In your presence

The morning sun evaporates in your presence.
And in the day, it snows away
Small shimmering pieces of helium.

They fall at your feet
And glow a while
While you tread towards the evening.

It is then the bed of blue above you
Turns a violent green,
Before it fills with fluffy white.

The heavens cry before you sleep
And gift you their rainbows
To wear them as you may.

With a final sigh,
The horizon explodes into a sea of light
As you smile your pretty smile.

The moon arrives to share your shine
But hides itself with shame
When you cover yourself
With your quilt knitted with auroras.

The stars glimmer,
One for every lustrous strand
Of your silken auburn hair.

Dawn creaks into existence
With the first rays of the eager morning sun
Who wants to evaporate again.

Why do you say you aren't beautiful?

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think it's beautiful, your comparison of the woman to nature and how she is more beautiful than nature. What made her even more beautiful was her modesty. "Why do you say you aren't beautiful?" It reminds me of something that a man told a woman about me before. He said that the most beautiful thing about me was that I didn't know how pretty I really was.

A blush on a woman's face is as beautiful as the blush of a rose.

Linda Marie

[Elaine]

Beautiful. Instead of girls wanting to be with the hottest guy around they should always want to be with poets because who else can make them feel like the most amazing person in the entire world with a few words. (sigh) i love poetry!

[KatiePie]

"While you tread towards the evening." Was my favorite line.
I love reading your work, and this one was so beautiful and flowed patiently, but still passionately, which I loved, it's so calming and soothing, this was almost like a story.
This was.. gorgeous :)
I love it ^_^
-Cathrine

[R.S. Wilder]

Romantic!!!!!!!!!
"The moon arrives to share your shine
But hides itself with shame"
Where do you come up with stuff like this?
A beautifully expressed poem that is exquisitely unique in the use of words and imagery.

[...]

... ah ... what an amazingly beautiful and mesmerizing dedication, buddy, and so infinitely surreal ... "small, shimmering pieces of helium" ... never ever read about helium in poetry before and this is simply outstanding ... "while you tread towards the evening" ... the journey from "bed of blue" to "violent green" to "fluffy white" is captivating ... wearing rainbows gifted by heaven is as poignant as it is ravishing ... "sea of life" is a stunning image ... "share your shine" is exotic alliteration ... stars glimmering for each strand ... wow ... indeed ... she has no right to say she ain't beautiful ... what an ode ... i bet she's a diva or a goddess or at least the queen of hearts ... absolutely exquisite poetry this is ... an amazingly wonderful read ... (highest rating) ...

[Augustus]

Wonderful poem Abdul...beautiful imagery...and the last line is to die for...after a wealth of poetic beauty and magnificence comes the rhetorical question "Why do you say you aren't beautiful?" There is definitely something of the old Romantic poets in your writings, Abdul... But you cast the same romanticism in your own modern style...great write!

[TadKent]

Dude, love it. Especially how you end it out of verse, with just the one question. Imagery and personification gives it tons of life. Makes me want to see what you're seeing!

[Symplydymple]

That is a beautiful poem. whoever it is directed to must be someone special