~ self medication

I'm alone its raining .
The pitter-patter of the rain drops enrage me
but I'm not any ordinary alone like I'm by myself
I feel alone even when I'm around people
it makes me feel like I wanna stop going
even if I have several years ahead
like something broke inside me but it cant be fixed
its to expensive to fix
like someone blew out your last candle
and theres no fire to en-flame it again
And I can't take out a loan ;
because I'm in unforeseeable debt ...
Debt that cant be paid of with all the riches, diamonds, and fame .
I always think about medicating myself ....
To take the pain away but when the drugs wear off
the pain comes back .
And the side effects to the drugs is ..
paranoia
It feel like I'm being watched people staring at me '
waiting to give me an intervention 
 .. I fall back to sleep my place of origin
..till I awake
And do more..
~ self medication