Preface - Into My Soul

 

Preface

-

Into My Soul

 

I am all four:

1- A Jester

2- A Vagabond

3- A Romeo

4- A were-wolf

…

And somewhere deep inside me, a light is fading away. The laughter is gone, and the were-wolf is wounded. The vagabond is lost, and the Romeo, is too far away.

 

Every one calls it the darkness within, yet again, I look in… and there's no darkness, as its not the blackness of the lack of light, but evil in its many scopes. I see no evil within, only nothingness… taking over. A scent of, despair, struggling with whatever hope I still have, hope I don’t want to let go of. Hope, with no proof at all regarding the worthiness of everything and, or anything I'm fighting for, or holding on to. If the darkness they are talking about, is meant by as the lack of light, well… then I guess its getting deeper, and darker.

 

None of me can live without the other, and there's nothing any of me can do for another. One by one, I weather, in the love around, the relative safety, and the simplicity of the surroundings, which I blame them not for, I still can't find solace. None of me can. I became a center of the negativity and unhappiness around me. And we're not drowning on our own, everyone around me, has either dived in to save me, or is drowning in his own pond of existence and purpose-ness. My guilt is over those who jumped in to save me, and sank along, with all their dreams, and purity, because of me, as their son, their lover, or their friend, and have become miserable, due to my complex individuality, my search, for myself, my search for our solace, added, my own… theatre of pain.

In short, my misery, my quests, and my complexity, have not only cost me the shallow life of fake naïve fulfill-ness, and replaced that with an "Us" inside me, looking for truths, which I'm not sure they matter anymore, but also tore down every brick people around me have built to give me, Happiness, to give me the truths they have, the truths they want me to be satisfied with. To live the lives they never had, with different pavements good enough to call any of them, should I choose one, my own.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

I think this is hopelessness and many people have it today. They don't seem to have the skills to cope in the world today. This is well written just not My personal taste. Sorry
Hugs Debby

[RHEA CROSLEY]

It sound like such a desperate situation that an external source greater then any he has thus far found is all that will do. A higher power how be it or else implosion will occur into its own eternal destruction. Very good write for describing the most desperate of souls.

[Burr the Story Sorceres..]

I need a candle, a feather, Band-Aids, a bloodhound, a megaphone, and a life raft..... There. My First-Aid kit is finished!! I'm on my way, Bazo!!
^_^
You know I got your back. I may be far away but it's the sentiment that counts!! I could just ship my First-Aid Kit to you....
XD
On a more serious note, I like this introspective thing you got going. It is very niffty-neat-o and I like how you spilt yourself into pieces. My pieces are color-coded.
^_^
I heart you, dear friend. That I do. Always. I'd jump in to save you and never think twice. Don't feel bad for the people trying to help you. That kinda belittles their sacrifices. Just be glad you have friends willing to do that and try your best, for them if not for yourself. Trying your best is all any friend would ask of another.
You should use duct tape to keep your pieces together. It works. XD
*hugs!!*