Familiar

Mood
swings, my head wants to
explode. I need
some space between me and feeling
this
face pressed to the pillow
pull blankets up over me can’t
relax, eyes leaking, uncomfortable
knowledge that
time has to pass
for my brain to recover its
stores, whatever chemical
banks I flooded last
night for some hours of
insight and happiness forgotten
now. Borrowed
chill time,
makes me itch for more
minutes to pass faster less
noticeably
slow, this time
now it’ll
never get better. I hate everything
can’t afford to fix this today. Gunshots stop,
You stop
playing and
crawl in behind me
wrap an arm over mine, entwine fingers
lips brush my hair,
you contain it, radiate it- warmth,
Peace in the steady inhale
exhale in tune with mine, pressed against my back.
And you’re still here,
you’re still here

Reviews

[.]

~ what a beautiful heartsong... love is amazing, isn't ? ... and that's why it's so comforting... ~ even i have those incredibly restive moments when i struggle to go on... and he's not even here... but his presence in the universe keeps me going... ~ it's lovely that you posted something new... have been waiting to read you... i just wrote in a reply yesterday that you're one of the top girl-woman writers on this site... :)

[_mal]

Thank you for your kind words, happy as to hear you've got someone special :)
I think you and I connect

[.]

~ you're my hero... you always inspire me... ~ it's a privilege to read you... and yes... that special person is special and it's amazing... :)

[h d e rushin]

you're a fabulous story teller...

[ChemicalMadness]

skin on skin, breath against breath....the warmth of two. it's magic elixir. Captured so well here...everything that precedes the final 10 lines, sets up the weight of the final 10....your pain gives such meaning to the relief. So well done.....

CM

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes we need that rock...that love, mine reminds me that i am still sane among all the chaos...

sometimes i want it all just to stop...i can't sleep for my mind is just churning, churning churning.

related to this...felt that need for space between "me and feeling this"

[Leica]

the merest touch by that special person has a unique way of calming our fears, shutting off those screams..
nicely penned poem!

[Angi]

I have days where I feel just like this. Nothing works and I just want to scream into a pillow. I like the last 8 lines. 'You're still here, you're still here.' I can feel her shuddering exhale there.

[caesarkreshen]

I feel like no matter how a poem starts, as long as it establishes a rhythm or order, it is good.

I feel that it happens here, but then it starts kind of wobbling, especially at "eyes leaking." That should be cut, I think.

I think your talent is in the ability to establish said rhythm and, through the use of syllables and line breaks really create tension. Definitely could go through and re-do some lines in this one.

I often feel like whenever I tell people to edit lines... that they go to my page and look at my writing and say... why don't YOU edit lines. haha. but my excuse is I don't care.

still, it's a pity to have such a great flow and a story that is told simply by the way it is arranged... then have lines that seem to border on cliche like eyes leaking.

I like the end.

[TLK]

I like your attempted imposition of biological causes on the mood swings. If only self-knowledge was that simple.