Working On A Broken Adage

For anyone who had to give up on their passion for the sake of a safer career

I'm working on a broken adage

With scissors bent and glue run dry;

It isn't brutal; just gentle damage

Though I can't seem to find out why.

 

No one's spoken; no one's stirred,

I've been through a life and half of work;

My hands are trembling, my eyes are blurred

And I sure can't savour my handiwork.

 

Can what's broken once again be new?

I hold my bandaged adage - see

Its tattered edge in better view;

Can this be new? No, this can't be.

 

For tuppence or so in recompense

I'll work on this with rigour

Please leave me hence, and I'll commence

To make a fist of this with vigour.

 

 

 

Reviews

[jasonguinn789]

Wow.

I really liked this poem a lot. The beginning hooked me right away and I really found myself enjoying the narration, descriptions, and general flow of this poem. Really good mate, which I could give you some technical feedback about it, but can't find any. Really good.

[Abdul Aziz]

Thanks man! Glad you enjoyed it :)

[Frieda P]

What's that quote about choose a job you love so you will never have to work a day in your life, something like that, unfortunately in many instances we can't afford to do so due to the Almighty dollar or life's circumstances. You said it so much better though. Nicely pen'd.

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you very much :)

[Frieda P]

The pleasure was mine :-)

[Epipsychologist]

I read this like it was about meaning, and trying to make cliches (old adages) original. I think that is kind of any artists job. I have a friend who assures me that none of us ever have original thoughts. My argument would be that different things (like words and symbols) have different meanings for everyone, so actually no one has ever had an unoriginal thought. I guess the hard part is taking our own understandings of things and proving them to be original and meaningful, like the "bandaged adage" you hold up in this.

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you. That, too, was one of my intentions. An adage, or a saying, need not necessarily become cliched past a certain amount of time. Ideals we used to strive for need not be discarded suddenly. We need to evolve and work on getting better all the time. Thank you for the thoughtful review!

[Angi]

There are so many of us who can understand your pain and frustration, Abdul. The mighy dollar calls and I cannot wait to get back to what I want to do after a day of slaving. Angi~

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you for getting to the crux of the matter, Angi

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

To quell one's passion out of necessity is akin to killing the dream. Unfortunately, our dreams have wings that can only fly so far. As though a bird needing rest, we must stop to rest, eat, drink, and cleanse our souls. When we lift our wings again, perhaps, we'll fly a little further and soar a little higher. One can always hope. :-)

I love the determination that you have in the last line, like that bird, always willing to fly again.

[Abdul Aziz]

Beautiful. I really think you make the most poetic comments. I still remember your review for my poem "The Roses In The Wind". Glad to have you read my little poems :)

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you. I am honored to grace your pages, hoping my spirit will spark a smile. :-)

[zainul]

Love the great rhymed poem and the message it shared.
I appreciate that you focused on adage.
The sayings of Khona,popularly known as "Khona's Bochon" still rule the farming activities in Bangladesh and some parts of India.

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you for the review :) I'll try to look up Khona. Although Bangladesh and India are so close, there's not much many of us know about each other.

[zainul]

You are most welcome.
Thanks for your interest in Khona.
Please read the content of the following link.I will some more relevant later.
http://bottala.com/on-stage/khona/

[zainul]

This link of Wikipedia may also be enlightening:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khana_(poet)

[MOON]

Great flow and insight lovely write

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you!

[Tom]

If its not broken don't fix it ! An old adage that rings true to this day and this poem needs no adjusting or tweaking !

[Abdul Aziz]

Yes, indeed! Thank you Tom

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Your rhythm is perfect throughout this poem of knowledge and wisdom.
I enjoyed it very much.

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you very much Chloe :)

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

You are welcome Abdul.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Abdul,

Wonderful poem. And I think you sum the situation up nicely in your comment to Baban's review, i.e., that ultimately whether one follows their dream depends on whether they can afford the risk. There is always risk in life and it takes a certain amount of bravery to set out in a direction that others tell you will lead to ruin. So one has to say to themselves: "Possible ruin? Okay, I'm good with that for the chance to do what I want", and then accept the fact of ruin if and when it happens. This is a measure, in some sense, of one's desire to follow their dream. Still, one always regrets the paths not taken and wonders what they would have found if they dared to travel those paths.

This was a very thought provoking poem, and it was greatly enjoyed.

Best regards,

Rick

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you very much for your valuable comments Rick! They always add to my poems. I couldn't have expressed it better myself. We must be prepared to accept risks in order to be able to follow our passions. But what's paralysing in a country like India is that these risks are not exclusive to us. We have many dependent members of family. And a failed adventure, indeed maybe reckless adventure, will bring grief to them. And it is this fear of causing grief to those we love that plays such a major role

[Rick Puetter]

I understand, Abdul. My wife is Mexican-American that this is true of her culture as well. All my best! - Rick

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you Rick