little off.

[Tina Kline]

For me this poem is saying what power there is in a look, it can make all the difference in ones fate or in the direction of one's life course. Outstanding job. I really do like this.