A Servicewoman�s Unrequited Love

Autobiographical.

You walk in the room

and I have to leave.

My knell of doom

is your loud voice.

 

You don’t notice me

but I notice you.

I wish we could be

but we never will.

 

It hurts sometimes

when you think,

“She one of the guys”

when I’m really not.

 

But other times I’m glad

‘cause you think of me.

Even if it’s kinda sad

for me to love you so much.

 

Unrequited love hurts

but you will never know.

Even if someone blurts

out how cute I look today.

 

I’m just a friend

so now I’m gonna leave.

You’ll know, in the end,

when they drape my coffin.

 

Maybe it won’t be

for years and years.

Maybe the end for me

is tomorrow.

 

The flag they put there

will hide me from you.

And finally, I won’t care

that to you,

I’m just “one of the guys.”

 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think. Critique is most welcome!

Reviews

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your winning poem

[Elizabeth]

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Been there- ok, not the whole flag draping part- that's Dad's thing :P

This is simple, but it literally made my heart clench a little.

[Elizabeth]

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Been there- ok, not the whole flag draping part- that's Dad's thing :P

This is simple, but it literally made my heart clench a little.

[nightmask]

it's very good i loved how you expressed her emotions so well and how he just called one of the guys and ws totally oblivious to her love for him i really love it! :)

[{Rated Vee For FAMOUS}]

thats beautiful.. it really strikes deep..
even if youd never experienced this, you feel the emotion that it causes...
beautiful ;P