Todays Woman.....Exposed, Part 1

My first attempt at writing what I think about some issues that many new couples face in relationships.

"I trust you but I don’t trust her."

 

Men, how many times have you heard these words uttered by your oh-so-trusting girlfriend/wife? Once, twice? Consider yourself lucky! However this article is not written to debate the validity of the above statement, but rather to discuss the honesty of it. Yep, you heard that right, honesty. Lets start by rephrasing the sentence in a way that puts it into context.

 

"I trust you to not do anything sexual, but I don’t trust her to keep her hands to herself."

 

Using plain simple logic, lets examine that statement. "I trust you to not do anything sexual." Well there we go! Case closed! If she trusts him, then what does it matter what the other woman does? Your woman trusts you to keep your dick in your pants and your hands to yourself. That should be the end of it, but nope. Our typical female is not quite done yet. Let’s keep reading...

 

"But I don’t trust her to keep her hands to herself."

 

O....k.... I ask you women, when did this other woman ever ask for your trust, let alone promise to not be a man stealer around your boyfriend/husband? Mmm...just a shot in the dark here but I’m guessing....NEVER! Therefore why are you worrying about trusting, or not trusting, someone who never asked for your trust to begin with? Oh I know! Because what you meant to say was, "I don’t believe that she will respect the fact that you are mine/taken." There, now that’s what you really meant isn’t it. Well congratulations men, you are now possessions! Lets have a round of applause for the men who were once love’s of your lives, ladies, but are now demoted to your possessions. Oh wait, I’m not done yet. Lets go back and grab our new understanding of the phrase that started all this...

 

"I trust you to keep your dick in your pants and your hands to yourself, but I don’t believe that she will respect the fact that you are mine/taken."

 

Ok women, lets play this out...

 

Your hubby walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down, wedding band in full view. A busty, blonde with blue eyes sits down next to him and starts to chat. Soon she moves her hand to his inner thigh. Ok, freeze that moment in your mind. You’re right! She ignored the fact that he’s taken, but that’s ok cause you "trust" him. Therefore, lets press play again...

 

Your hubby reaches down, takes her hand and moves it back to her own leg, gets up, says his polite nice to meet you and good byes, and walks away. Well there you have it, your trust in him proved well founded.

 

Now comes the moment of truth women. If you honestly trust your man to NOT do anything sexual if given the offer, why ask him to not hang out with so and so? Or, ladies, is it really that you don’t trust him but are too dishonest to tell him so? Hmm.... ok last question...if you honestly don’t trust your man to be faithful when given an offer of sex, WHY the hell are you with him?! What would cause you to lie to hide the fact that you don’t trust your man and/or stay with someone that you feel you couldn’t trust?! Where is your self-respect?! Gone the way of the Dodo it has.

 

All in all it boils down to this. Men, if your woman trusted you to not take so and so up on an offer of sex, she wouldn’t ask you to stop associating with them. However, if you’ve had a sexual relationship with so and so before, then yeah, sorry, you’re gonna have to keep your distance until your girlfriend/wife truly believes that you won’t go back for a little fun now and then.

 

For the women out there, be honest. You’re more likely to get him to distance himself from so and so if you tell him that you’re not sure you can trust him yet. We all know you want to trust him or you wouldn’t be with him, but if he really loves you and wants your trust he will be understanding of how you feel and take your feelings into consideration. That’s what a good guy does, and as long as you’re a good woman, that’s what you deserve. Treat him with respect and honesty, and if he doesn’t do the same for you, leave him cause you deserve better. Plain and simple.

Author's Note

The scenarios presented in this piece are quite common, though, as with people, there are exceptions to the rule.

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Ugh! Trust is so sticky these days. I've been shocked by people that I think are amazing and should be idolized. I honestly think that with all the horrible things that happen in this world, trusting someone 100% is pretty much impossible, especially when it comes to trusting someone with your heart. It is a rare person that completely respects other people and wouldn't take the chance no matter the circumstances.

I enjoyed reading this, though! This style of writing reminds me of a blog I used to write. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. :)

[['tatiz speis]]

Thank you very much for your interperetation of that one statement. It's quite true, I must admit. Fortunately, I've never had to use that on any man before; I trust my guys.

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

It was nicely written and kept my attention even though I have never really been in that scenario. I definetely can see your point and you put it into fun flavored words that keep your interest.
Love All, Mejasha

[Sara Jean]

I enjoyed reading this. It is true, if you don't trust them then why are you with them? I've been married 4 1/2 years and am a stay at home mother. My only bitching comes when he gets to go out and I'm stuck at home with the kiddos!! (rarely happens ;)

I enjoyed ....."I trust you to keep your dick in your pants and your hands to yourself, but I don't believe that she will respect the fact that you are mine/taken."

