Surgical Healing

i hear through my ears, yet I cannot listen

i have shut everything out, the silence destructive dissonance

pounding my ears with sound waves of pain

shocking the drum that rips it way down my cylindrical spine

they keep on talking, I was like them once

nothing to care, no one to love, But You

maybe that’s where I went wrong, but I can’t understand

this cynicism and anger building its way through my artery’s

flashing blood-like creases through my eyes

whose gaze reveals true intentions

behind the smiles of the demons that seep their way into my sleep

screaming through my teeth, hatehatehatehate

“you are nothing”, just black abyss swelling beneath my feet

choking me into a drowning tears of gushing limbs

whose practices scream “f**k” into the night

we never once cared to see the dawn rise above our heads

as lips sealed kisses upon letters of triumphant paralyzed cries

tears are useless and so is my mind

Perhaps the burn in my stomach can tell you why

my disgust rises to the top of my throat, spewing self-deprecating lashes upon the onlookers backs who laugh about their meaningless existence

So tell me you love me? wait love? That’s what we called it right? with your lips so tightly wrapped around mine.

flutter beneath the scalpels who cutccutcutcut all of you from me

pain can come and go but to have you gone is joy everlasting

Praise the God you made me forget, I didn’t mean to turn my back…but which way is home?