Indulgent, s**t

Listening like my heads wrapped
in blankets words hitting seconds late washing
over and slipping through
dropping down into that pit corpse
bloated from thick heavy paste I’ve gulped
down hoping it’d pass that mark and start to fill that
chest cavity
 
I have at nights
that gapes without the morning meds
that swell with water to find the edges
curve and curb, laying in the dark
I want
to eat
a heart. Or open up and beg some love
from somewhere  sniffing out that
sour taste that hangs around and coats
the sides, drips like paint inside
my cave
Someone’s tongue to fill at least one
hole tonight, alone it aches
whichever way I roll. However hard I
squeeze shut my eyes and empty
my mind, whatever pill
I throw down it
so I cut my thigh above the vein,
inch my blade slowly through skin
and wallow in that throbbing mess

Reviews

[johnnyqueer]

Your writing is organic. It's so real, and upsetting. I love it.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Again, heavy. I like how you use your pen to purge the urge because your on the verge. Keep it up.

[Pretty Faces Split Open]

This is amazing, visceral and bleeding. I love it

[Richielee]

I tell you what, you have a terrific turn of phrase,exquisite writing.a privilege to read

[...]

. you break my heart, dani ... but i know that you broke your heart first ... i agree with chris ... i don't know what your new focus should be ... but i know what mine is ... and it works ... it's writing every word that comes to my mind ... no matter how painful ... no matter how brutal ... no matter how angry ... get it all out in words ... and help me heal ... help all those you can ... people like us need each other ... we need each other to inspire us ... we need each other to stop each other from bleeding ... we're all we've got ... and it is for us to make us feel strong ... let's feel strong ... the only way to be is to be strong ...

you live in my heart
and in my every wish for recovery
you are a princess
my own fairy

grant me a magical wish
let your spell last forever
let's not perish
let's please be braver

i believe in you
and i believe in me
we'll get through
and live to be free

patience is where answers lie
and i know how hard it is to wait
let's not slowly die
let's wait for a better fate

it's there for us and we can reach it
if we just wait to heal
let's heal bit by bit
and believe in what we feel

. take care, girl ... you're my hero ...

[Chris]

Dani,

I've known 'cutters'... trouble is the pain focuses
and the focus relieves... and comes a point the pain IS the focus
and not the symptom of the hurt.

Dani, find a focus - any focus - that isn't you... and the pain will ease.

Chris