In your presence

The morning sun evaporates in your presence.
And in the day, it snows away
Small shimmering pieces of helium.

They fall at your feet
And glow a while
While you tread towards the evening.

It is then the bed of blue above you
Turns a violent green,
Before it fills with fluffy white.

The heavens cry before you sleep
And gift you their rainbows
To wear them as you may.

With a final sigh,
The horizon explodes into a sea of light
As you smile your pretty smile.

The moon arrives to share your shine
But hides itself with shame
When you cover yourself
With your quilt knitted with auroras.

The stars glimmer,
One for every lustrous strand
Of your silken auburn hair.

Dawn creaks into existence
With the first rays of the eager morning sun
Who wants to evaporate again.

Why do you say you aren't beautiful?

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think it's beautiful, your comparison of the woman to nature and how she is more beautiful than nature. What made her even more beautiful was her modesty. "Why do you say you aren't beautiful?" It reminds me of something that a man told a woman about me before. He said that the most beautiful thing about me was that I didn't know how pretty I really was.

A blush on a woman's face is as beautiful as the blush of a rose.

Linda Marie

[JENY]

Wow wonderful…
A new dimension for assessing beauty….
Liked it sooooooooooo….much..

[Shalini Dinesh]

To a lover his girl is the most beautiful woman on earth, and your poem brings that out very well, nature compared to a woman and her beauty is well done, i liked the metaphors and the imagery behind it... fine flow of words... keep up the good work.

[Alana]

This is a gentle summer breeze to warm the heart.
I enjoy how you used the term 'morning' in the first verse, and 'evening' in the second. The sunrise and the sunset, both to compliment your imagery of sun-lit, falling snow.
"The heavens cry before you sleep/And gift you their rainbows/To wear them as you may" felt very Shakespearian to me. I like the concept of wearing a rainbow, again, it highlights the image you seem to have going for throughout the entire poem: bright and heaven-like.
Am I seeing things or is quilt bolded? Perhaps I just need to wear my glasses more often.
We start with the morning sun, and end with the morning sun, a complete circle, an infinity of celestial incandescence.
The last line... the last line definitely pulled at some heart strings. I think YOU are the beautiful one, for creating this.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

winding nature's breathtaking vines around a human woman aspect with such gentle and loving verse in beautifully painted hues~ opens the day on a scene of lush and calm possibilities through perspective~superb literary beauty in action~

[Coyote Poetry]

Such beauty and tenderness in the poem. Each set of lines strengthen the poem. I like the description and the story. Last line made this outstanding poem complete.
Coyote

[Adelia Alighieri]

I like the way you use a variety of adjectives. Very artistic. Your poem paints a perfect aura. Well written. Thanks for sharing. =)

[Jasmine]

absolutely fantastic - "It is then the bed of blue above you
Turns a violent green,
Before it fills with fluffy white." - brilliant personification and subtle display of very human emotions in something extraordinary.

"Why do you say you aren't beautiful?" - the way many a girl feels, i'm afraid. wonderful last line.

[Cassiopia Summers]

This is absolutely wonderful piece. (: It's going in my favorites.

[Awdures]

You're extremely good at writing of matters of the heart. I love the imagery and colours that you use in this poem to convey thoughts and feelings it's very effective. The sixth stanza when you break your pattern of tertiary lines is interesting. Makes me think what was behind it.

I've favourite'd this one, and added it to my library. Really appreciated you sharing the delicate and articulate poem with us. Thank you.