One more evening

Or, The Autumn of Life

When golden days have changed to brown,

And months have worn old autumn's cloak;

When years have strolled through grassy hearts,

What memories do they evoke?

 

When evening dawns on lawns of life,

The sun entangled in their leaves;

When days are long like empty songs;

Will you then hum these tunes we weave?

 

When manes are grayed by winds of change

And youthful laughter starts to cease;

When thoughts are hindered by the past,

Will time corrode the bonds of peace?

 

We painted rhapsodies of dreams

Like murals on the walls of time.

Will autumn spare these tapestries

And let our words forever rhyme?

 

We do not know what autumn brings;

For one more evening, let us live

And celebrate till time expires, 

And learn to cherish and forgive.  

 

Author's Note

Iambic tetrameter. My favorite foot and meter :)

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

"When days are long like empty songs;
Will you then hum these tunes we weave?"

Abruptly made me feel woebegone :(

"We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time."

Once again, Abdul's definition of beauty ;)

"We do not know what autumn brings;
For one more evening, let us live
And celebrate till time expires,
And learn to cherish and forgive"

Somehow I feel this one incomplete.. Maybe because I crave for more from the poem and it ended quickly, can't express it exactly, but nevermind.

Cupid bless you, bro :) Toda para ti? (It's Portuguese for 'What more can I say?'.. I use it often because it spells nice!)

[LOUDENCLEAR]

I usually am not too fond of rhyme, but this is an exception. It evoked that autumn feeling inside me: things are changing-getting ready to die and be reborn in spring. It always seems that once winter hits, rebirth takes forever and one has to survive the cold, bleak (if you live in Northeast), damp, chilling death. I like that last few lines that seem to say to me: we must enjoy what we have while we have it because ephemeral are the moments of bliss. I also want to thank you and show my appreciation for your thoughtful reviews of my writing; they really make an impact. I will read more. I have been so scattered and busy lately. I like this one. It really linked atmosphere/emotion well. These are just my thoughts. Everybody interprets writing differently.

[Ruth]

This is interesting love:) It really effects the reader! lol In a good way, makes them feel a sense of sadness and yet the feeling that we have to grab that metaphorical autumn of our lives and see each day with summered eyes!
Beautifully done love!
xx

[Augustus]

Hail Abdul Wordsworth!
This is as brilliant as it gets, Abdul...
If I hadn't read it on the cafe, I would have thought it had jumped right out of Palgrave's Golden Treasury...
Flawless meter, elegant rhyme, emotions conveyed with absolute clarity and stunning imagery interlaced with poignant emotions and profound wisdom...An archetype of romantic poetry...
Far too many "things of beauty" (as Keats would have said) for me to pinpoint...but I will be partial to a few lines....

"Will you then hum these tunes we weave?" was my favourite, until I came to that one stanza which is going to remain in my heart till I die...

We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time.
Will autumn spare these tapestries
And let our words forever rhyme?

It is quite hard to believe that people can be quite so talented, but then, it keeps happening in front of you all the time...It would be ridiculous to criticize this write...
100/100

[the_stoic]

i can see a poet coming of age !! every stanza has almost evoked a sigh from me ... liked the first two stanzas the most ... best of your writes ! goes into my library :)

[Awdures]

In the autumn of their days, we all have dreams about spending it with someone who means the world to us. I also love the gentleness and flow of iambic terameter, a meter that Keates used in many of his epic love poetry. You do it justice here.

I somewhat agree with Dinesh, I think that you could add another few stanzas to your story, but then again, you have left it open to learning about what may come to you in the future.

Lovely as always!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year. It is also representative of the passing of life, the advancement of the last years of our life. Funny how autumn bursts with its own shades of color: red, gold, orange, very much like the blossoming flowers of spring. Who knows? Perhaps, autumn is just the blossoming of a better time in life.

I think your poem is beautiful. I can just imagine the crisp leaves under foot, being blown by the wind, as we advance down the path of life.

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree” ~ Emily Bronte

[Charles]

Nice meter and rhyming. The self-contained thought of each stanza is appropriate for poetry of this sort but except for the similarity of thoughts from one to the next, I don't get a feel for a theme threading it's way through the poem. Nice work.

[Cassiopia Summers]

I really like this poem! (: Great job. It's goin in my fav's.