Walking To Our Very Own Song

Walking To Our Very Own Song

behold before thee...

the glorious might of man

he, who thereto this very second

does all he can

swollen...

as a b*****d's most worsened dress

of vanity, monstrosity

and casting stress

behold before m'self

the most deepened wounds

ones that I cry,

in most sacred wombs

the times have neared us

to ours foolish end

amidst the ides of existence,

we've marked our trend

the killings and scavenging,

of no other's prey;

but ourselves we sought

to save our day

but none a thought I have of this

nor do i remember...

for every thought i've taught, dismissed...

has its own December

Alas,

as the whaling ends

at set of light

we know now the reachings

of our sight

as every rose whithers

at our feet here tonight

there rises a million

to back our fight

And we need not forget,

who we really are

sons of gods,

and of man, alike

and of whatever star

remember the human within ye

to have seen us thusfar

this god that you deny,

has healed our every scar

is calling before the coming of winter

as before our fate is due

the voice that calls yer heart with truth...

That voice...

is really you!

By;

The Black Iris, Of The Luminous Imperious

Author's Note

image courtesy of
The Sounds Within Silence

Reviews

[Satchmo's Gal]

Seriously dude WHY AREN'T YOU PUBLISHED?

[loowzerX]

the voice that calls yer heart...
That...
is really you

I like that part most. I think it flows smoothly and it has musical feel to it. A very good piece.

[Ahmad Alhour]

This poem holds many themes, to count but few, Humanity, Mysticism, Self-Acknowledgement, Self-Enjoyment!

Your poem starts by embarking on the human nature as a whole (What I call a Macro-existence) and on your side as an ignition of enlightement (Micro-existence) it takes those two elements as the playground of thought as you critique and diatribe the mentality and actions of nowadays' main-stream-ideology and how any thought you happen to acknowledge and share just come to experience its own December - its end - as soon as it becomes, barely, acknowledged!!!

And as long as the Human Thought starts to cease-to-exist, you still hold hope that it might be flourishing in some other place(s) beyond the fading Sun before you...

Next you continue to leave your traces behind you of mentioning and inviting the reader to the importance of achieving once own Self and not to stop there but enjoy it (Self-Enjoyment) and acknowledge it as one's own ultimate exsitential reference (Self-Acknowledgement.)

To me this is your magnum-opus so far, it summarizes up and wraps the essence of your unique thought and feelings in one place... A master piece... And to be frank, it needs some a tiny revision in punctuation and format... For I'm sure, when you have it done... Presto!

Keep up the great work brother.

[YouoweYoupay]

Smooth flow and rhymes. and the message you're trying to deliver is very important. I liked the parts:

as every rose whithers

at our feet here tonight

there rises a million

to back our fight



Thanks fo sharing. Keep writing.