Winter's Warmth

I remember the day of winter's warmth.
When summer's lonely chill had been long forgotten.
When we were both made to feel
How stone cold hearts softly soften.

I remember how often I felt
Two awkwardly shaped snowflakes
Melt over a bed of the darkest chocolate;
Covered with a touch of the softest cotton.

I remember how our insides laid there
Opposite, silent;
Watching eyes bright and vibrant.

Watching the constant process
Of silhouettes draped in satin.
Where damp sheets
Formed shapes and patterns.
From which forms
We too became moist and passionate.
Eager to learn new styles and fashions
To practice waking up in sweats and off balance.

Two very attractive attracting magnets,
Attached and matching habits.
Affirming actions with breathless panting.
Candid when asking questions unanswered;
Satisfied with answers spelled out with laughter.

Now, here, living a life left for the here after.
Now, no longer baffled by matters
That will later no longer matter.
Now, maybe just a little stifled
By actions that may affect us after.
But too enchanted and enamored
To give it second thought.

'Cause, what was can no longer be.
'Cause, what was, was the former me.
'Cause, your form has formed in me.
A form so formless.
See?
Forcing me to breathe through poetry
Just so the world would know it’s me.

For it seems, because of thee,
I can no longer be
What they've previously seen of me.

For it seemingly seems to me,
Each steamy scene with thee
Leaves me snug and cozy
With a part of me, it seems,
Only you have seen.
Sticky and serene; quick to please.

And quite pleased at how well
Each tease teases me.
At how the sweltering heat
Has suddenly begun melting
The softest parts in me.
I even felt it thaw the heart
You gave in parts to me.

Startled, I thought,

How often do we get
To become a part of our dreams?

Reviews

[Li Li]

Breath-taking. I loved this piece. The rhythm was such a compliment to the emotion. You really put forth a piece of talent. Something quite powerful. I am in awe over here. Hardly able to give the full expression of how this piece makes me feel. For once, I am choking on words.

Beautiful. Everything about it......beautiful. From the words, to the rhythm, to the format.....

Li

[Jemal]

better!

[I. Teddy Bonet]

Yo, my man, this is really one of the most amazing and well versed, floetic, and to put mildly, hot pieces that I have read in quite a while. Not even about the "Erotic"-ness of it. You made sense, sensibly flowed from verse to thought, and back again. Effortlessly and seamless. Bravo, I guess I liked your writing style, filled with style, grace, elegance and eloquence...
Peace & Blessings
Teddy

[LatoyaEvans]

This is powerful and passionate in its delivery. I love it.

[Destiny's Child]

its a cute and quiet and also shows that u are passionate.

[Jennifer Warnock]

Very moving...I think it's very well put together and thought out. You make the reader be a part of the poem...which I like. People do change...well more evolve then change. You got the point across any how. Loved it.

[Jemal]

I remember the day
Of winter's warmth.
When summer's chill
Had been long forgotten.

excellent imagery, but then

How our insides laid there
Opposite, silent;
Watching eyes bright and vibrant.

maybe its the first line of this or the last, but it gets away from the describing the day two quickly, and the image of insides lying there doesn't quite do it for me... maybe you can add another 3 lines describing the chilling warmth, before getting into the two naked people in bed...

I'd also try this
"I remember silhouettes draped in satin
damp sheets forming shapes and patterns

instead of this...
I remember the constant process
Of silhouettes draped in satin.
Where damp sheets
Formed shapes and patterns.

Just a few more thoughts...

[Christopher J Roberts]

This piece is really good. I enjoyed the underlying story behind this, of how people try and take from each other in relationships. That every moment someones interactions with you changes you in some way.

[Jemal]

I think that every has hit on the best part of this piece. Maybe you should re-work the beginning to speed it up and clean up some of the flow and feel. But heck, what do I know about poetry.

[David P. Eckert]

It's cool to watch how a relationship develops, the intertwining of lives and preferences, how the whole becomes different than the two individuals, how each person is in some way transformed, and hopefully, a richer person for it. You capture this process very well.

David

[Carla]

I love this piece. The beginning was a little slow for me, but as it moved on I got lost in it and had to read it 3 times. What a beautiful poem. Very sensual, very soft, very sweet. And the ending was fabulous! I LOVE IT!!