19. The HoneymoonersA Chapter by Craig2591 Ian and Chrissy have a honeymoon on the cheap. Chrissy frowned as she watched Ian ignore his dinner and stare out the kitchen window.
“How's the stir-fry?” she asked.
“Hm? Real good, Babe,” he answered absently, “Delicious.”
“Liar!” she snapped, startling him, “The rice is under-cooked, the vegetables are rubbery and the beef is like leather!” She set her fork down hard. “I don't get it! I made it just like they did on the video! They make it look so easy!”
“Don't be so hard on yourself, Babe! This isn't that bad. It's definitely an improvement over the last time,” he smiled, “You're getting better.”
“Do you really think so?” Chrissy had always been a loner before she met Ian and had had no reason to learn how to cook, surviving on take-out or heating frozen or canned food instead. Now she was trying to do her part by sharing the cooking responsibilities with him. She was jealous of his cooking skills and was trying to improve her own.
“You'll get the hang of it,” he reassured her. He took a big fork full of his dinner and shoved it into his mouth. “See? Last time it was inedible.”
They ate in silence for awhile.
“One of the guys at work is having marital problems with his wife,” said Ian after awhile, “He signed them up for one of those couples retreats. You know... where they go and take classes and participate in relationship building exercises and stuff.” Chrissy gave him a suspicious look. “Unfortunately,” he continued, “ they had a big blow-up of a fight and decided to go ahead and get divorced. But he already paid for the retreat and can't get his money back now. He didn't want to see it go to waste, so--”
“Ian! You're not suggesting that we --”
“Hear me out, Babe! We can't afford a honeymoon. The retreat is held at this real nice lodge in the woods!” He jumped up and took a paper out of his back pocket and unfolded it in front of her. “Here's the brochure. See?” he pointed, “It's next to this lake. Isn't that nice? We could sit in on a couple of the sessions and then skip-out of the rest of them and just hang out at the pool or go for a walk in the woods. Or go skinny-dipping in the lake in the moonlight,” he added with a nudge of his elbow and a sly grin.
She silently stared at the brochure for a minute. He fully expected her to say 'no', so he was surprised when she finally shrugged and said, “Eh, what the hell. It might be fun. We can make fun of the other couples as they air their dirty laundry in front of everyone.”
“That's the spirit!” he said with a grin.
~ * ~
The first session that Ian and Chrissy sat in on at the couples retreat was an exercise called 'issues'. They sat in a large circle with five other couples and a 'team leader'. Their team leader was Dr. Thorenson, a tall, fatherly gentleman with greying hair and a deep, gentle voice. The object of the exercise was for each participant to mention a minor issue in their relationship and for the others to make suggestions as to how that issue might be resolved. Dr. Thorenson's job was to give the group guidance and make sure that they remained civil and didn't resort to name-calling or bickering.
As luck would have it, Dr. Thorenson called on Chrissy to lead off. At first she steadfastly refused to participate, but after some cajoling and prodding from Dr. Thorenson, she finally gave in and mentioned something that she felt was an issue. But she didn't stop there. Dr. Thorenson tried to limit her to just one issue, but she ignored him and began listing them off. Ian protested angrily and began listing off issues of his own. Dr. Thorenson was caught off guard. The session had only just begun and already it was getting out of control. He tried to intervene and was finally able to get them to temporarily stop fighting. They both sat with their arms crossed, angrily glowering at each other.
Dr. Thorenson began to speak in his soothing, baritone voice, “Now, if we could just--”
“And, he hates my motorcycle!” Chrissy interrupted.
“I've never said a word about your motorcycle!” Ian responded angrily.
“You don't have to! I know you hate it!”
“Okay! I don't like the motorcycle! But that's only because I'm concerned for your safety!”
“Oh! So you don't think I can handle a motorcycle?!”
“That's not it at all! People are just really vulnerable on those things. But I know how much it means to you, so I've never complained about it. The motorcycle is not an 'issue'!” he said, making a slashing gesture with his hand.
Dr. Thorenson tried to speak, “I think the real issue here is--”
“You stay out of this!!” Chrissy snapped at him. She turned to the other couples, who were obviously growing quite uncomfortable with the drama playing out before them. “He doesn't trust me!” she said, pointing at Ian, “He thinks I'm going to get addicted to drugs again!”