[The Archangel Gabriel]

"Now comes the moment of truth women. If you honestly trust your man to NOT do anything sexual if given the offer, why ask him to not hang out with so and so? Or, ladies, is it really that you don't trust him but are too dishonest to tell him so?"

Great line! I was already there with your phrasing, "I trust you but I don't trust her." WTF? If she trusts him and he earns it, how can you get anything out of that other than "unilateral action." He could on a bus and could be groped by anybody. Is this really a "relationship problem?" No! That is an interpersonal problem if somebody gropes, and one that is most easily forgiven and forgotten.

"All in all it boils down to this. Men, if your woman trusted you to not take so and so up on an offer of sex, she wouldn't ask you to stop associating with them." That is kind of silly. I think that both people should chose their own friends. If there are problems, they should discuss them. For example, one of the husband's male friends might try to seduce the wife over and over again. But, she might be happy just not being alone with that man.

"We all know you want to trust him or you wouldn't be with him, but if he really loves you and wants your trust he will be understanding of how you feel and take your feelings into consideration." Amen, sister! Guys are often not very senstive, but you CAN just beat them over the head with your emotions!

I loved this writing! You have some really good points about relationships and ways to work through your difficulties. I like to say that "Communication is a primary pillar of a healthy relationship." Two people should be able to discuss their issues honestly as well as their emotions.

It is often not easy to trust another person, especially if there are good reasons. For example, some people get married to somebody that once cheated upon them or who cheats on them during the course of the marriage. It is not necessary to always throw out the baby with the bathwater. Trust can and often is rebuilt over time.

You might like this article that I wrote with two popular relationship rulings. Too many people are trying to "cheat the system":

1) If you have "intimate relations" for more than three months, that is your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." There is no way around this other than just not doing it in the first place.

2) If you break up and get back together 150 times, you are then "married." I have only heard of one relationship that had more than about 30 breakups. But, if you weather the storms of 150 breakups, that is much like the storms of 50 different marriages in different lifetimes all in one.

These were meant as "formal declations," as I think that two people should chose to get married. Where the line of "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" is drawn is a very difficult question. Largely, I think that this is a matter of two people putting themselves out to the public as such. However, I could see one or both parties not declaring this much like (perhaps) Romeo and Juliette. There might be good reasons to not declare an "official relationship."

But, I wanted to make the point that there comes a time when people appear to become very "domesticated" as a "partnership" at some level. And, merely denying a relationship does not really quite satisfy (perhaps) the demands of said definition.

At any rate, I really liked this work. I might have to republish my statement about "marriages and relationships by default." I wrote it as a "nonbinding guideline," and it could be published as such once again. I kind of like your idea: "I am just publishing notice."

Perhaps, I will rewrite it in your fashion: "I am just publishing notice that if you wake up next to the same man or woman for 90 straight days, that has a lot of characteristics and COULD MORE RIGHTLY SAID to be your 'significant other' at that point."

Relationship and people are so interesting to study.

While I babble about relationships for whoever reads this, I note that "open relationships" and "cheating" seem to be very bad for relationships ALMOST ALL THE TIME. It seems that a number of people have bought into the "open relationship" on the theory that it would not cause bad feelings and damage and learned otherwise. Please be advised on this matter!

BTW, I don't know if I trust that girl in that picture you included. She just looks shady!

Thanks for the read request. This was a good one to read for me.

-Gabe

[Forest Green]

You have a good sense of common sense. That's a wonderful gift.

Also, your skill in following logic all the way through is worth developing to an even higher form of art.

Good work!

Forest

[Danielle Asher]

people are afraid to be honest with one another. they are afraid at what price the honesty comes. Many people fear, What will I loose if I tell the truth? I relate to your work so much. Reading this I feel myself falling into that place I go to when I would write something like this. good for you for sharing your honesty. It doesn't matter what style of writing it is technically. a piece like this is about the emotion and the message. I think you have a lot of great stuff to say. I enjoy reading your work.

[Lex]

That was more of a speech or lecture than a poem (no offense meant with that). It was a diffent piece but that's good, there's far too much pretention or depression written about on here.

Thanks for sharing.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I agree with the last line, very well written. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[THE BLACK SEAL]

interesting, and i thats all i have to say about that for varying reasons