Todays men.....Exposed!

A rant, turned story for WC standards, about the sorry state that todays men seem to be in.

What happened to the days of old, when men were men, and boys were boys? What happened to the days when honor, chivalry, and respect lived? Today, those days seem gone to me. True I am an idealist, with hopes and dreams that all people do not seriously desire to be cruel, dishonest, or disrespectful, but I’m starting to see things a little more as they are.... I say a little more because I’m still hoping, naively, that these men I see are just part of some bad dream and I will soon awake.

 

These thoughts are inspired and encouraged by men today, or should I say little boys of today. I am not talking of the few I know who are true men, but of the many others I’ve met over the last year who seem to think that their value is in their pants and the size of their dick. However, I will only mention three incidences of this strange mentality that seems to be sweeping mankind.

 

First, a man who I turned down for sex but stayed a part of my life due to a friendship and a "vision." Months after the original turn down he’s telling me how if he ever gets horny, after moving into the area, I’m always there and how I even like a certain position..... True, but...no. After I explain that I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship, be that BF/GF or friends with benefits, he drops it. Yay, no worries, all is well, heck he even seemed to agree with me. Nope! For a reason that he never fully explained, he tosses me out on my rear friendship and "vision" wise. I understand what this person SAYS is the reason, but problem is it’s all in his head and has no factual basis in reality. So why in fact did this person, less than 2 days after I tell him no way to sex or relationship, start a bunch of drama and later rumors that I was trying desperately to get in the sack with him? Maybe it’s cause he lied to me for a LONG time about the fact that he had a GF the whole time he was trying to get in my pants AND talking about moving up to where I lived and she started calling me seeking the truth. Ouh....bad situation to be in when you’re a player. The point I’m trying to make with this one is.....its NOT all about your dick!!! It’s NOT all about sex!!! Just because that’s all YOU think about isn’t what everyone else is thinking about!

 

Second, a sweet guy that I invited out to coffee once to get to know him better and see if we could be friends. We’re talking for a while about religion and racism and he suddenly starts telling me that he doesn’t do relationships and doesn’t have sex. I’m thinking o....k.... why is he telling me this? But of course I don’t ask, just blow it off as him being random and go back to the subject at hand cause it was really interesting. A few weeks later I finally realize what was going on. For some reason he thought that I invited him out to coffee at Denny’s because I had motivations other than friendship. Call me dense but I don’t see how coffee at Denny’s and talking about religion and racism add up to an interest in a relationship or sex. o.O

 

Third, another guy contacted me some time ago on My Space and he and I got to talking. Talked twice on the phone, met once at the local park with the kids, my two girls and his boy. Everything is cool, friendship wise, but then I distance myself for a while and not talk to him for over a month because I’m dealing with some BS and don’t believe in sharing negativity and talking to people about things they are not involved in. Today he texts me again, says he’s dropping his son off at his ex’s here in Tucumcari and wants to know if I wanna "get together." Am I dense or something? That to me sounds like hang out. I’ve already told him I have the girls with me 24/7 so what else could it mean? I ask, "yeah, where, when?" Not in the mood for chit chat I make it short. He responds, "I would really like to spend the night in a hotel with u." Shocked and annoyed I respond, "Um... No. Thanks for the offer but I think you’ve got the wrong idea about me and my intentions or aims. Good luck on yours. Bye." His one redemption from those actions....he left it at that and did not call me names for turning him down. He may have been thinking with his dick, but at least he was a gentleman about it.

 

Now that I have gone from worse case, to weird case, to best case of my argument, is anyone seeing where I’m coming from yet? Seriously, WTF is up with you guys? Can’t you be friends with someone w/o your true aim being to get in their pants or thinking that their true aim is to get in yours?! There’s a lot more to all of you than your dick or it’s size. You "men" are becoming like the females of the past that thought their only worth was how much a guy wanted to have sex with them. It’s pathetic. Now instead of saying this to females, we’re gonna need to start saying it to men.... work on your self-esteem and realize that you have more to offer than only what is between your legs. (I exclude 3 men from the above paragraph for they already are wonderful men who do not think with their dick, rather with their hearts, a sense of right and wrong, and most importantly honor.)

 

 

 

* After reading this now, about 2 weeks after I originally posted it, I would like to appologize for how frustrated and angry I sound in this piece.  I was frustrated and disappointed.  I realized later that the feeling of disappointment may not have come across as strongly as I was feeling thanks to various reviews, however that was my primary feeling.  Not disappointed that men would be viewing me as someone they really wanted to sleep with, I guess that should flatter me but really I don't care I just ignore them.  What I was disapointed about was how wonderful I think most men are, filled with amazing potential, but I feel they are limiting themselves to what goes on in their pants and hence suppressing all that god given beauty that they hold inside them.  That is why I am disappointed, no other reason.

Author's Note

I want input from men and women alike. This is an issue that's seriously starting to worry me.

Reviews

[Blindmikey]

If it's the problem you want revealed, look at the mentality of sudden gratification. And then look how the animalistic nature is abused and promoted so that the golden calf can shine ever brighter. Oh and how we amaze ourselves at it's polished lust. Push the button and feel the dopamine rush. But sick twisted joys somehow leave us with just the sick and twisted in the end. Until we do it again. And again. and again. Lines on the urinal we turn into an unknown master's slave. And unknown is what it likes to remain.

