Hiding Place

When times are dark, you're blessed if you have someone in your life that will become your safe haven. You will ask them to shield you from the world, to hide you, to make you invisible.

I don’t know when your arms transformed, 

From flesh into a hiding place. 

I always feared oblivion, 

That my being here would not be traced.

That all I loved and lived and lost, 

One day would be erased.

I tried to walk through life with grace, 

And accept what I thought was fated. 

But often times I lost my pace. 

And I stumbled and crashed instead, 

Drowning in the shallow waters 

That carefully I tried to tread. 

I found my solace in your lovely face 

And the space that your body created, 

But mine was always a losing case,

From the moment I swallowed your bait.

And by the time I knew, it was too late,

That you only found pleasure in the chase.

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

I suppose love is a chase.
But there's got to be an ending, otherwise there's no hope.
But as you say, some see the thrill in the chase.

[@_av_poetry]

They key word is "only".
The chase is an amazing part of flirting, persuing someone. But it's not the whole point.
Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This very well metred, flowing poem has deep feelings, pathos in pen. The feeling of seeking out the sanctuary of love in which to nest seems blissful until we reach the final three lines and find the hurt and disappointment icy cold.

[@_av_poetry]

Glad you enjoyed.
Thanks for your visit. Feel free to share your thoughts at any time. Much appreciated.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hook, line and sinker, we fall for someone...and then find out that someone only wanted the challenge.
Very smoothly you portray that scenario...
not a rhyme fan, but i like how you did it here.
adds to the feeling of theme.
j.

[@_av_poetry]

Well I have to admit I'm a sucker for rhyming. I hope that won't stop you from reading more of my work haha

To be honest I am trying my best to do it in a way that doesn't distract the reader from the meaning of the poem but rather enhances it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Angela,
you succeeded...the rhyme did not distract...
it worked, and theme still dominated. And of course I will be back...:)
j.

[@_av_poetry]

Lovely to hear! Thank you. :)

[emipoemi]

YOU - ARE - BRILLIANT!! This is brilliant!! Take out the "I swear", for it ruins the musicality a bit, and for the same reason, ".....always a lost case" should have a disyllabic synonym for "lost" (which also would benefit the poem since the expression is actually "a lost cause"). But everything else is perfection!! And with those tweaks put into effect, this would be a bona-fide gem!! Well freaking done!

[@_av_poetry]

Lovely advice, thank you.

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.