THE FRAGMENT OF SPACE AND TIME, part 1: "Life Without You"

Short story about the unwilling passing of love.

THE FRAGMENT OF TIME AND SPACE, part 1

"Life Without You"

I stroked her hair with my palm - softly, emotionally, slowly. She trembled at my touch, turned her face towards mine and stared deeply into my eyes.

"I love you," she whispered with pain in her voice, that seemed as if it will fall apart at any given moment. She was so fragile, so breakable. Her face that used to shine with joy and happiness was worn out. The healthy red glow of her cheeks had faded and the smile that used to decorate her pretty face had disappeared. She was lying the bed exhausted from the illness, while all I could do was sit by her side helplessly day by day, night after night and watch the life fade away from her.

"I love you too," I whispered, "for ever." My words have drawn a weak smile on her face and I reached out to hold her hand. I  knew I couldn't fight the tears back for much longer. I returned the smile, but I could feel my eyes water with the sadness which had been kept in me for far too long. The lingering pain in my heart had returned, or had always been there - I don't know. We both knew that the end wasn't too far away. The end that will separate us for ever. 

"Kiss me," she pleaded, "like our first time." I knew she was saying goodbye. I leaned forward and touched her lips with mine - softly, emotionally, slowly. Just like our first kiss that we had shared on that summer night so many years ago, with the warm breeze of wind rustling through our hair. The music went quiet that night and for a few moments that seemed like eternity it was just her and me, caught in the fragment of time and space...

 

When I moved away, something had changed. Her eyes, which were alive just moments ago, didn't shine anymore - but were empty. Her hand fell out of mine and landed on the bed next to her. It had dawned on me then, that this was truly the end. The tears started streaming from my face, and in that moment I was just a heartbroken man, weeping the loss of what was once his. 

She was the first woman I had loved, the first one I had given my heart and my soul to. And now she was gone. I held her in my arms one last time and whispered into her ear, even though I knew she couldn't hear me:

"Life without you, has no meaning."

Author's Note

Please ignore the grammar problems if there are any, since English is not my first language. I am more than happy to receive any kind of critique/praise as I believe it is the best way to improve my writing and make it better.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

A very sweet story of love but a sad end though....A well crafted work....Loved the brief descriptions you have given.....The reader can feel your heart here....It was an amazing of reading this....I loved the simplicity and neatness of the story....A catchy write too....Full ratings my frnd.....

[Ana Bahor]

Thank you for reviewing my work and thank you for the nice words :)

[Frankiee]

This actually brought tears to my eyes, you are a great writer. There is now doubt about that. It is so wonderfully written, you are hooked on every word. You should be proud of this for it is such a lovely tragedy.

[Pratik]

It was simple and sweet. I guess you should have expanded the story. It could have been more emotional too. May be a conversation between them could have gave it a shot. Still, good work!

[Ana Bahor]

Thank you very much! I am actually in the progress of putting the story into a screenplay for my diploma and I will definitely make sure to look out of the things you advised ;)

[Pratik]

Hope it helps you. Diploma in creative writing?

[Ana Bahor]

I'm sure it will :) actually it's a diploma in filmmaking

[lokisdad]

I liked the story it was sad but it instantly takes you to the moment in time. Your description of the moment was perfect not too much detail to bore you and just enough to let you be able to create an image of it in your mind as if you were standing in the room watching it. As for grammar it isn't the worst I have ever seen. Seeing as English is not your native tongue I think you did really well. I speak English as a native tongue and even I make grammatical errors. Keep working at it and you will improve over time.

[Ana Bahor]

Thank you very much for these nice words! I will definitely keep up with this and post more stories very soon! :)

[lokisdad]

I love to see people put forth effort I can over look mistakes that others find to be things that should be known but I think having good grammar isn't the most important part for me its being able to get the reader to connect with your work and you have achieved that.

[Ana Bahor]

thanks again :)

[Jerryyoung1z]

This is.......wow, just wow. Such a simple story with a whole lot of detail and depth. Well written. Touching and emotional. I love it.

[Ana Bahor]

thank you very much :)

[Jerryyoung1z]

You're welcome