That Time

I sleep for an hour or
two wake up sweating
cold and unsure, reaching back for
whatever nightmare your cough in
the next room saved me from
its only early I’ll
stare at the insides of my
eyelids for a little

While replaying a scene
where I walk into the
ocean and dive under a wave that’s
here to swallow the beach
I was so carefully
searching for seashells and
jewellery boxes minutes before
my grandmothers voice locked
in my ear drums, my lips smeared with salt
eyes crusted shut it’s
always that same angry ocean sweeping
up the debris of my feelings or

sometimes I’m on the
edge of some cliff
somewhere out in nowhere, a forest
Blank rock faces
and I’m waiting for the fall

Author's Note

Something little and quiet

Reviews

[Kainan Corrales]

Excellent work here. The imagery and word choice in this poem is very engaging. Very nice read.

[Hanna McGivern]

I really like how you have chosen not to overcrowd this piece with punctuation, I think placing lines into marked boundaries would have ruined it, I like the free flow of images and imagery. My favourite was when she was woken from a nightmare with a cough from another room. That image was so strong and relatable for me and it helped me with the overall embodiment of the poem. I look forward to reading the rest of your work.

[Subterannean]

The metaphoric imagery explodes in the latter half of the poem, it's hardly "little and quiet". Again, your aptitude for rhythm and meter is apparent.

[OTBaka]

AWESOME! Very nice read. "reaching back for whatever nightmare your cough in the next room saved me from"

[Rhea752]

this is great the emotion is lovely. 100%

[Laura Maidah]

It's "grandmother's" with an apostrophe. Punctuation should be consistent, and you have full marks from me! I like your style, coolguy.

[...]

. am back ... and these words sing more beautifully than before ...
. i have missed your words ... and you ...

[...]

intense and deep
that wait is sometimes
so interminable
that there's nothing
to do but be lost in it

[Pretty Faces Split Open]

Love love love, I want to eat this

[Letemdangle]

This has the feel of some strange dreams I've had. By the way thanks for your reviews. You nailed the emotion of the little boy roaming the hall.