But the solution you've already seen. It lies in higher souls and wisdom's trees. The lesson no teacher taught you and no parent knew how, to listen to your heart and work its plow.

[John Stussy]

Well, maybe you just haven't talked to the right kind of men. Some men think with their dicks, some their brains, and most, a mixed combination of both. Keep at it, I can promise you that not all men just wanna get into your pants lol.

And hey, idealism is good, we need that in order to have a vision of how to improve the word right?

[The Archangel Gabriel]

"True I am an idealist, with hopes and dreams that all people do not seriously desire to be cruel, dishonest, or disrespectful, but I'm starting to see things a little more as they are...."

Dare to dream!

"I say a little more because I'm still hoping, naively, that these men I see are just part of some bad dream and I will soon awake."

I have run a study of my own, and I conclude that 90% of men are just total chumps. Another 9% of the remainder are probably gay. :) That's a shame because there are so many wonderful women on this planet, and good guys are such a scarce commodity. I am hoping to make the world a better place by collecting a huge harem of all the rest of the women. :) Just kidding.

"Can't you be friends with someone w/o your true aim being to get in their pants or thinking that their true aim is to get in yours?!"

Yes, one guy can do that. We needed an exception to the rule, and that is me. :)

"After reading this now, about 2 weeks after I originally posted it, I would like to appologize for how frustrated and angry I sound in this piece."

No worries. You had a lot of good points.

"What I was disapointed about was how wonderful I think most men are, filled with amazing potential, but I feel they are limiting themselves to what goes on in their pants and hence suppressing all that god given beauty that they hold inside them."

That was one of them. Unfortunately, with sex everywhere on the television, in the magazines, and on the wide screen, this occupies a lot of human energy. There really is a lot more to life.

Well penned.

-Gabe

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

Hum, I wonder about similar things. I can't speak for all men, but in my case I think it all has something to do with confusion about what the rules actually are. That is subjective, to the person. People are all different, and have different expectations of how they want to be treated. But if there was a card or cheat sheet that I could view about what the rules are for women, I'd carry it with me always! Women are all different, and I think perhaps the guys in your rant were just trying things that might have worked in the past for them.
Lying is unreasonable though, and that particular guy acted contemptuously. I do suspect that women are more complicated than we. Take multi tasking for example; I can do a lot of things fast, but I have to do them one at a time, I have to switch mentally from one thing to another. Men are basic, mostly and it's true to say that we want to sleep with as many women as possible. I think platonic love and friendship between men and woman can exist, but honestly, that's probably because of extenuating circumstances that keep the relationship non-physical. Women are very hard to understand for this man, but I always try.
I think another factor in your frustration might lie in the general disappearance of morality itself.
I lot of us did not have fathers, (me included,) to teach us about how to be men of honor, and gentlemen to women. You could say that's a cop out to blame that, and in some ways it is. While it's true that we all have to decide what kind of adults we will be, personal examples help.

[Joseph - Michael]

I'll admit that I used to be one of those guys who think with dick, always have sex in mind. But, now that I've grown up and a proud father, I don't think things like that anymore. Sure, I'll admit that I do think things every once in a while, but I don't push my lucks and I always have been careful to make sure that I don't hurt anyone, either. So, it's safe for me to say that there are several guys, who are better men than I am, are still out there somewhere, but frankly, I don't give a s**t about that, becuase I'm a straightforwarded person and I'll take the risks anyway. I know that it's always important to be safe than sorry, but if you stay that way, you'll never learn anything. We just had to take the risks to find out for sure. Sure, it's very rare that the risks are worth it, but for the rest that failed, we will learn from the mistakes. Also, what kind of life are we living in if we don't take the risks?

Anyway, I'll admit that your writing is almost all true, even though I'm a guy and I'm not hiding anything. So, your writing is all honest and well written and it's all good here...

[J]

Ha. I found this very interesting, your perspective shared by a lot of women, I feel. I've probably been all three at some point in my life (hangs my head in shame) but... in general, I totally despise people like the first and third. I think the second one was just a misunderstanding... seemed like a lovely, intelligent guy, actually... who was there for *gasp* conversation, and nothing more, haha.

But... yeah... I've always thought with my heart. I'm a cynical idealist, a total paradox, I know... and therein lies that eternal conflict... (I'm blabbing now... I'll stop)...
J

[Shadows of Sight]

After reading this, I understand why my parents put the fear of God into me!
I think that's what is at the core of this ordeal you write about.
People, both men and women lack the knowledge of right and wrong, because they no longer fear a higher powers wrath, be it while they live or after they die.
p.s. thats not the fear of churches or religions, just God :), he's the only one that matters!

Hope you find more divine people in your life!

[Forest Green]

Don't let it worry you too much...it won't change anything. Accept the fact that you are a valuable individual that anyone ought to be happy to get to know. Perhaps we're in a downswing, I don't know, but that still shouldn't change you or your expectations.

Try not to be naive with men, as they really haven't earned your trust until you've spent a considerable while with them...and that's always been the case.

But, as to the rant, you drove a spike into the heart of the issue.

Forest

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

Oooo Andrea, this was a great write/rant. At least the last guy was kind about it - didnt bother you anymore and left it at that... middle guy i just shake my head at... i am not sure how coffee at Denny's equals "let's hop into bed" - i had to laugh at that story...

Im not sure where the respect has gone - or the idea that girls and guys can just be friends without benefits... society needs to change -

great write and enjoyable to read... good luck out there...