A Broken Heart

How do I mend a broken heart?
Shattered by sharp words spoken harsh.


A heart so fragile
And so torn apart.


A stony heart mishandled.
Turned bashful, and punctured
In all its parts.


A heart malnourished,
Void of courage, and highly unstable.
Unencouraged, and nearly disabled.


A playful heart rendered incabable
Of coping with emotions.
Hoping for every thing hopeless.
Tortured by forces spoken and unspoken.
Uncertain of everything
That was once certain.
And searching for shelter
In a place desolate and deserted.


How do I comfort a heart
So hesitant and nervous?


So cautious and removed.


A confused heart
That's learned to be more
Introverted and aloof.


Hiding far from the truth.


How do I soothe a heart
Bruised and teased?


A heart whose locks where broken
With stolen keys.


An open heart with no closure.


.......

Reviews

[Leah Simone]

Your compassion and desire to WANT to mend this heart is what makes this poem for me. Sometimes so many of us coil into ourselves when we are wounded - I know I have - and we are unreachable (end of story ) but time - patience - understanding - builds trust and then slowly SOMETIMES - that coiled injured heartache begins to unwrap itself and let you put bandages on it - but only SOMETIMES. That is what is so painful - having to accept when it won't happen no matter how hard you try. -Leah

[Jeff "jazzman"..]

I can relate to this piece, heartfelt and passionate....Excellent write!

[Yira Simone]

I think you pretty much get the gist after 51 reviews, that this is really good. lol. You expressed the pain of having a broken heart very well.-Catrina

[Lance]

This poem flows nice, bro. And you've conveyed the depth of the narrator's plight in explaining all the symptoms of a broken heart, and how he plans on mending it. A truly lyrical poem. Deep.In the second to last stanza I noticed a typo, though. I think you meant to put "were" instead of "where" . Other than that, not bad.

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

i love this piece and art, vouz boulez. nice suble rhyme and rythm. and i loved the story.
i might ditch the fought too to something else, but you know...just might be a lingo i dont know

really enjoyed this piece. would love to hear it spoken ( hint hint hint )

ilene

[Christopher S. Mcloughl..]

I thought this was very well written. Not only can a reader easily relate to this poem, but they can also travel along with it quite well. I think that the flow is universal through the whole poem, even if it is not meant to be. What really struck me about this piece is that you retained a good rhythm without forcing it down the reader's throat.

[Wicked Irish]

Wow, I know those feelings all too well. You have a brilliant way with words.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I very much like this poem at the same time that I see things that I dislike. Your ability to put words to your feeling is without question very well developed. What I don't like is that you place the burden on the reader to figure out how this poem is to be read. We have to figure out where the pauses and breaks are. That is unfortunate because the pauses and breaks ADD feeling to a poem. When I read your poem it became an exercise to figure out how you intended it to be read. That is a great disservice to such eloquent words.

Structure and punctuation would remove this burden from the reader and assure that we read it exactly as you felt it. For the most part the wording is spot on. I would have made a very few changes of wording:

I would have changed the word "fought" in line three to "wounded".

I'd have used "harshly" where you used "harsh".

I'd have broken the word "stoneyheart" into two words "stoney heart".

That's about all as far as the words. As far as structure, I think you meant it to read like this:

================================

How do I mend a broken heart,
Wounded* by words spoken harshly*.

A heart so fragile
And so torn apart.

A stony* heart mishandled,
Turned bashful and punctured
In all its parts.

A heart malnourished,
Void of courage and highly unstable,
Unencouraged and nearly disabled.

A playful heart rendered incabable
Of coping with emotions,
Hoping for everything hopeless.
Tortured by forces spoken and unspoken.
Uncertain of everything that was
Once certain, and searching for shelter
In a place desolate and deserted.

How do I comfort a heart
So hesitant and nervous,
So cautious and removed.
A confused heart that's learned
To be more introverted and aloof.
Hiding far from the truth.

How do I soothe a heart
Bruised and teased.
A heart whose locks where opened
With stolen keys.

An open heart with no closure.

================================

I can't be sure if that's how you hear this poem when you read it, but if it isn't, then that just strengthens my thought that a poem needs structure. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying this is a bad poem. Much to the contrary, it's a VERY VERY evocative and searing write. It's just that in my opinion, it can be so much more.

[Susan M. Fenn]

I pray for this heart, and hope you find a way to help it remember the happiness and to the soothe the pain. Beautiful

[Sethunya]

There is no beginning and no end to the lament. The unpunctuated phrase in a monotone, is to me one of the deepest melancholic expressions. Will this heart ever heal?

[R. MonaLeza]

I can't even express how time appropriate this piece is for me. The flow is excellent and the word choices don't filter emotions but lay them out for the reader to feel. This is a beautiful piece of work. I'm so glad I stumbled upon it! Thank you so much for these words.