Hypnotized

Impale me with your eyes

And I'll bleed my love for you.

Hang me from your eyelash;

Let me waltz the night with you.

 

Incise me with your lips

And I'll give my heart to you.

Freeze me with your touch,

Let me heat the night for you.

 

Sedate me with your voice,

And I'll give my dreams to you

Kiss my pain away and

Let me heal your scars for you.

 

Drown me in your sorrows,

And I'll share my joys with you.

Don't wake me up tomorrow,

Let me make your wishes true.

Reviews

[FlawedByDesign]

If I'm not mistaking, you told me once that you do not like love poems or writing about romance. I think you were just pulling my leg - hehe
You express your sentiments nicely; you are a prisoner of her rapture and it shows.
I do like "Incise me with your lips"a lot, as it shows the power of her love to cut you and imbue love passion into your body.
I enjoyed the uniform rhyme with the "you", but then you just had to break the pattern in the last stanza, didnt you - lol

Nicely done.

[Sheila Kline]

Nice sentiments rather simply stated, so your message is clear with admirable rhyming - a nice combo.

[Hayley]

I never thought you would be so good at writing in this romantic theme! I have to say, though, it suits you very well.
I liked the first stanza the most because it is so original. "Impale me with your eyes
And I'll bleed my love for you.
Hang me from your eyelash;
Let me waltz the night with you."
Such lovely imagery! WELL done with this piece, Abdul!!

[LittleMadGirl]

I kinda dislike the theme, the whole romance / love subject still I love the first stanza
Also you put the poem in a good structure and it flows pretty well
good job on a subject that I think is a little overused
You avoided the use of the phrases that everyone already has used and tried to make it as unique as possible
I will now stop rambling

[.]

ahh-jeez this is a gorgeous love poem-
eyes-lips-voice-and "Drown me in your
sorrows, And I'll share my joys with you."
nice and nicer lines-this piece of poetry
reads so fluently fluid with opulent love-
Well-all i can think to say is ""Masterpiece!!!""

james:-)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a beautiful blending of two tones to emerge through the eye of sharpened love ina single color but one of many shades~ captivated by the word strings and metaphors~ here is ying and yang playing in harmony~ much enjoyed!!!~

[Cristal Bridges]

Very lovey dovey yet explicit all in one poem! Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with that at all. Very nicely written and a nice poem of l-o-v-e.

[Dinesh Sairam]

You have always incurred 'Beautiful' poems. But I never knew you could be this good with romantic poetry. And I'm proud of you (*Heck, OK, I'm jealous of you*) :P And I go with Linda, my favorite lines were

"Hang me from your eyelash;
Let me waltz the night with you."

It's so sweet how you ask 'her' (*Deiii.. Mandaya..* :P) to do something and then promise to return the love with something more sweeter, I fell for it ;) :)

I don't know who you love :P But I love this poem! (Clap your hands, this is the quote of the century :P)

Keep writing, Chido.

[Alana]

Ah... the give and take nature of romance. Your choice of diction is divine, as usual. The words create a feeling of need; the cuts caused by a lover can only be healed through them. Longing, bordering on heartbreak, with a tint of desperation all bundled in a blanket of hope. You make my insides happy with your talent :)

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I couldn't agree with Devons more. This is a beautifully wrought poem.

The third and fourth lines:

"Hang me from your eyelash;
Let me waltz the night with you."

Just excellent!

Linda Marie

[KatiePie]

Wow. *Stares at Devons's comment.*
See, you KNOW a love poem is good when Devons likes it :3
And in my opinion this was amazing, I loved reading every line of it, and it flowed so beautifully, great write