Eyes

no idea what i was thinking!

 

 Eyes

 

First… were her eyes

In them were dreams…

Not denying the fact that they were great…

That they haunted my silence…

With the beautiful touch of fate!

That they, devoured me in pieces,

as so in whole!

Were like open gate…

A stairway to her soul!

So deep into the blue…

So imprisoning, it would capture you!

Vastness, as that of space…

Were of peace, and of grace…

As they would take me…

To another place.

 

Then came the spring…

With eyes that sing

The rhymes of birth…

And the joy they bring!

Upon lashes of hope…

And the lust they sting!

A moment into the heavenly peak…

And goes by like wind!

 

The third were of joy…

Grayish blue… they were like the sky…

Wide, mighty… and in times were shy!

Eyes of what's like a toy…

Made somehow with an understanding of happiness…

And of life to enjoy!

Invited me to a part of life where I stood feeling pity…

With so much feelings to destroy!

But opened to a heart of purity…

And a window to warmth!

 

The fourth… my god! The fourth!

A legacy, of immortality!

The might of sight…

And the king of terrors!

Beautiful, but fierce…

Wild, they pierce…

Deep into the soul...

Stirring all your fears!

And taking you down to tears…

Tearing you down to pieces…

with a long lost sense of nature…

a ghost of leaping death

and the warmth, of sudden breath

those were eyes I will never forget…

not that I can!

Not that I plan!

Like a tiger's arrow to the heart of a pray…

She twisted, talked, and laughed…

With her eyes she'd slay!

And tore me to fragments as I stared…

And got lost…

Battered by waves of wisdom and recognition…

She pulled me in…

Like a tiger would!

She talked with esteem…

Like a tiger should!

But her eyes spoke for themselves…

Not what the tiger could!

Author's Note

Image: David J. Nightingale © 2003-08 � all rights reserved

Reviews

[Coolchick]

They say that eyes are the window to the soul , and I think it's right . Eyes can say alot , they can scare you , love you , hold you , intrigue you . I like this part:

"She pulled me in�

Like a tiger would!

She talked with esteem�

Like a tiger should!

But her eyes spoke for themselves�

Not what the tiger could!"

[Li Li]

The fourth� my god! The fourth!

A legacy, of immortality


The legacy of immortality seen through the eyes..... that is a strong concept. Immortality is the truth of making it through the life we live. The way our soul lives on forever. This couldn't be seen through the flesh, but could very well be seen through the eyes.

The only suggestion I would give would be to remove the !'s. I think that the exclamation of the statement is well felt without them. It would get rid of that "closure" at the end of the line and make the reading more free flowing. (only a suggestion, not a critique)

I can see your vision through this. Proper use of the gift.

Love!
Li

[Miss Suicide]

It's true when they say that a person's eyes betray all. Even in those who can hide emotions, few can hide it in their eyes. Nicely written. I loved the part where you said:
"Beautiful, but fierce�

Wild, they pierce�

Deep into the soul...

Stirring all your fears!

And taking you down to tears�

Tearing you down to pieces�

with a long lost sense of nature�

a ghost of leaping death

and the warmth, of sudden breath

those were eyes I will never forget�"

[RHEA CROSLEY]

Very well written with such intensity. Definitely your writing evokes emotion.

[Burr the Story Sorceres..]

This is really beautiful. I've always thought that one's eyes could tell you a lot about that person and this poem shows that idea wonderfully. I love the words and how they flow together. Very well done.
*hugs*
^_^