001: Introduction

This was incredibly hard to write. As in, I spent >two weeks trying to come up with something for the topic Introduction.

You ask the typical questions to delve beneath the mask,

Stripping away the façade with each question you ask.

And I do the same.

 

It happens every time and place when we first meet,

Regardless of color, creed, race; it’s still in repeat:

The strip-away game.

 

But, it only lasts that one time, the beginning of it all,

And when finally nothing is left of the mask to maul

We can finally claim:

 

This is the end of the introduction.

Author's Note

Yes, I know it's short. Don't harp on that point please. All other criticism welcome.

Reviews

[reca-becca]

i think that was wonderful! i personaly feel that the first writting is always the best chioce. and i also feel that if your going to write a book of origonal poems, go with what you feel not with what other people think is good or bad. I hope that is inspiering to you because what is a poem if it is about anyone elses feelings and not yours?! i mean, its okay to write a poem on someone elses feelings. unless the person is telling you what to write. that isn't your poem. it's theirs. My opinion is that go with what you feel. don't worry about the wording,
don't worry about the grammar,
don't worry about the spelling!
go with your heart! do what you want1 that is what poetry's all about! isn't it?! it's the human voice! it's your voice! it's my voice1 poetry is yours. it's your own work. your own style. that is why i basicly ignore reviews that tell me things like spelling and grammar and wording. I do my own thing1 I go my own way! And i thik that's what other people should think about while writting poetry. that its not about anyone else right now. its all about you! let yourself shine! call it your own. and remember:
poetry is the human voice.
love,
reca-becca
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo!

[MellyBURSTOFbayum]

I LIKE IT :)
Iunno how to review it.
but
I LIKE IT :)

[Wicahpi]

Sometimes the introduction itself is the hardest part.
I believe that you did a wonderful job capturing those first moments.
Marvelous description.

[JohnL]

The shortness is not a problem. Look at the number of people that put simple Haiku on the caff. Tey don't come much shorter than that. And it is only an introduction after all. Which begs the question, "To what". I await the body of the work with interest.

I do however want to draw your attention to a few points elsewhere. I have read several of your works and am surprisedat the amount of rhetorical questioning you seem to do. Perhaps a bit too much. It's alright drawing people's minds into thinking about problems, but I think the poet's job is often to give answers, not simply to ask questions. You also seem to labour the point in one or two pieces, i.e. the one about going home in the rain and pulling up the hood went a bit over the top as did the one about fire and heat. The writer should grab attention very early then move on through the subject and come to a resolution.
I think your work needs more direction - more action within the story line - to get somewhere rather than to develop a theme slowly and doggedly. Move it along. there also seems to be a reticence which results in you trying to 'speak from behind cover' i.e. the hood etc. Come out as a personality in your writing.

You are probably saying "He's got a cheek!" but I am reviewing subjectively, that is, as it strikes me. I also try to be honest but never unkind. There is some good work in there but I believe you have to express it with more clarity and let your own personality shine through a lot more.
JohnL