Dear God

Dear God

I have sinned.

I have bitten the forbidden fruit.

I have crossed the line.

I have sinned.

Dear God

I enjoyed it.

Does that make me a bad person?

I don't exactly know if I want to change.

Does that destine me to hell?

Does that change me in Your eyes?

Dear God

I love you.

And just the thought of You seeing Me in such a sickening sight,

Just makes me want to send Myself to hell.

Dear God

Why did I enjoy it?

Why do I like these feelings?

Why don't I want to let them go?

Why is my heart Refusing to listen to my mind?

Why are these thoughts in my head in the First Place?

Dear God

You knew this would happen,

Didn't you?

I want to blame you so bad.

But I know that would be wrong.

Dear God

You know whats going to happen next.

Could you just give me a clue?

A hint?

Something?

Anything?

Please God.

Dear God

I need you.

I need your guidance.

I need you to tell me Why?

Why is this happening to me?

What have I done?

I'm Sorry.

Please forgive me. 

But then i think to myself,

How can i ask for forgiveness when my mind is Already thinking of Her?

Dear God

Am I lying?

What exactly am I asking you to forgive me for?

What I did last Saturday?

Or am I asking you to forgive me for Wanting to do what i did last Saturday.

Dear God

Help me.

I Love You, Lord.

I really do.