Vivid imagery, as per usual :) I like the opening lines, as it seems like such a curious phrase. For me, I personally associate grenades and explosions with the concepts of destruction. When compared to the rain, there is an incredible, almost oxymoronic consideration attached.
Rain can be everything from a gentle drizzle to a torrential downpour. When comparing a grenade to the sweeter side of rain, it seems like such a contrast: rain can be so cleansing and purifying, giving life, not ending it. But then there are hurricane rainstorms which wash out everything in sight, a true explosion of water exploding, claiming, and shaping the earth.
The image of the hummingbird seems to soften the rain-potential, I don’t see it cascading from the sky, but rather, I imagine those wide droplets splitting wherever it lands.
I really like the idea that the rain is a type of symphony. Many people buy those “Thunderstorm” CD’s, there’s something so enrapturing about the sound of the rain.
Again, you used splendid contrast in your third stanza. We’ve gone from an explosion to the landing of a ballerina. I also liked your use of the word ‘tango’ as well, to really drive the point home that the droplets are displaying some sort of natural dance.
I LOVED the line “An aroma of amorous delight”. You really touch on all the senses, the wet feeling of the hummingbird, the visuals from explosive to elegant, the sounds and the smell. I also love the idea of the smell acting as the earth’s way of an afterthought.
This is what I mean by what you see is pure, you see so much beauty in nature, it leaves me breathless.
Each of the lines brought to mind some exceptional images and when I think of them all in order it's as if someone has captured an exceeding beautiful moment in life.
This poem is an interesting analogy in and of itself. I genuinely like the piece... the imagery is quite enchanting. I'm not sure I can appreciate the amorous nature of Napalm, but everything else stirs my imagination. Nice job.
Vivid imagery, as per usual :) I like the opening lines, as it seems like such a curious phrase. For me, I personally associate grenades and explosions with the concepts of destruction. When compared to the rain, there is an incredible, almost oxymoronic consideration attached.
Rain can be everything from a gentle drizzle to a torrential downpour. When comparing a grenade to the sweeter side of rain, it seems like such a contrast: rain can be so cleansing and purifying, giving life, not ending it. But then there are hurricane rainstorms which wash out everything in sight, a true explosion of water exploding, claiming, and shaping the earth.
The image of the hummingbird seems to soften the rain-potential, I don’t see it cascading from the sky, but rather, I imagine those wide droplets splitting wherever it lands.
I really like the idea that the rain is a type of symphony. Many people buy those “Thunderstorm” CD’s, there’s something so enrapturing about the sound of the rain.
Again, you used splendid contrast in your third stanza. We’ve gone from an explosion to the landing of a ballerina. I also liked your use of the word ‘tango’ as well, to really drive the point home that the droplets are displaying some sort of natural dance.
I LOVED the line “An aroma of amorous delight”. You really touch on all the senses, the wet feeling of the hummingbird, the visuals from explosive to elegant, the sounds and the smell. I also love the idea of the smell acting as the earth’s way of an afterthought.
This is what I mean by what you see is pure, you see so much beauty in nature, it leaves me breathless.
Linking a grenade to rain is fitting though a little odd. You've done it justice, but I feel that at times the link is taken too far; maybe a little far-fetched as in,
"Napalm from the grenade,
An aroma of amorous delight;" - the word play is nice, but linking napalm, rain and amorous delight, did not come easy to me (and it's probably just me).
what delight to witness the flash of frames you paint with each stanza~ like holographic moments translated in molecular synergy~ the collision of an aspect of violence drawn through a most tender plume of descriptive tranquility is absolutely mesmerizing~ you blend the two facets flawlessly~
Excellent use of words here!
Stunningly so!
This is played like a scene in a film it is that graphic, that is real talent my friend!
Brilliantly done!
xx
"Molecules of air are splashed
With droplets of heaven,
Orchestrating a symphony
Of synchronized staccato collisions." Were my favorite lines in this piece.
I'm completely in awe, because the more you write the more I want to read, even though it's been a little while since I've read your work your words remain as the sweetest honey on my lips and they still feel like velvet. Is there some special place that you go to when you write poems? Because the creation of works like this don't seem to happen on Earth any more. When I talk to you, you seem, normal, sweet like most guys I talk to, but when I read your work, I get captivated, addicted. I can honestly say to you that I have never in my entire life experienced writing like yours.
-Cathrine
Hello there. I'm a medical doctor by profession, in search of a better career. Right now, my only pastime seems to be navigating around the vicissitudes of life.
I'm passionate about computers and p.. more..
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