I see a rose

I see a rose of reddish hue;
Of velvet touch and sparkling gaze,
Which bathed in glittered diamond dew
Enchants me in a million ways.

But that is not her only taste
If you but see her tender stalk,
And how it narrows at her waist,
And how it helps her gracious walk.

But all her beauty seems stillborn,
For mother branch and father plant
Ensiege her with their daunting thorns
And not a wish do ever grant

Is it a crime to feel her face
That's blushing on her joyous frame?
To smell her gaze in cupid's bays
And strike in this impassioned game?

Author's Note

I've employed the Iambic tetrameter for the most part of the poem. I hope it gives the desired effect!

Reviews

[Augustus]

Oh Brilliant! Perfect flow and the iambic meter is well and truly working its magic here...:)
Beautiful imagery to begin with and the last two stanzas elevate the poem to something more that just another poem about nature...
"Is it a crime to feel her face
That's blushing on her joyous frame? "
Brilliant rhetoric here...
I also immensely enjoyed the use of the word "stillborn"...
I have nothing to critique in this one friend! Marvelous job!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I'm sure this poem is derived from cultural influences; and for the nature of the verse, I am sorry. Sadly, too many loves have been denied due to cultural or societal demands, parental demands, or more often than not a difference in socio-economic status. All of these things are but chains! I long for the day when people will refuse such chains, spread their arms wide, and just break them into a million pieces. Consequences be damned! We are born with free will, and we should choose our own destiny and not allow others to do so.

I love how you use the rose to parallel the woman's beauty, while utilizing the branch, plant, and thorns to symbolize the parents.

You can't have the beauty without the thorns, and I know the thorns are meant to protect the beauty. Still, when thorns override the beauty, the beauty needs to blossom into her own.

Linda Marie Van Tassell

[FlawedByDesign]

You seem to be a master at following meter. In fact, I think I have yet to come across a poem of yours where you let go and eclipse the boundaries set forth by the structure - hehe :)

It definitely gives the desired effect and don't mind my comment above. I really enjoy structure and form not to mention perfectly constructed rhymes such as yours.

The story is quite unique in this poem. Brings to mind a preacher's daughter living her life according to what her mommy and daddy say. Hence, why I love the line, "En-siege her with their daunting thorns".

Very nicely done my friend!

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Very demure passionate write..Keep the creative pen flowing..Sunflower/Sara

[Symplydymple]

That for sure is a masterpiece

[sayandeep kundu]

ohh.. last two stanzas are simply outstanding.. nice job again, mate..:)

[Elaine]

This is beautiful. Amazing job.