Guardian and Charge

Please critique.

He is my guardian.

 

I do not know

Why he chose me

But one day

He was here.

 

I do not see him

Except in my dreams

When his heavenly light

Illuminates his beauty.

 

He is my golden angel.

Wheaten locks, azure eyes,

Beauty so sharp it hurts.

To look at his soul is to burn.

 

But I have been blessed.

He watches over me:

His voice echoes in my ears;

His advice rules my thoughts.

 

I listen to his words

And they guide my actions

And shield me from the

Cruel destructive power of this world.

 

He is my gift form God.

I do not deserve him,

But he is mine nonetheless

And I love him.

 

She is my charge.

 

I am assigned

To the young and pure

Of heart, mind.

She is that.

 

She is never alone

I am with her always

But I only come at night

When my beauty is weakest.

 

She is my innocent girl.

Amaranth lips, diaphanous skin,

Beauty so sweet it throbs.

To look at her soul is to ache.

 

She has been blessed.

My Master orders me

And I direct her

And she obeys in prayer.

 

She heads my words

And they guide her actions

And shield her from the

Cruel destructive power of this world.

 

She is the blessed of God.

She does not deserve me,

But I am hers nonetheless

And He loves her.

Author's Note

First part is POV a human, second part is POV an angel

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Somehow I feel the angel is more vital to your poem, that there's more emotion, spiritual passion in that second part. Whatever, whichever, the poem moves smoothly from the first to second part.

You've created a painting, one I've seen hanging in an italian gallery.. a painting with brightness and an aura of credence.

I really look forward to reading more of your work, and, I will. Thank you till then. :-)

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your winning poem

[Wildecat]

This is a wonderful poem, a definite pleasure to read such fine poetry.

[Alex R.]

The second part seems a little strained or something. it doesn't soudn like the other part. i like the poem though.

[Orahemae December]

great poem. i liked how you gave both parts to the story. nice job.

[nightmask]

kool :)