Three Times Is Enough

A Story by _Sai_

"Three Times Is Enough" Is dedicated to a friend who cried with me when I was at my weakest. I hope for you readers to be inspired by this story and learn a lesson from it.

"Three Times is Enough"

   Falling in love is a gamble I am willing to take. Of course it isn't perfect as one would predict but that's just how it is. As a teen it was all fun and games. People, specially adults would judge it as a puppy love. Even though my parents are too strict and does not want me to have any serious relationship yet I took a risk and said yes to the guy I thought at that time was perfect for me. We were fine. I didn't have any experience and he was my first boyfriend so I thought that everything was just fine. But because Zayn was the friendly type of guy while I was a jealous and possessive type, we were bound to contradict each other. Every time he would get too close or too friendly with a girl I would throw a tantrum or would express myself through my actions. I guess...that was the biggest mistake I made because he dumped me. He said that I was too possessive, that I was suffocating him.

   It hurt.

   I didn't know what to do but just cry. I cried my first heart break. And I cried because of my first love.

   Getting over him was hard, but I was able to overcome it and we ended up still being friends. I was eventually happy. Zayn started dating someone in my class and I just let it be. I was starting to fall in love again after a year. He was kind and sweet to me. Unlike Zayn, he was putting all his efforts to try and get close to me. I really liked him and so I said my second yes for my second love. After a year Zayn moved away. Because I was worried for his sake and we at least had something special, I was able to send him off with a smile. Everything was going the way I wanted. But then everything just had to fall apart. I started having a problem with my family and Ryan, my current boyfriend, was starting to show his true colors. He was very possessive and if I thought I was a jealous type, Ryan was three times more than me. Everything is going south. I had problems being thrown at me from all sides that I just couldn't keep up. And then my parents just had to know about my relationship with Ryan. I couldn't disobey them. More than anything I owe my parents my life and I thought that that was the least I could do for them. You see, I'm not rich I just live a little below an average life. I broke up with him. I guess I know now what Zayn meant when he said that my possessiveness was suffocating, because it really is suffocating.

   I spent my days focusing on solving my own problems and at least putting everything back to the way it used to be, or at least I tried to. Another year has passed. I was starting to be a pessimistic because of all the things that happened in my past years. This year's a bit different though. I met new faces and I met old ones too. And that includes Zayn. I never thought that he would come back. His features are more refined and his body matured a lot. I thought he was still the same and so I didn't paid him much attention. I was just glad that he was back and more importantly, I made new friends. I expanded my own cicle. I guess all my hard work has paid off.

   Everything was going smoothly. Everyone was happy and content with what there are are. It just came a surprise to me that Zayn was liking one of my friends. As a friend I support them and just let them be. After a while though me and Ryan went back together. I was, again, happy. I was with Ryan and my friend was with my friend. But as time goes on I noticed how different Zayn treated my friend. He was putting his efforts and so is my friend. I never saw Zayn like that even at that time where he dated other girls. I guess he matured a lot over the year. And as the year was comming to an end I realized something. Or I think something inside of me was starting to re surface.

   I was falling for him again!

   I don't know what to do. I already have Ryan but my heart was with Zayn even though he's with someone else. I can't do anything but choke on my own feelings. It was pure hell. I'm with my own boyfriend but my heart and mind's with Zayn who's indulging on his own happiness. I feel like crying all over again. Why does he have to do this to me again? He already took my heart and crushed it, now he's crushing it all over again.

   I need to let go. I need to remove these feelings before he can damage my poor heart any further.

   Everything's done. Again it's the start of another year. But I didn't expect that my friend would end their relationship. I guess she has her own priorities too just like me. Our batch is almost at the end. We're going to prepare for our own future soon. My bond with my friends are stronger than before. It's almost time. We're almost finish. But my irritating heart just had to fall for him again. Why can't I stop loving him?! What is it that my heart sees in him that it just had to be broken two time already. And more than that, I was afraid to confess to my friend who I know loved him. But I have my limit too.

   I cried yet again because of him.

   I poured my heart out.

   But the thing I find amusing is the one who's comforting me is my friend who had a past with him. She said that I was stupid keeping it all to myself. That I should have told her everything because she was my friend. That gave me courage. I decided to confess. I was full of hope. I hoped that he would return my feelings. I hoped for the best because I thought I have nothing to worry about anymore. My friends support me, SHE supports me and my decisions.

   But I hoped too much.

   He didn't returned it.

   He didn't gave my heart back.

   All I felt was cold shallow emptiness.

   It was like a large void was all that's left in my chest.

   I cried yet again for the nth time. I can't keep up with the countless times HE had made me cry. All my friends could do was just hug me till I calm down. I was so stupid. And what hurt the most was that he couldn't return my feelings because he was chasing after someone. He's liking someone else.

   Am I ugly?

   Am I a bad person?

   Am I not worthy enough to be loved by him?

   Those were the questions that kept on popping in my head. Now I can't do anything anymore but just accept everything. I can't even keep a smile on my face for a moment without bursting into tears whenever I see him staring at the girl he likes with so much tenderness. I just have to keep holding on to my friends' support til I get him out of my heart. I'll get through this. I trust that I can. Once was an accident, twice was a mistake but Three times is ENOUGH.

~Stef