Grenade on a rain drop

Grenade on a rain drop.

Explodes in to fragments of water,

Drenching the curious hummingbird

Painting his plumage with aqueous nectar.

 

Molecules of air are splashed

With droplets of heaven,

Orchestrating a symphony

Of synchronized staccato collisions.

 

Time is arrested in midair tango

With rain's explosive subpoena.

As its fragments float down below

Landing like a seasoned ballerina.

 

Napalm from the grenade,

An aroma of amorous delight;

An afterthought arises from the land

Blessed by the visitors of the night.

Author's Note

Napalm : Apocalypse Now, anyone?

Reviews

[Alana]

Vivid imagery, as per usual :) I like the opening lines, as it seems like such a curious phrase. For me, I personally associate grenades and explosions with the concepts of destruction. When compared to the rain, there is an incredible, almost oxymoronic consideration attached.
Rain can be everything from a gentle drizzle to a torrential downpour. When comparing a grenade to the sweeter side of rain, it seems like such a contrast: rain can be so cleansing and purifying, giving life, not ending it. But then there are hurricane rainstorms which wash out everything in sight, a true explosion of water exploding, claiming, and shaping the earth.
The image of the hummingbird seems to soften the rain-potential, I don’t see it cascading from the sky, but rather, I imagine those wide droplets splitting wherever it lands.
I really like the idea that the rain is a type of symphony. Many people buy those “Thunderstorm” CD’s, there’s something so enrapturing about the sound of the rain.
Again, you used splendid contrast in your third stanza. We’ve gone from an explosion to the landing of a ballerina. I also liked your use of the word ‘tango’ as well, to really drive the point home that the droplets are displaying some sort of natural dance.
I LOVED the line “An aroma of amorous delight”. You really touch on all the senses, the wet feeling of the hummingbird, the visuals from explosive to elegant, the sounds and the smell. I also love the idea of the smell acting as the earth’s way of an afterthought.
This is what I mean by what you see is pure, you see so much beauty in nature, it leaves me breathless.

[Fran Marie]

Napalm from the grenade,
An aroma of amorous delight;
An afterthought arises from the land
Blessed by the visitors of the night


An outstanding piece of poetry my friend so very well crafted and well thought out in vivid descriptions and rich imagery thru~out , I love the fresh scent of the rain on cement and to watch the smoky steam rising from the ground~ each raindrop; indeed a blessing to dry lands~

Superb Pen!!

[Devons]

Top-drawer. A real example of an artist exercising his love of words, skill and talent to great effect. When someone is good at something, when they really are enjoying themselves, a sparkle is evident in the results. This poem has that quality. The imagery is like first-class slow-motion photography in an exceptional nature documentary. But the descriptions here transcend anything that could be captured in images. A moment in time is given life in explosions of colour and movement that cascade consecutively like a deck of cards being shuffled by a top-notch professional dealer at a poker table. Each action and line is delivered with relish, and one can almost hear the writer chuckling with delight as the words pop into his head like fizzing lemonade. I could go on and on because this is an inspiring piece of work. The title alone is poetry in itself, and there are many lines worthy of quotation. However, I choose these, since everything seems to come together within them:
"Time is arrested in midair tango
With rain's explosive subpoena.
As its fragments float down below
Landing like a seasoned ballerina."
Brilliant work, my friend. Congratulations.

[Richard Williams]

Explosively fresh in structure, flow and imagination. Well done.

[emily joe]

I like this, a lot. It was kind of confusing. But it was really easy to read. Especially out loud. It has a nice flow, and nice use of vocab ! Excellent (:

[Adelia Alighieri]

This came off pretty confusing for me, perhaps I'm too dumb to understand good poetry. However, I like the third stanza and how elegantly 'dance' is brought in. Gooood.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

You have used many rich words here.I am a bit confused with the theme but as i always say it is perhaps cause i am not being able to be in tune with it at the moment.Perhaps i should read it again,but if i keep that aside,you know you have a way with words.I like how you are so versatile and always are trying to infuse something new into your writes.
I like Drenching the curious hummingbird
Painting his plumage with aqueous nectar.I though painting his plumage with aqueous nectar was a very elegant phrase.
When i read your words i felt as if it was all adorned with laces and ribbons.I want to say this was that beautiful.
Then there is ' synchronized staccato collisions'.Very interesting to use synchronized with staccato.How beautifully you have personified the rain drops saying landing like a seasoned ballerina...:).Oh and as i reach your last stanza i am becoming more lucid with your theme.
How raindrops could be napalm to a parched land..that familiar aroma that arises after the first showers..that scent,so earthly..so beautiful..it is perhaps a form of gratitude from the thirsty lands,to be quenched by the rain water.
Very eloquent..keep writing..

[Khaaki]

from a raindrop u've constructed an ocean of thoughts... wonderful write...

[Dinesh Sairam]

Beautiful mate. I don't know how many times I've used the word 'Beautiful' for commenting on your poems. The title by itself explain the rest, that is to say the title itself is a poem.

"Time is arrested in midair tango"

It's curious how you choose your words -- They're not connected in any way, but you connect them in one humongous imagery.

"An aroma of amorous delight;
An afterthought arises from the land"

I've never seen alliteration continue to the next line (Of course I've seen some in works by the ancient poets. I've never seen one by poets of today). And that, very well done too.. :)

"An afterthought arises from the land
Blessed by the visitors of the night."

I quite didn't understand what you were telling here. Please enlighten.

Another beautiful (See, I used it again) and elegant masterpiece. :)

Keep writing.

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Beautiful. And who thought a raindrop had so much to say? And ofcourse I had to seek the dictionary to figure out the meaning of most of the words! awesome!!!