Diaries Of An Immigrant Soul, Pt.3: lost in despair

the third of the series, again... May, 2007.

[Diaries Of An Immigrant Soul, Pt.3: lost in despair]

i dont want to laugh anymore
i dont want to cry!
i dont want to love someone
just to say goodbye
i dont want to go anywhere
here i shall lie
i dont want to live
if only i can die
if i could only touch the sky
if only time would pass slowly
so that memories wont fly by

i dont want to waste another second in love
knowing that it shall not set me free
oh, hamlet...
have thee called love a levitation?
i cry thee
for Romeo has found love not
love! its supposed to help me be
yet look
what destiny has done to me
stabbed
looking not back
for i am like a tree
with my pain i set a shelter
but none endures my agony
what philosophy?
have thee set
you ask of me
to put my head down a hole
so that i could see
what?
whats to this life of misery

sailing down my course
i see the light
but waves of mighty darkness
miss-took my boat
trying to finally reach the light
the boat is flooded with death
and it may no longer float

 

what knife is this life
have thee seen what it has done to me?
father
have you seen my boat?
then tall me father...
have thee no thought?

by: The Black Iris, Of The Luminous Imperious

 

 

Author's Note

u must take into consideration that this series is among my first serious poetry!
i have only seriously started writing in the late months of 2006.
i used to write... but i never actually wrote something worth the trouble of it until then... thats when i actually started seeing the outside world again, only with different eyes...after 3 months of treatment, due to the 6th months of sever depression and several suicide attempts.
i often consider this series as my re-birth, only into a somewhat different life; as a real poet. its when i started looking for answers!
i admit i haven't been writing all my life as many of you have! i've started writing when i was 11. but the certain events you will come understand through this series (among them is the death of my beloved, which is the most influential to me of them all) triggered something in me... so as soon as i woke up from my trance, i was born again!
so basically... i started writing in November, 2006.
i still have the poems!
:P