You are my Sunshine

A short story about my dog. Please give this a chance, the first part is slightly religious. Nonfiction.

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are gray,

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you,

So please, don't take

My sunshine away."

 

         I have always struggled with religion and how it works. Yes, I believe in a god, but never have I followed a religion. Church never really made sense to me, but I used to go a lot. Not just churches, I went to temples, mosques, anything that had a religious connection to it. It has always been something that I crave, I just don't understand it.

         Growing up, I never really went to church, my mother was raised Roman Catholic and was an EC (Easter and Christmas) churchgoer. My father hated the church. He would always say that they destroy religion.

         Sometimes, I think that he has a point, not necessarily that they destroy it... But I do think that if there is a god, why would he or she want us in a box praying? Why not be out in nature, in his/her creation, admiring it beauty. I don't think it’s a sin not going to church. Everyone connects to their idea of god in a different way.

         As far as praying went, I never prayed much. However, I did keep a journal, and I would write letter to my idea of god every evening. Mostly just talking, I rarely prayed for anything. The two times that I did, my requests were fulfilled, none in the way that I was expecting.

         It was right before my seventh birthday my mother got a job offering. It was better paying, less hours, and in a place that she and my father always wanted to live. So she took it. The next thing I knew we were moving from Truckee, California, to Florence, Montana, a town of 900 people. 

         I hated it. I just needed a friend, somebody that I could talk to and play pretend with and have sleepovers with. Somebody that I could tell all my wishes, and dreams and secrets to. Someone that would laugh with me when I was happy, and comfort me when I was sad. I just really need a friend. 

         It was the first time I ever asked for something. The request was simple, I just asked that he/she send me a friend. Then next day my mother and I went over to a one of the cities in Montana, Missoula. My mother wanted to get me some new work clothes. We went to the mall. 

         For the next several hours we went from store to store while my mother found herself new pants and dress shirts and a new pair of shoes. The day slowly wore by. Finally, we stopped at a restaurant in the mall to grab dinner. She knew that I was still down from the move so we went to a little Chinese restaurant, which was my favorite type of food. 

         As we were eating I noticed a pet store across the mall and begged my mother to go into it. She said ok but "we were just looking, no touching." I excitedly agreed. A few minutes later there I was, looking at all the birds, hamsters, ferrets, and guniea pigs. As I went further back I discovered that they had cats, and beyond that were dogs.

         I came up to a cage that held two puppies, one was a cute little dog that was white with brown patches. She ran up to the glass that was separating us and jumped around playfully. I couldn't help but smile and laugh. My mother came up behind me and together we watched the dog as it played through the glass.

         A few minutes later one of the people opened up the other side of the kennel and took her out. Upset, I decided that I wanted to leave. We started to walk out when suddenly the employee who had taken out the white and brown puppy walked up to us and placed the dog in my arms. She squirmed excitedly and licked my face. My mom bent down and scratched her behind the ear. 

         "I noticed that you two had been looking at her, so I figured you would at least like to hold her." Said the employee.

         "After a moment my mom said something that surprised me, asking the employee how much the dog was.

         "Well the two dogs in that kennel are rat terriers. They are $800 dollars." he paused for a moment before adding, "This one however didn't come with any papers, so she is only $200."

         What happened next I still can't believe to this day. My mother told the employee that we'd take her. My mother never wanted us to have another dog, especially a hyper active puppy. But there we were, walking out into the parking lot, my mom carrying her new clothes and me carrying a puppy. On the forty-minute drive home my mom asked me what I was going to call her. 

         "Sunshine," I said, "because she is my sunshine.”

         I came to discover that she was my sunshine. When I was down she made me happy. She was my blue skies on cloudy days and my light in the dark. Wherever I went, she would follow. We became the best of friends. Nothing could separate us.

         Everyday we would go on walks together in the forest behind my house, playing outside until the sun would go down. Every night she would cuddle close to me and snore softly in my arms.

         As I grew older we would go running together every day. Some days I was too busy with school and sports and she would always understand. Instead of pestering me to play on those days she would simply lay down with her head on my lap or be curled up next to my feet.

            When I was feeling sad or depressed she would come lay next to me, looking up with her big brown eyes, giving me this look that said, “Its all going to be okay, don’t you worry now.” And she was always right.

            Before I knew it, it was my senior year of high school.  I still kept my prayer journal. It was the end of the school year and in a few months I would be traveling over a thousand miles from Montana to my college in Arizona.

