One Autumn Morning!

one autumn morning!

 

a moment after i took my eyes off the bolted chain...
imprisoned in my grief...
i set my sight free...
it was cold...
i was old...
gray.... like pages of that book...
telling a story not sold...
i go by the fire...
its turning mold...
no more fear...
dry my eyes...
tear by tear...
i behold a god...
among thee i stand astray...
in the wilderness of memory...
the darkness of my day...
and like clusters of horror..
memories they tend to stay...
like winds of north...
i saw her appear..
and saw her turn away...
"dont go again..."
she smiled and stumbled at a leaf...
she caught a breath... held the leaf...
and blew it away...
i caught that leaf...
i still have it...
till this day!
and linger no more in the wilderness...
but in the solitude of my pain!
good bye...
and good day...
hold thee no more dues to pay...
the day you went away...
bless thee...
and cry not for me...
we'll be together...
there will come a day!


by: The Black Iris, Of The Luminous Imperious



 

Reviews

[Joseph - Michael]

That was quite hard to read, I mean, you didn't use any of the captional letter at all. In my mind when I was reading it, it's like I'm hearing an actual mournful whispering

Anyway, it's a well written, yet it's pretty sad, but it's all still good...

[Ahmad Alhour]

After moments in silence... when i just finished those poetical lines...
I would like to say:
Bro you seemed to be fucked up in life, that you had faced many tragic problems and troubles through your murky journey in life... specialy the day that you've seperated away from your sacred love by the power of death's gale... when Natali died...
OH lord, may her soul rest in peace...

But those lines have tongues that screaming out of agonizing innocence and chanting the peotical hymns of yours...
That you will never suurender to this traffics and rocks that this fucked fate is dropping it upon your path on this plain...

Very Deep, Emotional...
Great Jop...
I Like It...

Keep up the good stuff...

[TamerQtaish]

Ok bro lets start, First your beginning started very strong, a bit too long of a line, but none the less its beautiful... And plus I can see you did this on a free style of writing, strengthen by images of what some can call is fiction you came down to tell a personal and I know a very personal part of you!
Thats always worth of gold!
So great job bro... keep it up, and I solute you

Love and respect,
Tamer