Betrothed By The Name Of Agony

Betrothed By The Name Of Agony

 

 

walking down the greenfield
sunshine across the horizon
and the light... so bright
it torched the sky
the wind flirting the leaves
as humming birds fly
is such dawn is to come
then eyes shall no longer cry

untill then
sadness, here it shall lie
in this broken heart
where in the happiest hours
it seems so dark
the blackness of the lark!

my pain calls a name
a poem
a rhyme
one that rages a flame
for this hollow soul
has gone insane
looking for someone to blame
while my thoughts
devour my brain

on this piece of paper
Natalie, i write your name
in this copybook
i store my pain
i face my world
with what i gain
with what i had
with all i claim
forever more
to call your name
awaiting the birth
of a queen to proclaim
what has been
lost in this ugly game
we face this world
the way we came
for in what we had my love
there is no shame



"may your soul rest in peace
may this end your agony
for this is an oath my love
an eternal flame
forever burning,
to carry now no fame,
to lighten our paths
for us to walk our lane
my love... forever to proclaim
a queen, betrothed to pain"

by: The Black Iris, Of The Luminous Imperious

 

Reviews

[Steffi]

Moving piece. Complex. I found I had to read it more then one once to really grasp the full extent of this piece.
The flow was good. A little off balance at some points but that can be fixed with just re-arranging some sentence.
All-in-all i thought this was a really well done piece and i enjoyed reading it. :D

[Cece]

why does pain
have to be so complex
so hard to explain

everyone has to face the world
face the world with the knowledge
that gain that you receive in love

but to forever feel the pain
that you hope will soon fade
to an agony that just burns

[Joseph - Michael]

It was pretty good, but just one thing; There are too many lines breaking apart like that

Other than that, it's all still good, so no worries...

[justjenn_2u]

This is a complex poem. I read it twice. You wish upon the dawn to be beautiful as in the light. Until dawn, if it shall ever come, you lie hurting. Your mind can't take the pain so you look for a reason to feel this way. Who is at fault? What caused this? Clear questions. Natalie, left with you so much pain - I can really tell, now. She must have been very special. I feel like I wish I could be loved as Natalie was, once in this lifetime. You give love a strong definition here.

[TamerQtaish]

Hey bro...
lets see part by part starting from the title! "I loved it!"
I had to read it more than once to get it all, but we both share this pain, and we both live by it, but life wont break us, right?
A lot of people blame us for wearing black, but the truth is we carry only flags of a better color than black or any other! I told you this once before and I will say it again, your heart is pure gold, your soul made of dreams and hopes that shell fly!
You know the hell and the fires that burn your soul I share like your brother, so your words echoed into my soul like if they came from within me!

I solute you brother and friend, a perfect writing, your amaze me everyday with how much better you get...
Just remember your promise and my will in case something happens!

on another hand, thanks a lot for all your over rated comments, your the greatest
Love and respect brother,
Tamer