20. More Snippets

Snippets are quick, short-short stories about the unlikely romance of Ian and Chrissy.

Ian rushed to the front door and flung it open to find an irate Chrissy standing there with a bag of groceries in each arm.

“D****t, Ian!” she snapped, “Didn't you hear me ringing the bell?!”

“I was in the john, okay?” he answered as he took the bags from her.

As he headed toward the kitchen with them, she asked, “Did you stop by the library and pick up that book they're holding for me?”

He winced. “Crap! I forgot.”

“D****t, Ian! It's right on your way home from work!”

“Okay! I had a rough day today! I'll get it tomorrow.”

As he set the groceries on the counter she opened the fridge and stuck her head inside.

“D****t, Ian! Did you drink my last beer?!”

“It's behind the milk!”

As she closed the door and twisted the top off of the bottle, he said angrily, “You know, it's because of you the guys at work call me that, now!”

“Huh?” she asked as she took a swig of her beer, “Call you what?”

“D****t-Ian.”

She laughed her beer up her nose.

~*~

As Chrissy got into to bed she noticed Ian was sitting up with a concerned look on his face.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“I was just thinking about the universe,” he replied.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds. Oh no, she thought, not again! “What about it,” she asked aloud.

“Well, the universe was created in the Big Bang, right?”

“So they say.”

“And it's been expanding for the past fourteen billion years,” he continued.

“Okay.”

“Well, that means time and space have been expanding along with the rest of it, right?”

“Makes sense.”

“But... what if there's only a limited amount of space? What if the universe keeps expanding until there's no more space left and space starts to break up and fall apart?!” He looked genuinely worried.

Chrissy stared at him for several seconds and then lay back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. “Other people worry about the economy or their health or their job,” she said with a sigh, “I had to marry a guy that worries about the universe falling apart!”

~*~

Sunday afternoon and Chrissy was sitting on the sofa with her feet tucked under her reading a novel. Ian walked in with his drawing pad, set it down next to his easy chair and went out to the kitchen to pour a glass of iced tea. When he came back, he picked up the drawing pad and then started searching around for something. He looked on the chair, under the cushions, on the floor and under the chair. He started searching around the whole room, lifting newspapers and magazines and looking in the corners.

Chrissy watched him search with a touch of amusement, since she had already figured out what he was looking for. Indeed, she could see it plainly.

He finally looked at her with exasperation. “Chrissy, have you seen my 2-B drawing pencil?! I just had it!” he asked.

“Check behind your ear,” she answered.

He reached behind his ear and found his pencil. “Hey! Thanks, Bittersweet!” he exclaimed, “Now, if I can find my reading glasses I can start drawing.”

“You're wearing them.”

He felt his face. “Ha! So I am. Thanks, Babe!”

“Ian? Why are you wearing only one slipper?”

He looked down at his feet. “Hmm... I have no idea,” he shrugged, “Oh, well. The other one must be around here somewhere.”

Chrissy sighed and shook her head. “Ian, if you get Alzheimer’s when you get old, how the hell am I going to tell?!”

~*~

Chrissy pulled a bag of frozen carrots out of the freezer and dropped it into her shopping cart. She crossed it off of her list and looked around for Ian. She had sent him off to get a jar of mayonnaise and he had never returned. She shrugged and continued her shopping.

She found him when she reached the end of the aisle. He was in front of a sample table behind which stood an attractive woman in her early forties. She was handing out free samples of salsa in small paper cups.

“I'm supposed to only hand out one per customer,” she said with a friendly smile, “But I can make an exception for you.” Her eyes sparkled as she handed him another cup of salsa.

“Thanks!” he replied as he dipped a tortilla chip into the cup.

Chrissy shook her head. “Oh, for crying out loud!” she muttered under her breath as she pushed the cart up to the table.

“Have you ever been to that cute little Mexican restaurant on Evans Avenue?” the woman asked Ian, “They have the best salsa!” She barely glanced at Chrissy as she shoved a sample at her. “Would you like a third one?” the woman gushed at Ian.

“I think he's had enough, thank you very much!!” said Chrissy sternly.

The woman looked at her with mild surprise and then turned back to Ian. “Is this your daughter? She's quite the little bossy-pants, isn't she?”

“I'm his wife!!” Chrissy responded with enough acid in her voice to melt the table-top.

“Oh!... um... goodness... this is a bit awkward,” the woman said uncomfortably.

“Ya think?!!” snapped Chrissy as she grabbed Ian's arm and dragged him with her down the next aisle.

Reviews

[John Lauterbach]

These little shorts are great, other romances miss out on these relationship details. The one where Ian's losing everything hit close to home, I end up with one slipper all the time.

[Craig2591]

Glad to hear it! I got the idea for it when I found myself walking around with one slipper.

[Bella Luna]

Haha Oh Ian! So oblivious sometimes! I love the nickname! I really like the snippet chapters because it gives a fun view into their life together! Great job! This was really funny!

[Christine Mae]

"ya think?!" hehehe thats like my number one saying!

[Kaya]

Hahaha I feel like you're writing about a real couple, scenes you see in their lives... Its amazing.