“That's not true!!” Ian practically shouted, “We've already had that argument! It's already been resolved! I know you're through with drugs for good! You've convinced me!” They glared at each other angrily for several seconds before Ian pointed at her and said, “She's afraid to commit!”
“Afraid to commit?! I married you for Christ's sake! How much more commitment do want than that?!”
“That may be so, but you're still having doubts! Admit it!!”
Dr. Thorenson raised his hand. “May I say something here?”
“NO!” Chrissy snapped at him again. She looked back at Ian. “Maybe I just..!” Then she glanced down at the floor, her look changing from one of anger to one of embarrassment. “Maybe I just can't figure out what you want with a former junky, ex-con loser like me.”
“You're not an ex-con! You were just arrested a few times.” The others looked at each other wide-eyed.
“I did three days in County!”
“That doesn't count!” he replied, “Besides, you're not the only one with a dark past!”
“Oh, right!” she said derisively, “What deep, dark secrets do you have in your past?!” She looked at the other couples but they wouldn't meet her eyes.
“Well, I was confined to a mental hospital once!”
She was clearly caught off guard by that. She stared open mouthed at him for several seconds before she replied, “Y-you were?!”
He looked down at the floor and nodded solemnly. Several chairs squeaked as the other couples squirmed uncomfortably. “I was twenty-two,” he explained, “All the responsibility of suddenly having a wife and a kid and a car payment was a little overwhelming. Not to mention it was becoming clear that my marriage was already going sour. It depressed me. I mean, it really depressed me. Sandy got worried. She talked me into going to this clinic and talking to the doctors there. They told her I was suicidal, so she had me committed! I spent three months in the place. I think I was more messed up when I came out than went I went it.”
“Why would you keep that from me?” asked Chrissy, “I told you about the time I was arrested for prostitution!” As soon as she said that she became aware of the others watching them. She looked at them with embarrassment and stammered, “I... uh... was never actually... a prostitute. I was... um... just arrested for it once. It... it's a long story.” About half of them were looking up at the ceiling while the other half looked down at the floor.
“I never meant to keep it from you, Chrissy,” he answered, “But... well, having been locked up in the looney-bin isn't something that comes up in everyday conversation.”
Dr. Thorenson interrupted. “Actually, Ian, 'looney-bin' is not a term we--”
“Do you mind?!” Chrissy barked at him. She turned to Ian. “Ian, I don't care if you were in the nut-house once!” (Dr. Thorenson sighed audibly). She grew thoughtful for a moment and then added, in an off-handed way, “Actually, I'm not all that surprised by it.”
“I knew you were going to say that!!” he shook his finger at her angrily. Dr. Thorenson opened his mouth to speak, but Chrissy shot him such an evil look that he immediately shut it again.
Ian sighed. “Chrissy, I don't care about your past anymore than you care about mine! You say you can't understand why I love you. Well, I'll tell you why. It's because you like me the way I am. I've had women try to smother me and I've had women try to change me. But not you. You're happy to just let me be me. 'Issues' and all. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful that feels.”
Chrissy glared at him for several seconds. “You're wrong!” she said sternly. Then her look softened and she added with a faint smile, “Yes I do know how wonderful that feels.”
He smiled back. He leaned toward her and took her hand in his and said, “You're the best thing to ever happen to me, Babe.”
“You're not too bad yourself,” she replied. They drew close to kiss but then remembered that they had an audience and suddenly became very self conscious. They sat upright in their chairs and began muttering awkwardly, “Okay... we're done... yeah, we're cool... yup... s'okay now... we're good... next!”
“Well!” said Dr. Thorenson a little tentatively. “I'd say we resolved a number of issues there, didn't we?”
“What's this 'we' crap.” grumbled Chrissy, “You were no help!”
Dr. Thorenson sighed. “Okaaay, then. Who would like to go next?” he continued, eager to move the discussion on to a different couple. “Amanda!” he said, pointing to a pretty young woman with long, dark curly hair, “How about you? What issue would you like to discuss?”
“Well... ” Amanda said hesitantly, “I was going to complain that Carlo never cleans the litter-box, but... somehow that just doesn't seem very important anymore.” © 2013 Craig2591
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Craig2591OHAboutI am a visual artist with no formal training in creative writing. I get stories knocking around my head and sometimes I write them down. I decided to join this site to share them with other writers .. more..Writing
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