            The date came to fast, and the next thing I knew I was hugging my furry, four legged, best friend goodbye. She cocked her head to one side and gave me a look that said, “Why are you crying? Its all going to be okay, I will be right here waiting for you when you get back. Then we can go on more great adventures.” I trusted her, but it still didn’t make leaving any easier.

            School came and went, and suddenly it was Thanksgiving. I was going home. I was going to see my sunshine! When I got back she seemed older than when I left. She moved slower, there was a bit of grey on her face. But that didn’t stop her. Just like she promise she was there waiting for me and we picked up where we had left off, and once again we were the best of friends.

            That break went to fast, and all of the sudden, I was back at school again. But a month later was Christmas break! And soon enough I was heading back home. I got home on December 14^th. But when I pulled in to my driveway my best friend didn’t come bounding up like she usually would to say hello to me.

            I walked inside, creaking open the door before cautiously calling out “Sunny!” Nothing. I called again. Finally I heard the jingle of her tags and she walked up to me, her tail was wagging, but her energy was gone. I kneeled down, greeting her. I couldn’t help but notice how grey her face looked, and how big her stomach looked.

            When I saw my mom, I asked her what was wrong with Sunny. She told me that she hadn’t eaten anything that day and had been feeling down. Another two days passed and still she didn’t eat. I took her to the vet and he told me that she still needed to lose weight and that sometimes dogs “just don’t eat.”

            Sunny stopped sleeping with me. I would go down stairs to find her curled up under our Christmas tree, breaths heavy. I took her to the vet two more times. Made the draw blood, do tests, find out what was wrong with my best friend. They gave her IVs pumping nutrients into her.

On Christmas Eve morning I woke up and went down stairs. I found Sunny curled up under the Christmas tree. She was yellow, quiet literally yellow. My beautiful little white and brown dog was yellow. I rushed her to the vet again. Demanded that they do more tests, figure out what was wrong with her. Finally they did an ultrasound.

Her liver was five times the size of a dog her size should be.  They ran her blood again and found that signs of liver problems were coming up in her blood stream. Immediately they started her on half a dozen medications. We were at the vet all day long. By the time we were heading out, it was night.

That night we didn’t go directly home, instead we drove the subdivisions, looking at all the Christmas lights and luminaries. It was beautiful. Sunny sat in my lap, and for the first time since getting home, she looked better. That night I got home and I asked my god for something for the second time. Again, it was simple, “Please take care of my Sunshine for me, I can’t stand to see her hurting and suffering like this.”

That night she went to sleep under the Christmas tree again. But at about midnight I felt the familiar pawing on the side of my bed, her asking permission to come up and cuddle. I smiled at that, because now I knew that she had to be getting better. And just like old times she burrowed under my blankets and cuddled up against me, snoring softly.

At 5:02 A.M. Christmas morning I woke up to the sound of heavy breathing. I pulled back my covers, figuring that Sunny was too hot. Even when she got hot, she would never move, she would always just pant under the covers. I pulled back my blankets so that she could have some fresh air.

After several minutes however she didn’t let up on her heavy breaths. Instead they became more ragged, more labored. Suddenly, I realized what was happening. I began to cry silently, pulling her close to me.

She looked at me, her eyes in pain. Her breathing still not letting up. I started to sing to her, because I realized that there was nothing else that I could do. I sang softly in a choked voice, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you’ll never know dear, how much I love you, so please, don’t take, my sunshine away.”

It was the song that she was name for, the song that my mother would sing to me every morning when I was little to wake me up. I kept singing this mantra quietly, all the while silently begging for her not to go.

I lost count how many times I sang it to her. All the while she just watched me silently. Finally she leaned up and licked my cheek, wiping off the tears. The amount of energy it took her was monumental, and she rested her head back to the bed.

I leaned in, hugging her closer and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Her breaths slowed, then ceased. It was 5:47 A.M. I pulled her close and broke down, crying like I had never cried before. I sang the song one last time to her, praying that she would come back.

I lay in bed with her next to me, feeling her body slowly grow cold. I lost track of time. Eventually I heard my parents moving around downstairs. Finally I got up, I had to get up. And at 9:02 on Christmas morning I got out of bed and carried my Sunshine downstairs to where my parents were waiting by the Christmas tree.

Author's Note

This is a true story. I didn't do much editing so please forgive the mistakes.

Reviews

[zainul]

It made me cry.
Zune,thank you for sharing the tragic event.
I have no more words to comfort you.
But,you have written a masterpiece that is full of love and compassion.
I congratulate you, Zune!!!