A Request

When your hero arrives just a tad too late.

I beg of you my love.

Next time find me faster.

I know it’s not you who rules this world.

I know fate has a different master.

But please, my love

Next time find me sooner.

Don’t waste your time in endless loops

Don’t lose yourself and follow the groups.

Please, please my love

Next time find me faster,

And you showing up on time

Might prevent my life’s disaster.

Reviews

[Planet x]

Please, please my love
Next time find me faster,

Wish we could have the same timing , hope we could control when happiness comes in

[@_av_poetry]

Thanks for reading! I could write a book about how timing messed up with me haha. I chose to write something a little more brief instead.

[emipoemi]

My only comment is that the penultimate line say "For you showing up on time", because you're adding a reason to justify the request and to buffer the final line, which would make the final line more powerful. The poem as a whole, I have to say, is an utter gem, and something that many lonely and heartbroken people can relate to. The progression is expertly executed in it's minuet-like style, and it's relatively engaging in the delivery of its message. Well done!

[@_av_poetry]

Very grateful for your reviews. I write what comes to me and I admit I do not know the "rules" of poetry. It's nice to get some constructive criticism and learn from my mistakes.

[emipoemi]

That's what I'm here for :) You're very welcome. It's a good way to go, simply writing, for it means you're not thinking or worrying about the outcome, which is how great writing is accomplished: "Don't think, feel" is what I always say; "give yourself to the poems and they will guide you". What you should improve on is not so much your understanding of the "rules" of poetry, for technically these "rules" are arbitrary. They do exist - there are "rules" - but the arbitrariness stems from the fact that you need to feel what's right. No, you need for improvement is not on the "rules" of poetry so much as the "rules"of language. What words mean in given circumstances. For the majority of my comments concern that factor. You feel very well when you write, and that's why you write great stuff. You just need to improve on the craft of what language does in certain situations. You master that, I would be speechless after every poem you put out next. Keep letting it flow, but be aware of what the words are doing in the given lines. Keep writing. I look forward to more of your work.

[@_av_poetry]

I'm actually bilingual and English is my 3rd language so no matter how hard I've studied it there's always the possibility of mistakes. :)

[emipoemi]

Oh! Well that explains something.....it also means you're trilingual. But your English is not half as bad as you think by the way you write. I would have never guessed that (given you also reside in the UK). What are your other two languages?

(some advice would be to read more works written in English, and there are a heck of a lot of great anglophone writers on here you could read and learn from. That might help with the language "problem".... for lack of a better word).

[@_av_poetry]

My "mother tongues" are Albanian and Greek. I do read a lot of works in English. I am a huge bookworm. Maybe I should read more poetry in general. I always have this irrational fear that if I read too much poetry I will unintentionally adopt someone else's style and I won't have my own anymore.

[emipoemi]

Funnily enough, you learn better by emulation/imitation. When I started 10 years ago, I emulated the Romantics and Shakespeare to get a sense of how everything flows and whatnot. Further down the line, I started acquiring my own style/voice until now I'm my own unique poet. Emulation/Imitation is the best teacher, and from there you could work your way to molding yourself as your own poet.

And reading poetry in general is a good way to go as well, and you've come to the right place to do just that, for there are a number fo fantastic poets on here who you could read and possibly learn from.

If you have any other questions/comments/concerns, I'd be more than happy to answer/help out.

[@_av_poetry]

I will take you up on that thanks. Any advice is welcome. I want to improve.

[emipoemi]

Well, I'm a budding mentor - just ask any of my friends on here. Always happy to be of service. All you have to do is ask, and I'll def help mold you into something great (not that you need much help, for as I said in the reviews I have given you so far, you only fall flat in certain aspects of the language. Your flow, your imagery, and your messages are all brilliant in general. There are simply nitpicky aspects of language which could amp up the power and render the poems absolute perfection, and that's really - so far - the only thing I have noticed that you need to improve on).