Tell Me a Story

Wrote this a long time ago, I'm just moving it to this site. I come from a military family (I actually am in the military as well), and there are some things that you just don't ask about. Like Vietnam and what it was like to be a Med Tech there. So,

Tell me a story you say;
     Not now, maybe later.

Tell me a story you beg,
of those dusty, far-off memories.

 

     They're fading.

Tell me a story you ask,
of those feasts oh so grand.

     They're over.

Tell me a story you beg,
of those battles of so fierce.

     The terrors of war.

Tell me a story you say,
of those comrades so brave to behold.

     Aye.  And watching them get cut down before my eyes.

Tell me a story,
you make one final plea.

     Not now.  Not today.  Not from me.

Author's Note

I intentionally reversed the use of say, beg and ask. Please tell me what you think of that idea.

Reviews

[Carl Fraser]

Some people just thrive on the gruesome details of war,not realizing the pain and trauma of the person who witnessed the brutality of it all. My grandfather fought and was wounded in WW2 and he never did talk about it. I asked him once when I was young and he never said a word, he just wept.I never asked again. Great poem.......Blessings, Carl

[Alex Annesty]

I think this says all it needs to say. I found the use of 'say', 'beg' and 'ask' simply provided the necessary variety to help each stanza flow.

I agree with Moonlight, that a little punctuation might improve the look of the piece, but I don't think it's critical.

The poem balances mood and sentiment simply and elegantly. I found it moving. Thank you.

[Lady Arganteilin]

Greetings Ryan,

I truly loved this, it brought back memories as a young teen growing up in the Vietnam era.
Wanting to know more but was very aware of the human pain and suffering that follow our men home with that military advance...for they would not ever call it what it was I felt you captured the essence and moment. Thank you for sharing it.

Arganteilin

[Moonlight]

Dear Ryan:

I'm not writing this with any tags so I hope it stays in place...

I was wondering if you had thought to maybe alter the look of the piece above to better highlight the content.

This was what I was thinking of...

'Tell me a story' you say�

Not now, maybe later.

'Tell me a story' you beg,
'of those dusty, far-off memories?'

They're fading.

'Tell me a story' you ask,
'of those feasts oh so grand?'

They're over.

'Tell me a story' you beg,
'of those battles of so fierce?'

The terrors of war�?

'Tell me a story' you say,
'of those comrades so brave to behold!'

Aye,
And watching them get cut down before my eyes�?

'Tell me a story? '
- you make one final plea�

Not now.
Not today.
Not from me.


This was a heartfelt and poignant poem that left me with a strong feeling of respect for the soldier who would just like his memories honored as the sacrifice they represent.

He had a job to do, he did his best...he earned his rest and has a right to share when he is ready to do so and in his own way.

Thank-you for sharing your work Ryan, this was a timely and relevant subject and I'm very glad I had the chance to read.


Be well,
Moonlight.

P.S. I do not rate work unless you request it of me...this poem felt very personal and therefore beyond a 'rate'.

[nightmask]

i really love this it made sort of a mock flashback in my head of a little boy sitting in bed and his big brother comming home from war and his brother wants him to tell him these things also I love ur closure sentence

[Elizabeth]

It worked well... I think. It set the tone perfectly. My Dad is retired USAF and - yeah, there are just some things the Colonel refuses to talk about... Same with my Grandfather (USN). Their stories are guarded- haunted. This piece captures it exactly. Well done.