A Man's Lost Lover

I am just trying this website out currently. This is a quick story about a man and his love who are lost in a spooky(pardon the word) carnival after a mishap with some carnies.

              Humans seem to almost always look upon themselves in shame when in the presence of another whom they love so dearly. Ryan had no time to do this as he and Sarah sprinted down the dusty and dimly lit corridor of the Freak House.
         "Stop here for a moment" said Sarah "I think we may have lost them for the time being."
        Ryan stared at her beautiful face, which always mesmerized him even when it was covered in blood and dirt. Her hair was silky and dark with a milky caramel brown eye color, what was not to love?
         "Ryan?" Sarah said worriedly.
         "Sorry, I zoned out." Ryan mumbled. He had lost track of his thought and time when he stared at Sarah. He could hear the loud and clumsy footsteps of the Carnies in pursuit. "We need to get going and find a way out of here, like right now!" He shouted.
          Sprinting yet again, Ryan's thoughts turned to the situation at hand. The Carnies had given chase all because of his idiotic actions. He had pissed them off by cussing them out for a cheep show and now these crazies were going to kill him and Sarah. Oh how he loved Sarah, he always had this feeling that he missed her even when she was right next to him. His psychiatrist had told him it was like the attachment to a lost limb and he had to get over it. He didn't understand this, Sarah was there so how had he "lost" her?
         Suddenly, Ryan realized that Sarah was no longer with him. He turned his head, searching for the women whom he loved and realized that he was surrounded by mirrors and that one of the Carnies had entered the room with him. 
         This one was a nasty one, the worst he had seen so far. Its hair was all red, probably from blood, It's eyeball was hanging out of the socket and its makeup was cracked in several places and through it you could see the hellish look of severely burned flesh. He was completely horrified.
         The Carnie cackled loudly, an ear-splitting sound that would bring fear to the bravest of souls. It began to limp toward him, slowly and menacingly. This was the worst part of this all. What was he supposed to do? There are no exits except for the one behind the Carnie!
          The sensation was unbearable. His shriek pierced the silence between him and the Carnie. His fist struck the tight and glistening bloody skin of the Carnie. Again and again, he struck it. Even after it stopped moving, he kept striking it. 
          He felt better now. Better than he ever had. The Carnie lay dead at his feet and still he felt the sharp sting in his stomach. Looking down, he realized that the Carnie had stabbed him multiple times in the lower abdomen, his intestines hanging in strings from his open wound. He grabbed them and held them in and began to stumble out of the room.
         Losing blood fast, he had to find Sarah and make sure he could get her out of the place safely. "Sarah!" he screamed repeatedly. Finally, he gave up after he had gotten weak and began to see double. Sarah stepped out of behind the next corner. 
         She came up to him and caressed his face lightly. "I love you Ryan." Sarah said. Ryan began to fall and Sarah reached up to catch him. He fell straight through her.

Author's Note

This is my first writing on this website, and i would appreciate some feedback!

Reviews

[Erin Marie Clukey]

I saw you reviewed one of my writings so I thought maybe I should give you one, I absolutely loved this piece. The ending is my favorite of the whole thing. It really makes you think about what you mean by that and how it can be interpreted in many ways.

[shadowsexist]

Thank you so much for your time, i really loved your piece and hope to see more. I would like to start a group for young writers on here such as yourself and I. Would you like to join?

[Erin Marie Clukey]

I would absolutely love to!